I am 32 years old, married for three years, my husband is a small clerk of a public institution, his personality is somewhat introverted, the family concept is very conservative, do things conform to stereotypes, do not understand romance, but he is indeed a suitable man for life, every day in addition to going to work is to buy vegetables, cooking, but also always take the initiative to do housework, also considerate to me, I said I love to eat beef jerky, he learned to use the rice cooker to make beef jerky on the Internet, not to say whether the taste is good or not, to make me feel very warm.
Originally, I thought that this life would be like this, having a child and living a good life, and I would be happy, but just last March, in the WeChat group of our college classmates, I contacted him.
His name is Zhou Jiangyong, the object of my fantasies in college, when I was in school, I fantasized about being with him, but because at that time, he was very popular with female classmates, and he never broke his girlfriend, I have always been a small transparent person around him.
So after contact last year, I had another ripple in my heart, and I learned in the chat that he now works and lives in Zhengzhou, Henan, and has not been married, and during that time he just broke up with his girlfriend, the mood was relatively low, I didn't know what was wrong, I just wanted to see him, even if it was sitting face to face. So in May, I went to Zhengzhou with a ghost, and I really didn't know where the driving force came from.
Nearly ten years have not seen, at the beginning of each other some restraint, tasteless small talk, when it comes to my marriage, I actually cried inexplicably, it seems that I have lived a very miserable life, in fact, I do not know why, not because of their unhappiness, may be because of the person I married, can not make me passionate, my home and the ideal city in my heart there is a gap, the heart can not help but feel some grievances.
Later we ate together, and then went to the mall together, I remember very well, there I also bought a Bluetooth headset, naturally went to the hotel together at night, in the room we hugged and kissed, but there was no relationship, just at the last moment I pushed him away, he did not insist anymore.
For my husband, frankly, I am not very fond of it, but because I am older, my parents are anxious, I went on a blind date, met my husband, and felt that the conditions for each other were still matched, and I could live together, probably most people's marriages are like this.
In fact, I also know that even if I marry this male classmate, I may not be happy, I know that the more I don't get it, the more I am obsessed with it, and once I get it, it will be tasteless. What's more, this male classmate could not marry me, and he would not marry me before.
I am now confused about whether to tell my husband about this experience of cheating, in front of him I always feel a little guilty, not frank enough, like the feeling of pressing a stone in my heart, very uncomfortable. But if you tell him, with my husband's character, it will definitely not be acceptable, and may divorce me, because the in-laws are also the kind of honest people, and there is no divorced person in the whole family, and cheating is simply not forgiven in this family.
I am actually a very peaceful woman, the previous love experience is also very small, and the male classmate in the future life, it is estimated that we will not see each other again, because he is far away in Henan, we are too far apart, together is not realistic at all, so in the eyes of my husband, I am a very qualified wife, he often said "You can go to the kitchen, out of the hall, you are my glory." ”
But now I always feel that I can't get over this in my heart, I don't spit unhappy and have nowhere to say it, so I want to ask my family about this matter, should I tell my husband in the end?
@Soft Spring Breeze:
For married women, the man who has loved in this life, in addition to the husband of the man is best never to say, your husband must be particularly concerned about you, if you tell him, even if you do not say anything in the heart will leave a gap, in the days to come, you will find that your husband will inexplicably lose his temper, there is no reason, let you feel confused, from time to time in the head will fantasize about his wife's past love history, will always feel that the actual situation must be much more serious than what the wife said.
Like you said, just hugging and kissing the man, can he believe it when it comes to your husband, and if it were you, would you believe it? If one day your husband told you that he ran to Zhengzhou and hugged a woman he liked and came back, could you believe it, you wouldn't have a thought in your head?
Since it is impossible for you to do with that classmate, and you have no intention of divorcing and wanting to live a good life, this matter, I think, conceal it to the end, this is not only for yourself, but also for your husband, because the moment you tell the truth, although your conscience is released, but the moment you really say it, it is a kind of destruction for another person, and from then on, you will face those things that you do not want to accept, and your heart will be tortured for a lifetime.
Therefore, some things between husband and wife are best not to be told again, as long as you can live a down-to-earth life from now on, be nice to your husband, that is, make up for the incident.