Wen | came to the sauce
"Mom" is busy with the whole family, but forgets to "take care of herself".
The news of Henan's 56-year-old aunt's one-man self-driving trip has exploded on the Internet. When the daughter marries and the grandson grows up, the aunt gradually feels that the various roles in life are no longer needed.
Once, in order to pass the electronic toll booth husband proposed the AA system, coupled with half her life for the family, for the children selflessly paid, so that she lived very depressed.
Big Mom Su Min thinks: When the role of "mother and wife" is no longer needed and valued, what is left of her?
By chance, Su Min came up with the idea of a self-driving trip, and after preparing for a year, she drove the car she bought with her own money and resolutely embarked on the journey.
The once bleak life suddenly became vivid. The trip allowed Aunt Su Min to broaden her horizons, see the great rivers and mountains of the motherland, and also let her find the meaning of life.
Women who become "mothers" are labeled to play the oldest and freshest, most important and loneliest role in the world, but how many women can bravely live out their own lives without being bound by inner barriers?
Momself is a "mother's school of life", when a woman becomes a mother, people all over the world only care about how she raises children, Momself cares about "her" as an independent individual, in the process of experiencing identity transformation, real emotional appeals and cognitive challenges, concerned about "her" pursuit of growth.
Momself once joined hands with 12 media in 2019 to jointly launch the "Survey Report on the Survival Status of Post-8090 Mothers", and the results of the analysis of the data found that more than 50% of women were not satisfied with the status quo: "Becoming a mother did not make us become ourselves in anticipation, we just became what we never thought." ”
"Mom's "War": A Report on the Growth of Mothers in the New Era" is the first collection of moms in the five years since the establishment of the Momself platform, which is a book for the wisdom and courage of every mother, which directly attacks the survival problem of 100 million Chinese mothers and explores the solution of "becoming a mother, but also achieving self".
Marriage is a secular institution, a product of the development of human society, but it is also a life experience that belongs to two people. It inspires the worst in each of us, and it also makes us aware of our deepest desires. - "Mama's War"
Momself founder Cui Xuan was not happy when she first became a mother.
In countless late nights, in order to avoid the child crying and arguing until the family rests, she held the baby alone on the balcony, coaxing the crying child in her arms, "The whole world is only me and him!" Cui Xuan said at that time, "I can't be happy. ”
No one understands that when you hold a child and cry with a child, it is a feeling of self-blame and helplessness.
When Cui Xuan's husband came home from work and said, "Wow, you're resting at home, it's really nice!" Cui Xuan thought in his heart: "You are the CEO, I am also the CEO, why do I have to lie at home?" ”
In fact, women are busy with others after marriage, but rarely busy with themselves.
Have you ever suddenly stopped drying your clothes, nursing, mopping the floor, and asked yourself, what's wrong with my life?
Nicole in "Marriage Story", after giving birth to a child, not only has to cooperate with her husband's work, but also takes on the responsibility of "good wife and mother". As a result, she felt that "a part of her heart was dead and lifeless."
Nicole realizes that her married life is completely different from what she had envisioned, and the husband takes his wife's sacrifice for granted in marriage.
Women in reality are also, on the one hand, deeply influenced by the traditional mother image, full of love and expectation; on the other hand, in the new era and competition, many traditional ways have been broken, and "mother" needs to be redefined.
"None of us were really ready for any kind of life, but we slammed into each other." Becoming a "mother" means that you are stronger than before, ready to "take over".
Unconsciously, "mother" has become a "social symbol", which means self-awakening, balance and control, coordination of resources, overall division of labor, and even a manifestation of comprehensive ability - after all, the development of children can undoubtedly reflect the social status and cognitive level of mothers from one side. - "Mama's War"
In the safety instructions film on international flights, they always teach parents that when they encounter disasters, they should wear their oxygen masks first, and then help their children put them on.
As a mother, you should take care of yourself first and put yourself in the first place.
Don't stop thinking about yourself because you have a child, and know how to take care of and nourish yourself is a very important thing.
Michelle Obama never imagined that she would one day become the First Lady of the United States. But they, like every couple, had problems with their marriages.
With her husband, Obama, a heavy workload, Michelle felt no support, especially when she had a full-time job herself and had to take care of her two children.
They choose to have marital counseling. She gradually realized that she wanted to make herself happier.
Michelle said: "Maybe I can do more than ever to make myself happy." First of all, I was determined to make my body healthier..."
And Michelle hopes that when her daughter grows up, she will be strong at heart, pay attention to her own needs, and not tolerate any form of old-school patriarchal politics...
Being a happy mother is the first thing you can do for your child, and the source of all parenting should be based on happiness.
We all encourage children to say "you can be whatever you want to be", but can children see it in their mother?
The most frightening thing is that many mothers transfer their hopes to their children because they cannot complete certain dreams, expecting the children to complete them instead.
After becoming a mother, do you always put aside what you want to do?
The housewife played by Meryl Streep in "The Dream of the Covered Bridge", when faced with the invitation of her lover to leave together, said sadly: "You don't understand, no one can understand that when a woman chooses to get married and have children, on the one hand, it means the beginning of her life, but on the other hand, it also means the end of her life." ”
Cui Xuan believes that countless women are experiencing changes in life roles, but the key word is not "end", but "beginning". Being a mom inspires the amazing potential of our lives, especially when faced with challenges.
Sandberg is Facebook's COO, and after her husband's death, as a mom, she must help herself and her children get out of this pain as quickly as possible.
She is constantly learning, paying attention to people in the same situation around her, and supporting and helping them as much as she can, and Sandberg feels that the process is like a positive cycle again and again, making her feel that her strength is recovering.
Women's tenacity is unlimited potential and strength in the body, if a person's soul has a gap, self-worth is low, read more inspirational books, will not really be strong.
Melinda. Gates once advocated that "the promotion of women also enhances all mankind", which is the belief she has cultivated when she sees many "extremely hard" women around her.
Now that the two are divorced, her most beloved career is how to make young and old women close to technology, because technology has influenced and contributed a lot to her.
When you are a mother, you must also remember to be yourself, be brave to do what you have dreamed of for a long time, let go of your hand, and grasp more of the beauty you deserve.
Independence is a woman's eternal capital, which is more reliable than relying on herself. Only by becoming an independent individual can we have a unique life.
The book "Mother's War" uses 34 articles to tell women that it is good to be a mother, but the mother ≠ self-sacrifice, and women can have other better options.
Choose the day you really like, choose what you want, there is no "impossible" in the dictionary.
Try to make yourself strong enough, smart enough competent enough, you will see: the dream is not far away, it is really within reach!