Foreign media: Independent thinking and independent decision-making are indispensable processes for cultivating children's "strong hearts"

Source: Global Times

Newsweek (Japanese version) website November 4 article, the original title: "parent gacha" is a warning from children, because of the difference in educational ability Recently, I often hear the word "parent gacha". It is to point out what kind of family to be born into is not something you can choose, just like playing gacha is all about luck. Recently, many young Japanese people have used the term to complain about their parents, blaming their parents for their "incompetence" for unsatisfactory life. It has been argued that the reason the term "parent gacha" is popular among young Japanese is that the "family economic gap" is widening.

I have analyzed and compared the educational environment of Japanese, American and Chinese families, and there is undoubtedly an "educational gap" between children based on the economic strength of parents. That is to say, the better the economic conditions of the family, the better the environment in which the child receives education. But to say that children born into wealthy families are winners of "parental gacha", it would be a big mistake.

After the financial crisis in 1997, South Korea set off a "study abroad fever". With the affluent class, it has become a trend for children to study in English-speaking countries. As a result, south Korea had 293 students enrolled in 2013, second only to China (722) and Canada (568). But unexpectedly, 44 percent of South Korean students studying at top U.S. universities dropped out. Why?

I studied English as my parents said, and studied abroad to meet my parents' expectations, but after being admitted to the world's top university that my parents wanted, I lost my way and lost my enthusiasm for further study. This is known as the "burn-out syndrome" phenomenon. America's top universities gather talent from all over the world, and admission is difficult and graduation is even more difficult. After graduation, the competition with the world's elites becomes more intense. Children of wealthy families receive a high-quality education, but they are also involved in high-level competition. If parents are attracted to "education (children)" and ignore their children's "psychological education", then one day their children will be unable to bear it after encountering setbacks.

In order to survive in modern society, children need a "strong heart". What is needed to cultivate a "strong heart" is not money, nor is it the education and occupation of parents, but the way of education. Only by allowing children to feel accomplished and recognized in the process of growing up can they enhance their subjective initiative and self-confidence. Children who believe that "they can do it themselves" will have the courage to face difficulties and dare to try new things.

Therefore, "parents' egg-twisting" is not an excuse for children who do not want to work hard and give up on themselves. Rather, I think it's a warning to a growing number of parents trying to control their lives and ignore "psychoeducation." Nowadays, among young people in Japan, the reason for the popularity of "parents' gacha" is that many parents instill prejudiced concepts into their children, such as "poverty means failure in life" and "only by entering a big company can life be successful". Parents do not need to envy "other people's children", nor do they need to force their children to get ahead, but they need to respect their children's true ideas and constantly explore their interests and talents.

Respecting your child's wishes does not mean letting them go. If a child is noisy in a public place, breaks the rules, or does something that should not be done, then the parent must be harshly criticized. But at this time, the focus is still on allowing children to make the right choices on their own. Allowing children to think independently, make decisions independently, and accumulate experience after independent decisions is an indispensable process for cultivating children's "strong hearts". (Translated by Funazu Tsutomu and Song Yi)