1.
When I learned the news of Jay's departure, I sat on a bench on the street, lit a cigarette, and looked at the endless crowd across the street...
The only friend, just passed away, my heart seemed to be hollowed out, it hurt.
2.
I don't know when, the friends around me feel less and less, so little that sometimes even I can talk to myself for half a day, the other day I went to my hometown to shop, sat in the door of those people in my hometown in my spare time, listened to them chat, they also mentioned my father's things, said that my father's popularity is very good, before the hometown liked him, I was surprised, I did not expect that the honest father, actually had such a good reputation.
Sometimes I think, if I was old, I don't know what my reputation was, and I don't know which friends I could talk to when I was old, when I was young. Perhaps, all this is delusional.
My most precious memories are all left when I was 25 years old, young and vigorous, and I like to play, play with a group of people of similar age, chase beautiful girls, go hiking on weekends, I am most impressed by the New Year, and there are fireworks together, everyone looks at each other like life and death, how happy and happy that happiness is.
And many years have passed, but I can't remember that year, among the friends who set off fireworks on the roof, there were others, although they all had each other's QQ, but QQ has not flashed, nor has it been contacted, saying that the good life and death friend is so gone.
The bigger the person, the lonelier it is. A few days ago I also talked to a friend about this topic, he is older than me, has been 40 years old, I was surprised that I pretended to be calm and talked to him about the topic of life, I said, we are actually the most afraid of loneliness at this age, but there is no way, we can only endure loneliness, and this loneliness is not something that parents, wives or children can make up.
Because this loneliness is only associated with friendship, if one day, when you lie there, you will understand that loneliness is really terrible, like a black hole that devours your heart.
3.
Jie and I have known for many years, he is another me, personality, work style are very similar, people make friends are like to make friends similar to themselves, this is called the law of centripetal force, between us, do things or talk do not need to say too thoroughly, you can understand each other's thoughts. I remember working together before, I used to play World of Warcraft together, playing all night in a dozen, and then taking turns to replace the shift, these bits and pieces may fade away with Jay's departure, but I know that it may take many years and years.
In recent years, none of me have developed from colleagues to friends, because I know that colleagues are colleagues and friends are friends. There is always an insurmountable gap between colleagues and friends, everyone is busy making money, where is the time to make friends.
Well, I'll admit I'm a bit pretentious. How you treat the world, how the world will reciprocate you, I am more and more convinced, this is all just the cycle of cause and effect.
I lost not just a friend, but happiness.
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