What is marriage?
Some say marriage is the graveyard of love; some say marriage is a paradise of happiness.
The meaning of marriage varies from person to person, as it is often said: men marry to pass on the generations, and women marry to find their own home.
It is not difficult to see that women marry more emotional sustenance, hoping to spend the rest of their lives with the people they love.
However, life is always full of helplessness, not all love will have results, and finally leave regrets.
The story I want to tell today comes from a fan's sharing: Ms. Liu, 46, had an accident with her neighbors, and since then she has been entangled and once fell into panic, not knowing what to do.
What the hell is going on? Let's take a look at it together, it may be enlightening to you.
My surname is Liu, I am 46 years old, and I have not worked since I got married, which is what everyone calls a housewife.
Because they are the elders of the family, the parents are older, and when they were students, it was common for others to recognize them as my grandparents.
Throughout human life, there are some unspeakable secrets. Regrets that cannot be recovered, dreams that cannot be touched, and love that cannot be forgotten.
My parents were not only older, but also very different in their thinking and concepts, and their practices in many things were beyond my imagination. For example, my marriage.
My husband's marriage was "parental order" and it hurt my heart every time I mentioned it. In fact, before getting married, I had a boyfriend, but my parents were unwilling and obstructed in every way, and I did not have the capital and ability to resist at that time, and finally I could only compromise and break up, which has always been a regret in my heart.
The reason was that they had booked me a family affair without asking for my opinion, my husband, and we hadn't even met before the engagement.
There is really too much helplessness in the world, and we are always forced to do something that we are unwilling to do or even hate.
After getting married, I completely died of heart, fortunately, my husband is an honest man who is hard-working and hard-working, he loves me a lot, and after getting married, I did not let me suffer a little, and I became the envy of everyone "full-time wife".
Soon after marriage, I became pregnant, I gave birth to two daughters in three consecutive years, my life became busy and full, I put my time and energy into my children, and the days were plain but not boring.
Time is like an arrow, and in the blink of an eye, my two daughters have grown up, especially after middle school, and I only come back once a week, leaving me alone in the family.
Who has no regrets in life.
I actually know that my husband always wanted a son, and when the two daughters were older, he brought it up more than once. But I don't want to regenerate, and a large part of the reason is that I don't want to follow the old path of my parents, I am in my 40s, my thoughts must not be able to keep up, and I have just survived, and I really don't have the energy to experience it again.
So I was very reluctant to be with my husband, and I always slept in separate rooms on the grounds of taking care of the children, and after the children went to middle school, they naturally had to live together, and the husband mentioned this again.
It was also because of this that I had an argument with my husband, and my husband lost his temper for the first time, and there was a gap between us, and he was unwilling to bow his head, and I was unwilling to compromise.
Since then, I have deliberately avoided my husband, and as long as he is at home, I will deliberately get up early and go out.
After taking care of my two daughters all these years, I have been living in seclusion and have no friends around me. At first, he was always wandering aimlessly in the park alone, but later he became acquainted with the people in the park, slowly blended into it, and found that many of them were neighbors.
And everyone is similar in age, and has similar experiences, especially can talk, get along comfortably, and gradually become friends.
Especially Chen Ailing (pseudonym), we are both the same age, the name also has the word "Ling", coincidentally we live in the same building.
Women are mostly the same, and chatting together is either husband and child, or parents are short. From Ailing's mouth, she learned that she and her husband Wang Jianfeng (pseudonym) had a relationship with each other for many years, because Wang Jianfeng did not do his job, he knew to eat, drink and have fun all day, and the two mouths fought when they did not agree, and the family did not have a peaceful birthday.
There is a difficult scripture in the family.
I didn't want to face my husband, I didn't want to go home; Ai Ling's husband only cared about fun and rarely stayed at home, so the two of us often met at her house, sometimes all day.
Naturally, I got to know Chen Jianfeng, and in the process of getting along, I found that he was not as bad as Ai Ling said. On the contrary, others are humorous and funny, their brains are flexible, and their business is doing well, which are the capital for people's fun.
Compared with my husband, it is better to say that he is thick and honest, it is better to say that he is dead-headed, and we have not given a decent gift in so many years of marriage, let alone sweet words.
Sometimes I have to admire the insight of men, and after getting along with Chen Jianfeng a few times, he noticed that there was a problem between me and my husband, and I couldn't help but complain to him about men's "son preference" and "machismo".
When he learned of our situation, he did not laugh at me, but often comforted me, and I was very grateful to him and felt warm in my heart.
However, an accident shattered the peaceful life.
As I grew older, my husband didn't mention the "having a son" anymore, he went out to work as usual, leaving me alone.
Chen Jianfeng often found an excuse to come to his home as a guest, and I also saw his careful thinking, and at the beginning I was strictly guarded and did not let him stay longer.
He became more and more bold, often giving me gifts, and finally I still failed to hold on and did something I shouldn't have done.
Afterwards, I regretted my actions, and at the same time I was a little afraid, I told Chen Jianfeng not to continue in the future, he agreed with his mouth, and I still hid at home for several days in a row.
The more she escaped, the more tormented she became, and Ai Ling soon discovered my abnormality and came to my house to show her concern. And Chen Jianfeng did not keep his promise and constantly harassed me.
He knew that I was alone at home, always sending me messages in the middle of the night, and reason told me that I could not continue, but I still could not control myself, I was completely trapped, and since then we have been entangled.
Feelings that are "stolen" will not have any good results. Near the end of the year, my husband and daughter who worked and studied outside the home have returned, and the warmth of the family has made me realize my mistake, and I am determined not to associate with Chen Jianfeng again.
I was too naïve, Chen Jianfeng paid no attention to my words, and always deliberately appeared in front of me, smiling at me heartily, I was extremely flustered inside, and I didn't know what to do!
I regret the ridiculous things I did, and at the same time feel sad, why are my feelings so bad?
But what can I do? I want to confess all this to my husband, but I am afraid that if my husband does not forgive me for filing for divorce, then I will lose everything completely.
Now that I am nearly half a hundred years old, I can't stand the toss, and everything in front of me makes me panic, I don't know what to do?
Yu Dan said: What people want most, they will become what kind of prisoners.
Ms. Liu's feelings when she was young left regrets, so she will be so paranoid about feelings, although the family is harmonious and the marriage is happy, she still cannot make up for the regrets in her heart.
Therefore, a lifetime of clinging to feelings, obsessing over and not realizing, has led to great disasters.
People are like this, in the face of what they value, they will definitely be wrapped up in it, and finally "lose" themselves.
In fact, the most regrettable thing in life is that it is easy to give up what should not be given up, stubbornly, and insist on what should not be insisted on.
We should be responsible for our marriage and family.
"The paper can't contain the fire", the facts cannot be hidden, do not take chances, and stay until the East Window incident will make both sides lose. Being a person should have the most basic bottom line and dare to pay for their mistakes.
Ms. Liu's betrayal of the marriage is indeed incorrect, but it should not be wrong again and again, and it should stop the loss in time, take the initiative to confess everything to her husband, and strive for her husband's forgiveness.
If you blindly escape, not only can you not solve the problem, but you will also let yourself fall into a predicament and will not be able to get out for a lifetime.
What are your thoughts on this?
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