Every parent wants their child to be confident, and self-confidence is the key to a successful future.
A child's self-confidence is not innate, and to a large extent, whether a child is confident or not is related to the parent's parenting style. By doing the following nine points, you are very likely to raise a confident and happy child.
１． Praise your child carefully
Of course, children need to be encouraged enough. However, if you say "well done" to your child no matter what you have accomplished and how well you have accomplished, then your child will not be able to tell whether your praise is realistic or not. However, when you over-praise, most children know it. If you do this all the time, your child may start to ignore your praise. Remember: if the child does what he is supposed to do, there is no need for you to praise him. For example, when he brushes his own teeth or throws dirty clothes into a basket, a simple thank you is enough. When praising your child, try to give him specific feedback. Instead of saying, "Your drawing is amazing," you can point out that his use of purple is great.
２． Don't overprotect your child
It's human nature that you want your child to avoid hurt, frustration, and mistakes. But when you get overly involved — trying to get him to an uninvited birthday party, forcing the football coach to give him more exercise time — it doesn't do the kids much good. Growing up, every child will encounter setbacks and failures. It is important for children to know that they can fail, and it is normal to feel sad, anxious, and angry.
By overcoming obstacles, children learn how to succeed, but if you remove all the obstacles in your child's way forward, children will not learn to succeed. It is important to allow your child to take risks, and that parents do not criticize or correct your child for doing something wrong. Parents can even deliberately make some mistakes and let their children see that you don't take your mistakes too seriously, which will make your child feel better.
３． Let the child make his own decisions
If your child makes his own decisions at a very young age, he will be confident that he has good judgment. Of course, children like to have control over things, but too much control can make them feel overwhelmed. It is best to give your child two or three options. For example, instead of asking a three-year-old what he wants to eat at noon, you can give him three foods to choose from. Also tell the child that the decision on certain things is up to the parents. Let your child know that not everything in life is something to choose from.
４． Teach children to be optimistic about facing failure
If your child often feels defeated by disappointment, make him more optimistic. Don't say to him useless comforting words like "See the positive side." You should encourage him to come up with concrete ways to make a difference and bring him closer to his goals. For example, if his reading level lags behind that of his classmates, explain to him that everyone's learning rhythm is different and spend extra time reading with him. If he doesn't get the role he wants in the performance and is disappointed because of it, don't say to him, "I think you have a talent for acting," but instead, you should tell the child, "I know you're disappointed, let's come up with a plan and see how you can get your favorite role next time." ”
５． Cultivate your child's special interest
Try to expose your child to a wide variety of activities. Encourage him when he finds an activity he really enjoys. Passionate children will be proud of their skills and are more likely to succeed in other areas of life. For children who struggle to integrate into school, having exotic hobbies may help. You can also help your child take advantage of his interests and socialize with other children. For example, if your son likes to draw and the other boys in the class like sports, you can encourage your son to use sports as the subject of his paintings, or collect his work and show it to his classmates.
６． Improve your child's problem-solving skills
When children are able to negotiate the outcome they want, they are confident. Dr. Myrna Shure, author of "Raising a Thinking Child," said. Her research has found that even young children can teach them how to solve problems on their own, and the key is to try to be silent. If your child comes to you and complains that a child has taken his toy truck on the playground, ask the child if he thinks there is a good way to get things back. If the first idea he came up with was to grab it back, ask him what the consequences might be if he did. Then he asked, "Can you figure out another way to get the truck back without the consequences that preceded you?" Dr. Myrna Shure found in a study of this situation that aged children came up with surprisingly mature ideas, such as children telling the child who snatched his truck toy, "If you play with me, it will be more fun than playing alone." ”
７． Help your child find ways to help others
Dr Brooks says children feel they can make a difference — whether it's handing out cups in kindergarten or bringing cookies to kindergarten — they have more confidence. It's good to have your child take on family responsibilities on their own, but it may be better to have younger children assist you with the task. Dr Hirsh-Pasek says that when a child sees firsthand that an adult takes a huge amount of effort to complete a task, he feels more relaxed when he has to complete a task in the future.
８． Find opportunities for kids to get along with adults
Kids love to be with their friends. But it's also important to be with a wide variety of adults. Spending time with older people can expand children's worlds, force them to talk to adults other than their parents, and bring them a different way of thinking. Research has also shown that staying close to an adult — a teacher, an uncle, a child caregiver, or a friend's parent — makes children more resilient.
９． Imagine the future
If a child can imagine what important or meaningful things he will do when he grows up, he will feel more confident now. Talk to your child about how you, your spouse, and other adults he know chooses a career. Your child may want to be a singer or astronaut. Try not to lower his expectations. It doesn't matter if he changes his mind, what matters is that he is thinking about his future.