01
One day, Xiao Ming asked his father, "Dad, where did I come from?" and his father thought for a while and replied, "You got it from my phone bill delivery activity." Xiao Ming was stunned for a moment, and then said with a smile: "Then I'm not very valuable, after all, the phone bill is so expensive!"
Image source network | Invasion and deletion
02
The teacher asked in class, "Who knows what is the deepest trench in the world?" Xiao Ming raised his hand and replied, "I know, it's the teacher's eye bags!" The class burst into laughter, and the teacher shook his head helplessly.
Image source network | Invasion and deletion
03
Xiao Wang went to get a haircut, and the barber asked him, "What kind of haircut do you want?" Xiao Wang thought for a while and replied, "I want to cut a hairstyle that will make me look smarter." The barber smiled and said, "Then you may need to shave your head, because smart heads don't grow hair!"
Image source network | Invasion and deletion
04
Last night I had a dream in which I was told by Platinum Star that I was actually a monkey. Today I did so and ate all the peaches at home, and my mother actually beat me and said that I was not stupid enough to dare to eat the peaches she bought for my dad!
Image source network | Invasion and deletion
05
The teacher asked, "If there was a robot that could help you with the work, would you still complain about the hard life?" Xiao Ming: "Of course! Then I have to complain about why there is only one robot!"
06
A brother bought eye drops, went home and ordered two drops, closed his eyes and rolled his eyes, opened his eyes, it was pitch black, and suddenly he couldn't see anything.
Oh my God, what kind of eye drops are you buying? Two drops blind! He fell out of his chair and kicked the table over, crying.
At this time, his wife scolded on the side: "I'm getting more and more nervous, a power outage scares you like this!"
Image source network | Invasion and deletion
07
Yesterday I went to the master and told him that I would live to be 98 years old or even longer.
After the calculation, I rode my battery bike home, and the ride was called a cheerful one, regardless of the traffic light.
Life is long, it's so capricious!
The master is desperately chasing after him: It doesn't count as his own death!!
08
In these years, what is an Apple mobile phone, what is a brand-name clothing, and luxury cars and mansions are out. What is the best way to show off your wealth now? It is to stand with your peers, you are like little fresh meat, and she is like an old potato.
Image source network | Invasion and deletion
09
Every industry has its own risks, and today we recommend one of the safest industries: the tofu industry is the safest!
If it is hard, it is dried tofu, if it is thin, it is tofu brain, if it is thin, it is tofu skin, if it is gone, it is soy milk, and if it is stinky and smelly, it is stinky tofu!
Absolutely sure to make a profit and not lose it!
10
When I came home for the holidays, my mother bought me a box of Wang Laoji for me to drink. I said I'm not on fire, why are you buying this? She said that at such an old age, can you not be on fire? I see you are all on fire!
11
Last night I had a dream that my house had become a zoo, and a donkey came running to me and wanted to be my pet. When I woke up in the morning and thought it might be an omen, I rushed to the lottery station and bought a lottery ticket, and the result was ...... It seems that the pet that the donkey said is five dollars!
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Image source network | Invasion and deletion
12
Today I met a centenarian downstairs, and when I saw him sitting alone, I went up and asked, "Uncle, why don't you go and play chess with those uncles at the door?"
As a result, the uncle said, "What's so fun with those sixty or seventy-year-old kids!"
Image source network | Invasion and deletion
13
Teacher: Xiao Ming, your problem is that you use inappropriate words, now I test you, and use an idiom to describe the teacher is very happy. Xiao Ming: Laughing at Jiuquan. Teacher: You'd better get out of here......