The following is a mother's personal experience of handling children's beatings, which feels good and can be referred to for reference.
Children beat people, grab toys I have been mad because of this problem, out of anger, compromise, sad and tearful, and finally successfully and children through this sensitive period, but I have taken a lot of detours, so today I want to record the past with words to share my past with you.
(2010) In the blink of an eye, the child is one and a half years old and running all over the place. Watching him grow up I was not only happy but also worried. Every day I take my children to play in the grass on campus, where the sunny air is fresh and the children are gathered, and the children are happy to play together, and we mothers also chat and share parenting experience.
Scene reproduction: Today came a mixed-race little brother, Yao Yao happily ran forward, snatched away people's toys, and did not forget to slap the face of his brother who was half a head taller than him, and suddenly the howling cry attracted everyone's eyes to the past, I quickly became a firefighter: I'm really sorry Oh, my brother xiao doesn't understand things, he hit people wrong, aunt apologizes to you, does it hurt? In exchange for the tears on the faces of the beaten children and the blank eyes of the parents. There were other mothers with different expressions and whispers, and I had an embarrassed expression and chased after Yao Yao to ask for the toys to return to the family. Then forcibly take my child away.
Along the way I wondered: How did he do this? How should we be educated?
This is indeed a problem: or that sentence to solve the problem of children first solve their own problems
First of all, we must fight a battle of preparation: knowing oneself and knowing the other side can win every battle, first find out the child's situation: my approach is to read books, read newspapers, check the Internet, post for help, and there will be results immediately:
For 1-2-year-old children, aggressive behavior is very common, sometimes children hit people can not see any reason, so some children are happy to hit people and bite people, they often have a playful psychology to test their own ability to act, or test the reaction of adults, after beating people they wait to see the "good play", for him to beat people is a major experiment ongoing.
In addition, children beat people also have strong emotional factors in it, think about the world in which the child lives at the age of 1, you will find that the baby is mastering a variety of new skills every day, encountering various things that they are not familiar with, so beating people has become a way for children to express frustration or complex emotions after bearing the blow.
The second is to hit people because they can't express themselves in words: from the age of 4 to the time the child's toy is snatched, he will say: Give it back to me! 1-year-old children can't speak, don't know what to do, so they use fists instead of language, and 1- and 2-year-olds don't realize that hitting people will hurt others, even if adults tell him it will hurt, such a big child has no self-control.
Workaround:
1, first keep calm, when you make an example, the child will learn from you to be patient in the urgent moment
2, express your thoughts and feelings, care about the beaten child, explain to the beaten child that the beating has hurt others, tell him that the beaten child is very painful, the child's parents are also very sad, let him know the consequences of adults
3. Mandatory apology is not advisable, parents can take the initiative to apologize to the beaten child, indicating that the care effect is good
4. It is recommended that children replace hitting people with the correct other way.
5. Praise your child's positive behavior and encourage him to do the right thing
6, reciprocating cycle, will be successful!
After studying, of course, I have to think, and I have done a review myself:
1, Yao Yao 7, 8 months, unconscious pronunciation: DA, DA, we strengthened this tone, always find it interesting to follow Yao Yao to learn, but also encourage laughter.
2, Yao Yao is 10 months old, when playing, a little sister ran over and scratched him in the face, and the sister's grandmother used the call to educate. But I told Yao Yao when he didn't return to God's child: My sister is teasing you to play, the first time I faced other children to beat people, I made an incorrect explanation, although Yao Yao can't speak, but my words added the most primitive mark to his future understanding: hitting people is playing.
3, the child before the age of one year mother-in-law to help me bring, mother-in-law has a habit of greeting others: pat the shoulder of acquaintances, this is also to tell him: hitting people is a way to say hello.
4, my husband and I will also fight in front of the children, this is a bad demonstration of family education, the child summed up under the concept of Article 2: Hitting people is an expression of affection or like
After the birth of the child 1-2 years old exploration ability is the strongest, a lot of new information so that his growth slowly has a high-level emotions, but also bring him a sense of confusion, do not know how to correctly express their feelings, so some children are happy will also hit people, bite, and even hit people for no reason.
This is particularly evident in Yao Yao.
Knowing the reason for the problem, I can't help but sigh again: it turns out that the child has so many secrets hidden in him, and I feel guilty for my ignorance: the child's problem is only one: this is the only way for him to grow, and there are as many as 4 problems from our adults. More than that, I once regretted that I had fought violence with violence, but it was good that it was not too late, and I quickly solved it before leaving a shadow on my child.
Later, when there was a similar beating incident, I also coped with it freely: the child was happy and I was happy, the child slowly became confident and communicative, and the language expression ability was strengthened.
Me: You're happy to see your little brother, aren't you? Would love to play with him?
Yao Yao nodded: Yes. (1 and a half years old Yao Yao can still speak simple words)
Me: Then the next time you see a kid you like, say: Play, and then hold hands. The effect is still very good.
My way to grab the toy is to communicate with the child first and show understanding of his feelings, and then tell him the correct solution:
Me; are you trying to play with your brother's toys?
Yao Yao: Nod,
Me: Then you go over and say to him: Let me play, (can't say so many words can let the child use their own toys to exchange or parents take the child to say, generally will be successful, as long as there is a successful experience the child will learn, slowly they will learn the experience of getting along with others).
This is a funny scene that happened when Yao Yao was 1 year old and 7 months old. Who would have thought to be a "violent kid" a month ago?
: Look at my serial meter
First count: pretend to be a little pitiful: longing + poor eyes
Second Count: Request Method: Can You Let Me Play It?
After not succeeding, immediately ran over to get the toy
The third plan: the inducement method: exchange with toys
The other party is also a 2-year-old child Oh,
Fourth plan: People don't want Yao Yao to use the usual "sugar-coated shells", this trick does not work here.
Although I didn't change it, I was also very happy.
Good understanding of the child's child's heart, in order to better love our children, from time to time to look back at the road we have traveled, the harvest will be more...
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