When I moved a few years ago, I packed and threw away the "Reader" magazine that did not fall every three years, leaving only a few special issues at home, and then I never bought it again, and now, Xi'an Newsstand is almost impossible to find, these two days of whim bought two copies online, inexplicably there is a sense of ceremony
The Japanese high-scoring movie "Moving" that I just watched today is also this theme: Lian, who lives with her parents, has always been a happy and happy girl, but this happy day is in the parents constantly arguing, hurting each other, and finally deciding to divorce, When Lian's psychology appeared seriously cracked, racking her brains to let her parents reconcile to save the happiness they had once had, and asking them to return her original life, the result must be futile.
If our suffering is worthless, any vigorous separation of ours is nothing more than a smokey past in which "many things, ancient and modern, are in the midst of ridicule", as it turns out?
The father moved to a new residence, the daughter Lian and her mother lived together, at that time Lian did not realize that her father moved out to live, the pain caused to her, and even on the day of the move, Lian also ran to her father's "new home" to play, curiosity and freshness occupied everything, after all, she was still a child, and the pain needed to come slowly.
Once Lian quarreled with a girl in the class, the two people slapped each other, and finally they became very good friends, as adults we can easily see that this is because of the relationship fit because they "pity each other with the same disease", because their parents are divorced, but Lian does not want to believe, forced to laugh and emphasize that her parents are just separated, although lying, but the friend said that this is actually no difference, the two girls' "mutual complaints" to show the true status quo of each other's family.
Lian, who learned the truth, was furious, locked herself in the bathroom, and had a cold war with her mother outside the door, her father and their friends rushed home, and had a verbal altercation with Lian's mother, and the two of them moved their hands, which heard Lian, who had been silent for a long time, repeated two sentences, "Why are you angry with me?"
When the tattered toy fell down the stairs, my heart was broken.
Fortunately, in the last 40 minutes of the movie, and the most exciting part, the girl began a "spiritual journey" for this loss, she walked through the lively crowd, into the quiet forest, mistakenly into the old man's home, the garden festival scene, lost woods, happy memories in the lake in the dream, let her emotions banish in the unknown world, the intertwining of dreams and reality, the strong contrast between reality and surreal, suddenly there is an unspeakable feeling, Lotus said: "Mom, you can rest assured, I will become an adult as soon as possible!" ”。
Lian saw the scene where she had once laughed with her parents, and at the same time watched herself say goodbye to her disappearing parents.
I don't mind your hurt at all: "Congratulations! "Is this kind of growth a good thing for Lotus?" That's the answer I've been looking for.
"Moving" director Shinji Somi, in 1980 with his debut work "Flying Kapoor" became famous in one fell swoop, especially in the Japanese film industry in the 80s with long shots, the representative works "Naval Uniform and Machine Gun", "Typhoon Club", "Lover's Hotel", Xiangmi long shot has also become a conventional special term, leaving an indelible footprint in the history of Japanese cinema in the 80s, critics call his film a festival film, in each of his works there are celebrations of the youth of boys and girls, all have their portrayal of boiling life.
The first work of the 90s, "Moving House", completely changed the style of the 80s, although it was also a girl as the protagonist, but there was no festival noise and boiling, but full of soft warmth, the daily scenes gave a certain extraordinary meaning, no longer the literary and artistic minority of the lonely self-appreciation, whether it is the Garden Festival, or the "Five Mountains To Send Fire" ceremony, are full of Kyoto's fireworks, a frame of ordinary people and their ordinary under the real dilemma.
What is particularly surprising is that when it is narrated in the tone of the first-person child Lotus, after the dinner with a somewhat strange atmosphere, there is a continuous psychological imbalance, and the tears caused by divorce from parents are intertwined from time to time, and the bitterness and kindness that pervade the film are easy to make people empathetic, and the appeal is no less than that of "The Little Girl Who Sold Matches", although its ending is not written as a tragedy, but instead uses the delicate description of the girl's mind to make the child happy "acceptance" in a surreal way.
Of course, child actor Tomoko Tabata's acting skills are also very good, which is indeed gratifying and hopeful.
Of course, the japanese film's exploration of the "moving" story has never stopped, and Japanese movies are also accustomed to telling us in a surreal way that in the separation of time and again, learn to accept, to grow, Miyazaki's film world is one of the representatives, moving is also healing, full of love everywhere, but also with kindness.
"Spirited Away" also tells a story similar to a moving adventure: Chihiro, a 10-year-old girl, moves from the city to the countryside with her parents, but on the way to the house, the family has an accident and enters a strange world controlled by the witch of the soup house owner, where people who do not work will be turned into animals, thus embarking on her adventure.
"Arieti the Little Man Who Borrowed Things" tells the story of Arieti, a 14-year-old girl who lives 10 centimeters long under the floor, and the story of meeting and cherishing the little boy who moved here: When I met you, I wanted to use my strength to protect you, borrowed sugar, return the heart, your world is my bravest adventure.
In the beautiful movie, we are taught to let go with moving again and again, and to say goodbye to the tears of the past with a beautiful mentality, and our actual moving or being placed on more meaning may also be the pain we will all experience.
Before buying a house, I used to affectionately refer to the place where I lived as "house".
"Did you get to the house?"
"Already back to the house, good night!"
Carefully maintained home, not only a noun, but also a ritual, just like there will always be some special moments in our lives, suitable for the sense of ceremony to "protect", such as new year, birthday, salary, marriage, buy a house, anniversary, etc. In these special moments, we may feel happy or decide to be self-motivated, to earn money, to travel the world.
Moving is also such a moment, from ancient times to the present, from home to abroad, it is a major event in life. There are many relocation customs in various parts of our country, we must carefully choose a zodiac auspicious day, such as moving with a rice tank or rice bucket filled with rice, the bucket is placed in a red paper with "always full", or placed with an envelope of 168 yuan, meaning "all the way", move to buy a new pillow, according to the number of family members, the new pillow is placed on each person's bed.
Hong Kong, Singapore and other places of Chinese, but also in the pillow with envelopes, hidden 138 yuan, take its "lifetime" meaning, on the day of moving must not be angry, must say auspicious words, do auspicious things, do not quarrel with people, especially do not scold children, if you move far away, I am afraid that the water and soil are not satisfied, you can put some hometown rice and dirt in the luggage.
Young people move do not care about these, but also with the New Year, the same birthday, given a new connotation of moving, that is, "rearranging life", often also means to start, but also means to say goodbye to some things in the past, which may be from our subconscious, but do not underestimate the power of the subconscious, seventy or eighty percent of a person's behavior is affected by it.
For me, there is too long time, has been consumed on the wandering road, when I was a child, I was fostered, I wandered around as an adult, I was always moving, countless migrations in various cities in the past few years, moving is a hard job, for a newcomer who has just started to live alone, there is no real concept, anyway, all the luggage is just a suitcase and a few pieces of change of clothes, everywhere you go, you are lightly dressed, you can go, but for some people who have lived alone for a while, Every move is no less than a small battle.
Unless it is really a bag to stay, otherwise anyone will accumulate some discarded unfortunately useless things, to the time of moving the most feel the burden, when the teacher was a child, he warned not to be violent, so it is difficult to change the habit of collecting waste after growing up, day by day, the pit is full of things, large and small, from starting with a duffel bag, to using a moving company to drive a full two trucks of items, there are large beds, sofas, DVDs, and large boxes and large boxes that have always caused workers headaches.
Moving from one city to another, from the south to the north, or from one person's shared home to another's shared home, trying to obtain a stable place to live, and eventually becoming an inner mood knot.
Anxi Street is the last house ever rented, an old building with tall French plane trees outside the window, waking up in the morning, large clusters of leaves in the wind, always thinking it was raining, and then the building was demolished and moved again.
If you have ever been alone, working hard in the city, I believe you will also have the same feelings: every day after work, dragging a tired body home alone, greeting yourself in the darkness of the room, returning home to greet you, it is the darkness in the room, cooking alone is inconvenient and unaffordable, you have to silently order takeaway, meet a bad landlord or neighbor, or a job change, often need to move, a person, dragging a heavy suitcase, just arrived at the first two nights of the new home, always can't sleep.
My cousin was eight months older than me and went to social university at the age of seventeen, often ate alone, shopping, moved, watched movies, carried two large boxes to find a job and a house, I felt that compared to me, I was nothing, slowly accepted loneliness, accepted being alone and slowly enjoyed this feeling is to grow up step by step and become stronger!
My friend laughed at me, saying that I probably took the rat medicine, otherwise how could I have moved three times in five years, and I laughed and said: The genius writer Zhang Ailing has been moving all her life.
When she was nineteen, she said that life was a gorgeous robe covered with lice.
Who would have thought that this aphorism would become a proverb of her later life. After losing her job at Berkeley, her mental state and physical state became worse and worse, three days and two ends accompanied by illness, loneliness and illness became her loyal partners, because she stayed up late all year writing, her eyes bled at every turn; eating was always OK, her stomach and teeth were broken, she felt chased by fleas all the time, the disgust and annoyance in her heart could be imagined, she only had to keep moving, "three moves when one burned", a lot of old things can be thrown away.
Records show that she did not like to buy family property all her life, even her favorite books did not buy, the only book that made her willing to pay for it was "Awakening to the Marriage", she said that because she bought something, it felt like taking root, things grew feet and would tie her up, and the number of times she moved in a few years was so many that she was stunned, often living in one place for less than a week to turn away, always feeling that fleas were like shadows, and her skin was ulcerated.
Xia Zhiqing wrote many letters to her and did not hear back, but then finally came a letter, but it was about the "human-insect war" - the frequency of moving was shocking, in the words of her own letter to Xia Zhiqing, "I have been busy moving in the morning, busy seeing a doctor in the afternoon, and often missing the bus when I come back at night."
At that time, she was already sixty-eight years old, because she often moved, she lost a lot of things outside her body, a person's luggage became very little, basically lost, even all kinds of important documents were not kept, and later some of the remaining photos were written into the "Comparative Record".
Of course, in the succession of moves, the most valuable loss is the manuscript. On December 29, 1986, she said in a letter to Song Qi and his wife: "When inspecting things, I found that only the first draft of the translation of "Flowers on the Sea" was left, many repetitions, and after forty times, none, and the final draft was all lost, except for the retrospective and short english preface. All of a sudden, my soul was scattered, and my feet were soft..."
I don't know how my friends feel after hearing this story, but I always find that the most impovable luggage is myself when I have to move.
Because of moving houses, I didn't want to buy the sofa I liked, and finally I decided to buy a house for myself, at home, put down a soft large sofa coffee table, in this empty room, gradually stuffed with items.
Later, finally because of meeting a man, in order to be with him, he once again left his house, took simple books and clothes, moved into his house, during the day he went to work, I stayed in his house to write, take care of the flowers on the balcony, cook in the kitchen, wash his white shirt.
Sometimes he can finish work very late, I read in the living room, when I feel sad or lonely, I want to go back, it is still just his own home, a room of old-fashioned furniture or quiet and beautiful old-fashioned appearance, perhaps because it is impossible to tell anyone the twists and turns of the heart, it is impossible to dissolve and cannot be explained, just like shame, if there is a house, you can make people drunk, bury their heads and cry, let go of all shame and secrets, it is the real home.
We are married and still have to face separation from time to time.
When I was separated, I remembered the most important words: "Stay down and tell me, did you hear me?" ”
He said, "Definitely, I'll definitely tell you my new address in advance." The child is still young, anyway, next year will be going to a new school. ”
"What about me? Let's just leave her like this? ”
When I think of children, the noise in my head is even louder, if the children are very young now, they know everything, but when they grow up? Does this estranged pain and endless intermittent recurrence like a throwing ball bring the seeds of misfortune into the next cycle?
But the reality is that I have no way to take her to work, put the child in foster parents' home, and then realize another reincarnation, which is not just a departure and a arrival, as in the film, Lian shouted three times, from shouting "Why did you give birth to me?" To "I want to become an adult as soon as possible", until the "congratulations" shouted at the end of the farewell to the distant "self", the difficult transformation was finally completed.
The psychological rift caused by moving to children is not so much a migration of life as a great and affectionate farewell, and we must adapt our lives to this parting.
When we were young, Lotus, Chihiro, and when we grew up, whether it is fiction or reality, we will meet demons and ghosts on the way to move again and again, and we will also meet love and surprises, such as cute and warm faceless men and white dragons, and every time we move, we are moving forward, feeling the love from the world in tearing, feeling our bravery and growth.
On the contrary, if it is only treated as a series of sufferings, then the hard life is even more dark and sad, just as the poorer the people, the more they need joy and enthusiasm, so the more difficult the labor, the more enthusiastically celebrated: moving is not only a departure and an arrival, but also an important ceremony, even if it represents a separation, because we always move around in this way, slowly to find a home, and every day of searching, it must be wonderful and interesting
Qin Nan girl original, please pay attention to ~
#搬家心得 #