01
I saw such a thing on the Internet: the young man who lives in Hangzhou has three suites at home, one for his own family of three, one for his parents, and one for rent.
One day, his wife consulted with him to let his parents from far away provinces live in Hangzhou for a long time.
The young man thought to himself, the house is pre-marital property, why should I live for my parents-in-law? He couldn't figure it out, so he quarreled with his wife, and it was difficult for him to settle down in a good home.
As a son-in-law, how should you treat your elderly parents-in-law? It is difficult to say this thing, it is easy to say that it is easy, and the key lies in the word "love".
02
Go back to each house, each look for each mother.
Whether it is a son-in-law or a daughter-in-law, they are originally "outsiders", because of marriage, they have brought them into a strange big family.
The ancients said, "The skin of the body is received by its parents." ”
Whoever gives birth to you, you should manage who will retire and send to the end, this is the responsibility and obligation. Filial piety to parents, for thousands of years, is the most iron rule.
But the parents-in-law are different, they don't raise you, they don't have a blood relationship, if you have to manage a tube, it seems to be a substitute. Especially for families that have given birth to sons, it is natural that the sons take up the burden and the son-in-law stands aside.
One of my neighbors, Alain, has two sisters in the family, and she is the older sister. There is also a younger sister, who married far away to the provinces.
When Alain got married, her parents helped her buy a house. This means that she did not marry far away, and she will rely on her for the elderly in the future. Although it is not explicitly said to be "finding a son-in-law", the actual practice proves this.
In the early years, Alain's parents were not too old, and they could manage the citrus groves in their hometown and eat and wear without worry. However, since last year's Spring Festival, parents' diet and living have to be taken care of.
In order to take care of his parents, Alain took his parents to the city. However, Alain's husband, Xiao Bing, said angrily, "Why should our family manage it?" Do you want your parents to go to your younger daughter's house for a year or two? ”
A few words, so that Alain did not know how to be good, can only call his sister, hoping to discuss a long-term solution.
My sister said on the phone: "Mom and Dad helped you buy a house, why don't you care?" Without saying a few words, the phone hung up.
In order to settle his parents, Alain rented a miscellaneous room in the community. Of course, both rent and living expenses are paid by the parents. At the same time, Alain said to the creep, "If you do the first year, don't blame me for doing fifteen." When your parents get old, don't ask me what to do. ”
A couple, the problem of parents' pension, clearly distinguished, looks like a family, but each "cares for the family", no one will give in.
The writer Liu Liu wrote such a scene in the book: the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law tore their faces, and the mother-in-law was very angry, sitting on the ground and playing with lai, calling for the sky and the earth. While crying, the mother-in-law scolded: "Old man, look at the evil son you raised back then, the wings are hard, you married your daughter-in-law and forgot your mother; son, when I first pulled you to grow up, I wanted you to eat when you were hungry, but I didn't expect you to come with the goblins to deal with me..."
As a parent-in-law, if you are looked down upon by your son-in-law, you are almost the same as the above mother-in-law. No matter how many complaints there are in the heart, you can only blame your daughter, not your son-in-law.
It is the common sentiment of people to distinguish between internal and external relatives, and no one can complain about it.
03
Not a family, not a door.
Cartoonist Zhu Deyong once said: "The reason why the mother-in-law chooses everything when choosing a son-in-law is that in addition to finding a home for her daughter, she is also looking for a place for herself." ”
As a parent, watching her daughter get married, her heart is definitely full of mixed feelings, and I also expect my daughter to look back at her mother's family.
According to traditional custom, the daughter who marries out, spills out the water. However, people are sentient animals, and the son-in-law cannot treat his in-laws as outsiders.
Mencius said, "The old man is old, and the man is old; the young man is young, and the man is young." ”
Even the elderly who have no blood relationship need us to take care of it, so why should the parents-in-law leave it alone?
In the Aorite community in Luzhou District, Shanxi, Li Juzhen, a son-in-law in his sixties, gets up early every morning to cook for his eighty-something parents-in-law, prepare medicines for the day, and tidy up his room. Such an action, he insisted for more than a decade.
Ten years ago, my mother-in-law had Alzheimer's disease and was bedridden. Then, my father-in-law suffered from stomach cancer and cerebral infarction, and after some treatment, his condition improved, but he had to rely on a wheelchair to travel, and he could not take care of himself at all.
Speaking of taking care of her parents-in-law, Li Juzhen also blamed herself: "In the early years, I still had to go to work, and I usually didn't take good care of my wife. ”
Every family has a difficult scripture to read. No one can say how to deal with the relationship between family members, but as long as you have love and conscience, then you can accept your parents-in-law and not compare with other siblings.
Actor Shi Xiaohong and Xie Lan have been married for many years, and they respect each other as guests. In a program, Shi Xiaohong said that he thanked his parents-in-law for raising their daughter so well, and for the sake of this family, he was willing to retire and put the family first.
A family, where there is nothing "your mine", only "ours".
Love is ours, children are ours, parents are ours, houses and cars are ours.
04
In the New Book of Tang, guihu chuanshang, it is written: "Once a brother, now a son-in-law, and a half-son." ”
As a son-in-law, she is also half a son; as a daughter-in-law, she should take the initiative to become half a daughter.
Husband and wife, as half of each other's family, then two people together, is "complete, complete."
When a husband and wife get married, they pay attention to the "door to door pair", in other words, it is "half a pound to eight two". If you can understand it this way, you will find that what really rejects one's parents-in-law is not money and material things, but one's own heart and mind.
In a TV series, there is a very confident line: "The labor of the housewife, if converted into adult income, seems to have 180,000 yuan." ”
A woman, bidding farewell to her parents, and starting a family with a strange man, is a great kindness, which cannot be measured by money, but only with feelings.
People are not grass and trees, who can be ruthless? Let those cold rules warm up with feelings.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.