The rain hit the banana leaves, and it took a few more nights. And the coughing sound of the third sister who was mentally ill next door was continuous.
My heart is so tired, time flies, my sister has been mentally ill for more than 30 years, and my parents have long passed away. After my parents passed away, my third sister, who had no ability to take care of herself, followed me all the time.
Carefully calculated that my mother passed away in 2009, my father passed away in 2015, my sister followed me for six years, the previous few years were fine, I did not have a second child, in 2019, I gave birth to my second baby at the age of 44, this life is completely chaotic, the family discussed it, decided to send her to Anding Hospital, but my sister is not willing to go to Anding Hospital. Having been there before and going there is equivalent to being separated from your loved ones. So she didn't want to go. But if she didn't go, there was no one to take care of her. My eldest sister and second sister couldn't do the work for her.
I will always remember which day, the ninth day after childbirth, my post-caesarean section wound is still faintly painful, 11️ the weather is already very cold, I wore a woolen hat bought from the Internet, put on a thick coral woolen clothes, ready to go to the house to do ideological work for her, my family asked me several times, go out is not OK, I am resolute to say yes, because I know, my third sister is very trusting of me. Then the family and I rushed to the house by car, the third sister came to open the door, saw my moment, her eyes lit up, in a fully awake tone said, "Sister, you are all right", I felt a sour heart, but I knew that I had to smile strongly. I glanced at the house, the original neat home, has been a mess, pots and pans willfully lying everywhere, the original bare floor, dust hibernating on it! Opening her room, a strange smell flew over our faces, and I covered my nose and endured the pain of the wound.
I asked her to sit down, and my family was busy tidying up the house. I said to my third sister in a firm tone: "Sister, you know that the fourth sister has a baby, an elderly mother, now there is no time to take care of you, you don't think too much, you go to the Anding Hospital first, where someone cooks for you to eat, there are also people who give you medicine on time, you rest assured, after the full moon of the sister, you must pick you up, this is the sister's promise to you", she very reluctantly lowered her head, I looked firmly and said: "Don't think about it, go today"! She looked at me, I know my appearance, my face is swollen, because there has been no rest after giving birth , very gaunt, dressed like a penguin. In this way, I braved the cold weather to accompany her to the Stable Hospital and promised to pick her up. She should have been touched, after all, she still hurt me a lot.
Then I saw her enter her room, packing up her things, not far from the Anding Hospital, half an hour away.
We registered in the hospital janitor's room, and then had to go to the hospital office to go through the formalities, and several staff members looked at me in surprise, and I hurried to explain to them that they had a baby. Dressed like this, as soon as they heard about it on the ninth day, they were so frightened that they quickly asked me to sit by the fire and sign. His mouth kept saying, "It's too scary, it's too scary!"! I silently completed the formalities and handed over my sister's supplies to the staff, at this time someone came to take my sister into the hospital, my sister kept looking back at me, I turned my head hurriedly, and the tears fell without controversy. Afraid that others would see it, he hurriedly pulled his hat down.
Everything was done, I walked out of the hospital with my family, my heart was blocked, there was a toilet next to me, I hurriedly said to the family, I want to go to the toilet. As soon as I entered the toilet, my tears couldn't stop flowing, and I asked myself, why are tears so easy to fall, is it during the birth of a baby, emotional vulnerability? Or is it the uneasiness about the fate of the sister, is it too deep affection for the sister? Or the uneasiness that she left her loved ones. There is no answer...
Later I made good on my promise and took her out. My family worked in another city, I was alone with a baby, and I had to manage the food and drink of my sick sister, and these two years were really tiring.
During this period of time, the cold current struck, the weather gradually became colder, and the frail sister fell ill again, although I took pains to take care of her, but she did not know the cold and heat, wear a little when it was cold, and wear a lot when it was hot. I have to pay attention to what she wears every day, and I have to tell her how to wear it so as not to get cold. But when she fell ill, she couldn't listen to anyone's words, and the other day she had a whim and quietly drank coffee behind my back for several days. As a result, for several days in a row, three times in the middle of the night, I did not sleep, wearing thin underwear and walking around the house, Nagging in my mouth, not knowing what to say. I was tired with the baby one day, and I got up twice to persuade her to sleep, but it was ineffective, and I knew that I was in trouble again.
Alas, she was ill, and as expected, I had taken her medicine and injections for almost ten consecutive days, and it was still not good.
I've been thinking that people live to find the meaning of life, and where is the meaning of life for my sister, or a group of people like my sister?
My eldest son is already a junior in college, we have to call once a day to communicate about each other's situation, my son often says: "Mom, you are my spiritual pillar, I love you very much", you have to pay attention to the body! The youngest son is almost two years old, and it is very hard to see him grow every day, but watching him grow up day by day, his liveliness and cuteness also make me very happy.
And me, what is the meaning of my life? Perhaps, the meaning of life is different in every person, every day, every moment!
I'm in agreement with "Victor. Frankl's words: "Suffering itself is meaningless, but we can give it meaning through our own reactions to suffering, love is the highest goal of human lifelong pursuit, and salvation of mankind is through love and being loved"!
I was tired in the face of my sick loved ones... But I kept at it...