不吐不快 | 都别慌，国足可能在下一盘大棋！

小组赛三连平出线夺冠，这剧本我看过！

先来关注亚洲杯赛场。上周六，国足迎来了亚洲杯小组赛首个对手，排名世界第106位的塔吉克斯坦。虽然比赛中国足进球被吹在赛后引发了诸多争议，但抛开这个被吹掉的进球不谈，比赛中国足的表现实在是难以让人满意。上半场开场30分钟，两队射门数竟然是0比10，一度被对手压制。

也不怪网友揶揄：看对面球员的球衣和他们的长相，我们踢的对手一定是亚洲劲旅伊朗队！

塔吉克斯坦队主帅在亚洲杯开赛前接受采访时还说，中国队输给中国香港队一定是故意的，想要迷惑我们。结果交手了才发现，原来你不是故意的啊！

就连塔吉克斯坦队员都在赛后表示遗憾：我们没有进球，很多机会没有把握住，我们丢掉了3分……可不是丢了3分嘛，毕竟塔吉克斯坦2比1中国香港，中国香港2比1国足……你不遗憾谁遗憾？

到了小组赛第二轮，国足跟世界排名第107的黎巴嫩又踢出了一场0比0的平局，虽然又没能进球，但往好了想，小组赛前两轮一球未失，也是不错的成绩嘛。

本场赛前在播报双方首发名单时，还闹出了乌龙，张玉宁的照片竟然放成了黎巴嫩球员的照片……

好么，原来国足前锋有个卧底，怪不得一直进不了球呢！

小组赛两战积2分，国足想要出线，最后一轮至少要打平提前出线的卡塔尔才行。如果拿到三连平的成绩，有很大可能以成绩最好的小组第三出线，就像2016年欧洲杯的葡萄牙一样。不过当年葡萄牙最后可是拿了冠军的，难道国足……

再来关注一下日本队的比赛。日本队本次亚洲杯启用混血铃木彩艳出任首发门将，这位带有黑人血统的门将在场上的表现，总是能让人想起一位老朋友。

奥纳纳你不是去踢非洲杯了吗？怎么还来亚洲踢亚洲杯了？

篮球球迷：起猛了，看见八村塁去守门了！

而据罗马诺去年夏天爆料，曼联曾有意引进铃木彩艳，但铃木彩艳担心缺少出场机会，拒绝了邀请……怎么曼联就偏爱脱手型门将吗？

正牌奥纳纳在参加完曼联与热刺的比赛后为了赶上非洲杯小组赛首场比赛，乘坐私人飞机火速飞往喀麦隆去国家队报到。结果国家队主帅却没有把奥纳纳放入比赛名单中……

奥纳纳对此非常生气，不让我踢首场比赛你倒是早说啊，我就不坐私人飞机来了。私人飞机的费用喀麦隆足协能给报了么？

而到了第二轮小组赛，终于首发出战的奥纳纳全场0扑救，对手三次射正打入三球，喀麦隆1比3输球……

上周末，租借回到多特获得食堂就餐权的桑乔在德甲比赛中替补登场，并助攻罗伊斯破门得分，帮助球队取胜。而此前4个月，桑乔一直被下放曼联青年队，连比赛都没得踢，结果只用了22分钟上场时间，就超越了安东尼本赛季的进攻数据（0球0助）。

而曼联这边，则在本轮英超中迎战强敌热刺，结果被热刺2比2逼平。好消息是中锋霍伊伦再度收获进球，而且还为拉什福德送上了一次助攻。适应了半个赛季，终于找到感觉了。而另一边的安东尼嘛，替补登场后，3次触球，贡献2次失误外加1次回传……

滕哈赫：我半张脸逐渐消肿，另外半边却是越来越肿了。

维尔纳回归英超后的首秀，便为队友送上助攻。但侦察机毕竟还是侦察机，在射门数据方面，维尔纳5次射门全部偏出，6次身体对抗更是无一成功……

曼城上轮迎战纽卡斯尔，堪称“油爹大战”。虽然纽卡在上半场一度以2比1领先，但随着瓜迪奥拉打出德布劳内这张牌，纽卡就只能眼睁睁看着3分变0分了。

复出首战贡献传射，健康的德布劳内回来了，英超各队颤抖吧！

周一凌晨，西超杯决赛再迎国家德比。本以为能看到一场势均力敌的较量，没想到看到了一场一边倒的比赛。

维尼修斯半场戴帽，成为首位代表皇马出战在国家德比中上演帽子戏法的巴西人。

对巴萨来说，场面过于绝望，哈维和拉波尔塔都麻了。

不知道巴萨球迷们在看到下面这张图时，会是怎样的一种心情。

皇马19岁小将马里奥·马丁随队出征了本次西超杯的比赛，虽然没有上场，但还是获得了一枚冠军奖牌。而这已经是他随皇马拿到的第三个冠军了。上赛季由于伤病潮影响，马里奥·马丁被上调一线队，随队参加世俱杯。虽然没有上场，但依然获得了一枚冠军奖牌；上赛季的国王杯皇马夺冠，马里奥·马丁因为在四分之一决赛对阵马竞的比赛中出场过5分钟，也获得了一枚冠军奖牌。也就是说，马里奥·马丁一共代表皇马一线队踢了5分钟比赛，就拿了3个冠军……凯恩：都别@了，我已经销号了！

本周二，国际足联公布了2023世界足球先生得主，梅西当选。奖项一公布，就引发无数议论。要知道，2023世界足球先生评选周期并不包括2022世界杯，但在投票当中，仍有很多国家队主教练以及国家队队长将票投给了梅西……

好好的世界足球先生奖项变成了人气奖，不少网友调侃到：2048年，60岁的梅西再度夺得世界足球先生。

可能也是觉得自己不该拿这个奖，梅西甚至都没有到颁奖典礼现场。而排名第二的哈兰德和排名第三的姆巴佩也同样缺席颁奖典礼。为了缓解尴尬，主持人亨利不得不代为领奖。

亨利：我只是来主持的，代领奖的费用国际足联事后给报一下，我去凑发票。

来关注一下意甲赛场。由于近来战绩不佳，联赛排名滑落到第九，罗马解雇了球队主帅穆里尼奥。穆里尼奥终究没能逃过穆三年魔咒，这次执教罗马的时间，定格在了两年半。等等……两年半？

有的教练带队排名联赛第九被解雇，有的教练带队排名联赛中游依然稳坐钓鱼台。你曾经带队拿过联赛冠军又怎样？如今来到这个球星云集的联赛，不还是一直无法证明自己的执教水平？没错，说的就是你——杰拉德！让我看看是谁汗流浃背了？（滕哈赫：勿cue）

人家杰拉德带队俩月就赢了一场比赛，结果还跟达曼协作续约两年，而鲁尼带伯明翰2胜3平9负却被解雇。真是没有对比就没有伤害。对了，自从解雇鲁尼后，伯明翰已经3场不败了……

好了，今天的不吐不快就到这里，咱们下期再见！

文|肥猫

编辑|肥猫

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#10aeff;--weui-INDIGO: #1196ff;--weui-PURPLE: #8183ff;--weui-WHITE: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-LINK: #7d90a9;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #259c5c;--weui-FG: #fff;--weui-BG: #000;--weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .05)}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px){body:not(.pages_skin_pc) .wx-root,body:not(.pages_skin_pc) body{--appmsgExtra-BG: #F7F7F7}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px){body:not(.pages_skin_pc) .wx-root[data-weui-theme=dark],body:not(.pages_skin_pc) body[data-weui-theme=dark]{--weui-BG-0: #111;--weui-BG-1: #1e1e1e;--weui-BG-2: #191919;--weui-BG-3: #202020;--weui-BG-4: #404040;--weui-BG-5: #2c2c2c;--weui-FG-0: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-FG-HALF: rgba(255, 255, 255, .6);--weui-FG-1: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-FG-2: rgba(255, 255, 255, .3);--weui-FG-3: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-FG-4: rgba(255, 255, 255, .15);--weui-FG-5: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-RED: #fa5151;--weui-ORANGERED: #ff6146;--weui-ORANGE: #c87d2f;--weui-YELLOW: #cc9c00;--weui-GREEN: #74a800;--weui-LIGHTGREEN: #3eb575;--weui-BRAND: #07c160;--weui-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-INDIGO: #1196ff;--weui-PURPLE: #8183ff;--weui-WHITE: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-LINK: #7d90a9;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #259c5c;--weui-FG: #fff;--weui-BG: #000;--weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .05)}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px){body:not(.pages_skin_pc) .wx-root[data-weui-theme=dark],body:not(.pages_skin_pc) body[data-weui-theme=dark]{--appmsgExtra-BG: #121212}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px){body:not(.pages_skin_pc)body:not(.pages_skin_pc){background:#191919;background:var(--weui-BG-2)}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px) and (prefers-color-scheme:dark){body:not(.pages_skin_pc) .wx-root[data-weui-mode=care]:not([data-weui-theme=light]),body:not(.pages_skin_pc) body[data-weui-mode=care]:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--weui-BG-0: #111;--weui-BG-1: #1e1e1e;--weui-BG-2: #191919;--weui-BG-3: #202020;--weui-BG-4: #404040;--weui-BG-5: #2c2c2c;--weui-FG-0: rgba(255, 255, 255, .85);--weui-FG-HALF: rgba(255, 255, 255, .65);--weui-FG-1: rgba(255, 255, 255, .55);--weui-FG-2: rgba(255, 255, 255, .35);--weui-FG-3: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-FG-4: rgba(255, 255, 255, .15);--weui-FG-5: rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-RED: #fa5151;--weui-ORANGERED: #ff6146;--weui-ORANGE: #c87d2f;--weui-YELLOW: #cc9c00;--weui-GREEN: #74a800;--weui-LIGHTGREEN: #3eb575;--weui-BRAND: #07c160;--weui-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-INDIGO: #1196ff;--weui-PURPLE: #8183ff;--weui-WHITE: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-LINK: #7d90a9;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #259c5c;--weui-FG: #fff;--weui-BG: #000;--weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .05)}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px) and 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rgba(250, 157, 59, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .05)}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px) and (prefers-color-scheme:dark){body:not(.pages_skin_pc) .wx-root:not([data-weui-theme=light]),body:not(.pages_skin_pc) body:not([data-weui-theme=light]){--appmsgExtra-BG: #121212}}@media(prefers-color-scheme:dark){body:not([data-weui-theme=light]).my_comment_empty_data{background-color:#111}}body,.wx-root{--weui-BG-6: rgba(0, 0, 0, .05);--weui-ACTIVE-MASK: rgba(0, 0, 0, .05)}body,.wx-root{--weui-FG-1: rgba(0, 0, 0, .5);--weui-REDORANGE: #ff6146;--weui-BG-0: #ededed;--weui-BG-1: #f7f7f7;--weui-BG-2: #fff;--weui-BG-3: #f7f7f7;--weui-BG-4: #4c4c4c;--weui-BG-5: #fff;--weui-FG-0: rgba(0, 0, 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