In the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, after Guan Yu's death, Zhang Fei wanted to avenge him, and ordered his subordinates Fan Jiang and Zhang Da to prepare white flags and white armor within three days and hang filial piety to Wu.
Fan Zhang and the two felt that the time was too tight, and asked for a few days of grace, Zhang Fei was very angry, so he ordered the two to be whipped back for 50, and after the fight, they were both fully equipped the next day, and the violators were beheaded.
The two felt that this task could not be completed, and instead of losing their heads, it was better to kill Zhang Fei and have a chance to live. That night, Fan Jiang Zhang Da took advantage of Zhang Fei's drunkenness and sneaked into Zhang Fei's tent with a sharp blade, killed Zhang Fei, and took his first rank to defect to Sun Quan.
Zhang Fei was eager for revenge, and the reasonable demands made by his subordinates made him extremely angry, and he made the wrong practice of whipping his subordinates out of control, so that he lost his life.
So what's a great way for us to control our emotions? The author Lian Shan's book "If You Lose aNgry", gives the answer.
Before learning how to control emotions, let's first look at the harm that emotional loss of control can do to us.
People are very easy to lose their minds when they are angry, they can't judge things correctly, and when something or a certain sentence makes us feel hurt, they start to get angry, and the words they say are not only hurtful and disgusting, but also cause tension in interpersonal relationships.
When we are angry because of a small matter, it hurts not only others, but also ourselves, the "Yellow Emperor's Inner Classic" clearly points out that "a hundred diseases are born of qi", often angry will hurt our liver, cause liver qi depression, anger also makes people's blood pressure increase, resulting in fainting, serious will also cause the occurrence of cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases.
Knowing the harm caused by emotional loss of control, how to control your emotions when you are angry? There are three good ways to help us do it.
1. Enter a sense of self-control
When people are angry, there will be some small movements, such as hands will unconsciously clench into fists, constantly walking around, or mouth constantly chanting, cursing, or clenching teeth.
When these signals appear, we must mobilize our reason, control our emotions, by counting, from one to ten, counting slowly, so that we can calm down first, the emotions will not escalate to anger, which will be greatly reduced, so that we can fall into a passive situation of impulsive recklessness and regret.
2. Emotion transfer method
The emotional transfer method is to avoid bad stimuli and divert attention to alleviate the impact of bad emotions. When we are angry, we can release the angry emotions through transfer, let ourselves calm down, temporarily get rid of the anger emotions, for example, you can first do some simple things, such as doing housework, sorting out books, etc., or you can also make yourself better by exercising, eating delicious food, listening to music, etc., and effectively resist bad emotions.
3. Vent moderately
People's bad emotions are like a closed pond, it has no channel for catharsis, we must give it a new mouth, proper catharsis, and eliminate bad emotions in a timely manner. We can cry or yell out loud in a place where there is no one there, or you can write down your anger, you can use a lot of adjectives, and you will find that when you finish writing it will feel a lot more comfortable.
In work and life, we tend to be angry for some people or things, anger can not solve the problems we encounter, but also worsen our relationships, more serious will make our body hurt.
Although controlling angry emotions is not an easy task, we need to learn to control and regulate emotions in the right way, so that we can stay away from anger and face life with a positive and healthy mindset.