孩子到叛逆期了，寒假作業亂寫，怎麼辦？得有邊界！

孩子可以叛逆，但前提是在邊界内叛逆。

而規矩，就是邊界。

規矩沒立好，後面就比較難辦。

寒假作業亂寫、學習不認真都屬于學習的規矩沒立好。

立規矩最好的時機是孩子小時候，還有現在。

如果規矩沒立好，現在開始也不晚——現在着手，以後受益，不去努力，以後煩惱。

那具體如何立規矩？且往下看。

首先，跟孩子商量着來

不能我們單方面确定，不然就成了我們使用權力指令孩子，孩子肯定會反對權威，到時候會有拉鋸，是以要跟孩子商量。

可以跟孩子說：

為了幫助你更好地養成學習習慣，咱定一些規則貼到學習桌上，爸媽不用反複提醒你，也省得你煩了，時間長了你能夠管理自己，就會更有成就感。規矩不會我單方面說了算，咱們可以商量。

通常情況下，孩子不會反對立規矩，但他們對立什麼樣的規矩很介意，因為這關系到自己的切身利益嘛，這就要跟孩子反複商量了，商量不通再商量，直到雙方通過。

其次，規矩要符合孩子現階段能力和現階段需求

不要把期望盲目加在孩子身上，比如超過全班第一名，如果你娃是第二名還行，平時中不溜都不能，你有點奢望了，不符合孩子現階段能力。

專注學習1小時，也不适合大部分國小生，誰也不會一個小時不走神。

而把桌面收拾幹淨再學習，每天認真做完數學任務就是國小生能做到的。

大家根據家孩子具體情況來評估，在這裡要注意：

不要高估孩子，不要隻看到自己的期待和願景，這樣會讓你們的規矩很難，孩子做不到。

依據實際情況來定，孩子不容易反感，做到了也有成就感。

符合現階段需求是不能把未來太遠的事兒放到眼巴前兒。

這寒假作業還沒寫完呢，你計劃暑假的事兒，孩子容易不知是以。

最後，規矩要簡單、具體、可操作。

這一步是最難的，大家都知道要認真寫作業，但怎樣做、做什麼才能保證“認真”二字呢？

如何把“我想要”變成具體的行動步驟，這是個學問。

這裡提供幾個參考：

每次任務量要清晰

任務量要清楚，不宜太多。

太多了，孩子會感覺壓力山大，你要寫就認認真真，一次可以少寫點，但是态度要對。是以說規定一個孩子能認真完成的恰當的量。

定時，比如幾點開始寫作業

具體時間你們自己定，但必須定時，定時就是個儀式，從這個點開始沒有拖延，沒有玩耍，沒有雜事，寫作業這個動作要開始了，儀式有心理上的确定作用。

桌面幹淨整齊

收拾幹淨再做作業，亂糟糟的絕對占用人的心神，不用懷疑。

作業期間專心專注，不戴耳機，休息期間可辦雜事

字迹工整

這點是為了保證孩子認真細緻。

坐直坐正，就當老師在眼前

這一招很管用，當身體端正姿态擺好，外部動作能帶動精神，這在心理學上叫具身認知。

你看，上面這些就是具體可操作的規矩，而單單說你要認真是很籠統的，孩子其實隻知道認真這個概念，并不明白具體要如何做。

當然，你們可以訂自己的規矩，不過一定要具體可行。

另外，定好規矩後，貼在家裡顯眼的地方，剛開始孩子記不住可以提醒一下，時間長了讓孩子自己去操作。

不遵守規矩，孩子要有代價，具體代價家長自己跟孩子商議後确定。

但不能太過嚴厲又打又罵的絕對不行，這又是權力現場了，家長要和善堅定。

代價是不能玩遊戲或扣掉零花錢，我們之前說過了。我不吵你，按規矩辦事。

一次不要确定太多的規矩，多了你亂孩子也亂，一次3－5條，孩子内化後再慢慢增加，也可以根據孩子學習的不同階段，定不同的規矩。

寒假作業不好好做，可以現在就開始立規矩，現學現用。

哪怕最後作業可能完不成，沒關系，但要求孩子有一個好的學習态度，認認真真的去做自己的學業任務。

這就是我的見解了，謝謝閱讀，再見。

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