This is the last article of the seven habits of learning, and reviewing a few wonderful fragments of my own feelings is also a learning summary of the seven habits.
What did I learn from the Seven Habits?
"The highest, most beautiful, and sweetest fruit of the seven habits is to work together to unite oneself, lover, friend, and colleague," is enough to reward my efforts to re-read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People in the past few months with a 4.0 perspective.
How does The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People 4.0 differ from previous versions?
Version 4.0 emphasizes the impact and role of the Principles. Principles are external laws of nature that ultimately control the consequences of our actions. Values are intrinsic, subjective, and the strongest feelings that guide our behavior. Values govern people's behavior, while principles govern the consequences of those actions. We need to value principles so that we can achieve what is in front of us while laying the foundation for greater achievements in the future.
What is the logical relationship between the seven habits?
There are three habits of success in the personal sphere (freedom of choice, freedom of choice, freedom of action), then three habits of success in the public sphere (respect, understanding, creation), followed by a habit of complementarity, which adds up to seven habits. The first three habits can be summed up in the phrase "make a promise and keep a promise," while the last three habits can be summed up by "everyone participates in the discussion and works together to develop a solution." The first three habits mean integrity, the last three habits mean loyalty, and they complement each other. Make others trust you instead of liking you.
What is the cultivation order of the seven habits?
Interdependence differs by an order of magnitude in difficulty than independence. Cultivation should go from easy to difficult, from the inside out, and should first achieve success in the personal field, and then achieve success in the public field. This is why we often cultivate habits one, two, and three first, and then cultivate habits four, five, and six, and in actual learning, it may be reverse order learning and positive order cultivation. The most effective way to learn is to teach what you've learned to others, and you can start teaching all seven habits in any one habit, which is like a hologram, and the whole is contained in parts, and parts are contained in the whole.
Is there a sequel to Seven Habits?
There is a complementary eighth habit of the Seven Habits: Find your own voice and inspire others to find their voice. I'm practicing the eighth habit by sharing seven habits in my tweet.
How do you teach your young children the Seven Habits?
Follow the three basic rules of A1bert Schweitzer's education of children: lead by example, lead by example, and lead by example. Only high-performing parents can have high-performance children. Covey's approach: one is to lead by example, the other is to build a relationship full of care and appreciation, and the third is to teach them the simple ideas contained in these habits in the language of children - to help them grasp the basic meaning and vocabulary of the seven habits, to tell them how to use principles to analyze their experiences, and to let them identify specific principles and habits that arise in life.
What is the most moving story in the book?
Another issue that has plagued me for years is Sandra's stubborn preferences. She seems to have an obsession with a certain brand of electrical appliances that I absolutely cannot understand, and she never considers buying other brands of electrical appliances.
Even when we were struggling financially, she insisted on driving 50 miles to the "big cities" to buy the brand's appliances.
This makes me feel very uncomfortable, fortunately this situation only occurs when buying home appliances, but every time it appears, it is a kind of "stimulation" that triggers a fierce "response". It's like a fuse that reminds me of all sorts of worries and triggers a series of unpleasant feelings. I usually run away, again exhibiting "dysfunctional" reclusive behavior. I think the only way to deal with this problem is to shelve it, otherwise I will get out of control and not say anything, and every time I say something bad, I will have to go back and apologize.
Her obsession with the brand wasn't the biggest problem bothering me, and the inexplicable reasons she defended the brand were really hard for me to accept. If she simply admits that her approach is irrational and completely emotional, I can probably tolerate it, but she has repeatedly defended it, which really bothers me.
One day in early spring, we talked about this topic. All previous exchanges have laid the groundwork for this conversation, and the basic rules have been established: first, do not get to the bottom of the matter, and second, shelve the topic if one or both parties feel pain.
I will never forget that day. Instead of going to the beach, we kept going for a ride in the sugar cane fields, probably because we didn't want to look at each other, after all, the problem involved too many psychological contradictions and unpleasant feelings. Although this problem has been lurking for a long time, it is not serious enough to cause the relationship to break down, but when we try to create a good and harmonious relationship, any problem that leads to division cannot be ignored.
The effect of this communication was amazing, it was a real integration of synergies. As if pondering for the first time why she was obsessed with the brand, Sandra spoke of her father, saying that he had worked as a history teacher in middle school for many years before entering the home appliance industry to make ends meet. The recession put him in serious financial trouble, and the only reason he wasn't on the verge of bankruptcy was that the brand's company allowed him to buy on credit.
Sandra and his father's relationship is so deep that when his father, who has been tired for a long day, will lie on the couch as soon as he returns home, while Sandra massages his feet and sings to him, the two of them indulge in such good times every day for many years. Whenever this happened, his father would confess his troubles to Sandra and tell her that he was grateful to the company for allowing him to buy on credit, for which he was grateful. This exchange between father and daughter is natural and straightforward, and the impact is unimaginable. In such a relaxed environment, no mental guard would exist, so his father's words were deeply imprinted on Sandra's subconscious. She may have forgotten all this, until the moment we can communicate freely, the past naturally reappears. I came to realize that Sandra was not talking about appliances, but about her own father, and she was talking about a kind of loyalty—loyalty to his father's wishes. That conversation brought tears to our eyes, not just because of these new discoveries, but also because we respected each other more. We find that seemingly trivial small things often originate from unforgettable emotional experiences, and if you only look at the surface and do not dig into the deep sensitive issues, it is tantamount to trampling on the sacred soil in the other person's heart.
Husband and wife relationship is a very important relationship in our lives, many people have spent a lifetime in entanglement and unhappiness, what we lack is to throw away all inherent prejudices to listen, to understand, to cherish, to love.
Make a little progress every day, and unconsciously let yourself go from excellent to excellent! Make a living during the day, develop at night!
Links to this feature article:
Efficacy Thematic Study - Opening Remarks
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People 4.0 - Mindsets and Principles of Effectiveness
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People 4.0 - The First Habit of Being Proactive
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People 4.0 - The Second Habit "Starts with the End"
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People 4.0 - The Third Habit "First Thing First"
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People 4.0 - The Fourth Habit of "Win-Win Thinking"
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People 4.0 - The Fifth Habit of "Knowing Each Other and Understanding Yourself"
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People 4.0 - The Sixth Habit of "Integration and Synergy"
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People 4.0 - The Seventh Habit "Constantly Updated"
Original Author: I introduce myself