Text: Purple Leaf Girl
The female writer Xue Xiaochan once said:
"We think we love that person in particular, but more often than not, we love the person we imagine, or rather, love itself. Or rather, we glorify the thing of love too much, it is far less wonderful than we think. ”
What is your rational partner? Regarding love, everyone's mate selection standards are slightly different, but they are not the same, they are all going in the best direction to reverie, but the pursuit of love, where is the perfection.
Because, everyone's growth environment is different, the personality is different, the three views are different, so never imagine the other party is too beautiful, everything has two sides; therefore, people who are in love, do not expect each other too high, pay their own, otherwise they will fall very badly.
01 In love for half a year, a 40-year-old single woman was cheated by her "boyfriend"
I wanted to talk about a love affair vigorously, the kind of marriage, and as a result, I fell in love for more than half a year, and I accidentally learned that my boyfriend actually had a wife and children, and my feelings were also paid, the money was also spent, and people gave, how can this be good?
Yang Liu (pseudonym), 40 years old this year, is the victim of this love, she told us that she had a failed relationship experience more than a decade ago, had a child out of wedlock, and later, she was also deceived by her feelings and failed to marry herself.
So many years have passed, I also have a car and a house and a deposit, but I have been single, no suitors, and I feel lonely when I see my friends around me getting married.
Later, she and her sister went out to sing together, and her sister called out her apprentice, this apprentice was named Huang Yong (pseudonym), 33 years old this year, very good at singing, the two first met, they chatted very closely, that night, Yang Liu's sister, she introduced Huang Yong to Yang Liu.
And later, the two often sang together, the days have been long, they have feelings, determined the relationship between lovers, during the period, cuddling and hugging are accustomed to things, the two behave very intimately, chatting, 33-year-old Huang Yong is even more directly called 40-year-old Yang Liu as "wife"
After knowing twenty days, Huang Yong on the grounds that his family was sick, looking for Yang Liu to borrow money, at the beginning, Yang Liu also had doubts, worried that the "boyfriend" Huang Yong was cheating on her, in the chat, also asked the "boyfriend" Huang Yong, in the end whether he was married, in this regard, Huang Yong claimed not to be married, divorced, let Yang Liu rest assured, he will not cheat him.
However, not long ago, when Yang Liu called her "boyfriend" Huang Yong, on the other end of the phone, a wife who claimed to be Huang Yong answered the phone, and after some communication, she learned that 33-year-old Huang Yong was married and did not divorce.
After learning that Yang Liu is a "third party", Huang Yong's entire family scolded Yang Liu, including Huang Yong.
In love for half a year, he borrowed money to his "boyfriend" Huang Yong, and now, the boyfriend turned his face and did not recognize anyone, Yang Liu was very angry at that time, so he went to his boyfriend to ask for an explanation.
But I didn't want to, the mother of her boyfriend Huang Yong stood up, in front of the neighborhood, and scolded Yang Liu, saying that Yang Liu was already an 'old woman' in her forties and fifties, and her son was only in her thirties, delusional, and wanted her son to marry her as a wife.
02 Go to the door to ask for an explanation, the "boyfriend" mother angrily: you are a garbage
Huang Yong's mother, 54 years old this year, insulted Yang Liu's excesses on the street, and soon attracted a crowd of onlookers. Yang Liu said that he was cheated by Huang Yong of money and cheated his feelings;
Huang Yong's mother said that Yang Liu was an old woman who wanted to marry her 33-year-old son and was shameless. The two sides argue endlessly, one word for you, one word for me.
Just when the stalemate was reached, Yang Liu's "boyfriend" Huang Yong came to the scene and brought the two back home.
After returning home, Huang Yong's mother, still not relieved, revealed to us in the living room that Yang Liu had come to destroy their family, constantly defending her son, saying that her son Huang Yong was an honest man, a responsible, and standard person:
"She came to destroy our family, this woman, it can be said that there is no one in the world, she is something, she is garbage." 」
After a scolding, Huang Yong also defended himself:
"First, I didn't fall in love with her, so why should I fall in love with her; second, I borrowed her money, and I paid it all off."
However, when we asked why, since he was not in love with Yang Liu, why did Huang Yong call Yang Liu "wife" during the chat process and promise to take responsibility for Yang Liu for a lifetime, Huang Yong either did not admit it, or did not have an impression, but on the contrary, it was repeatedly emphasized that It was Yang Liu's wishful thinking and pushed all the responsibility onto Yang Liu.
After several hours of communication, Yang Liu also became disheartened after clearing Huang Yong's attitude.
Subsequently, he told us about the love between the two, how she loved Huang Yong, and how she fell in love with a man who was willing to promise him happiness.
It turned out that when Huang Yong got married and divorced, and had a son and a daughter with his ex-wife, Huang Yong often made excuses that he wanted to work to earn money and take care of two children, so this made Yang Liu think that Huang Yong was a good man who cared for his family and had a sense of responsibility, but he didn't want to, all this was a lie.
In fact, Huang Yong did not divorce, his wife gave birth to a son and a daughter, because when the two children were born, they were defective, and after the birth of the child, it took millions of treatments in 14 years, and the two children have not recovered so far.
Half a year ago, Huang Yong's wife was on a business trip, and Huang Yong was only outside to stir up flowers and grass, which provoked Yang Liu, a single woman.
When the truth of the matter comes out, perhaps Huang Yong will have to worry about his own face, but also take care of his family and work, although he has remorse, but he cannot say it, which has caused a contradiction between the two.
However, no matter what, cheating on the feelings of others, and during the difficult period, Yang Liu borrowed money, and this love should not be treated like this to Yang Liu.
Therefore, until the end, Huang Yong never admitted that he had deceived Yang Liu's feelings, and in his opinion, it was Yang Liu's wishful thinking and pay for himself.
Since you can't give each other a future, don't bother others, I believe that after experiencing this, both of them have learned a lesson.
03 The author's emotional summary
Emotional mentor Tu Lei once said in "Love Defense War":
"Wholehearted dedication can be exchanged for touching, but it may not be exchanged for heartbeat." The companionship of getting along day and night may produce feelings, but it may not produce love. Don't lose your love. ”
When you don't get it, it's the desire, which you always want to have; when you get it, you don't want to be responsible, which is the normal state of love from nothing to nothing. Some people often say that marriage can not be a child's play, personally feel, but all men and women love, can not be too hasty decision, can not be hot-headed, it is easy to give hugs.
In real life, many women will use the words "romantic" and "touching" to evaluate the authenticity of love; they think that the other party is willing to spend their minds on themselves, and it is worth paying for their partners.
But I don't know that this way of judging love is very naïve; because the love between men and women cannot rely only on external "dazzling"; but must pay attention to the inner "thoughtfulness".
Love a person, can not be too blind; especially when you do not know each other enough, you pour out your heart, the so-called long-term seeing people's hearts, love at first sight, in the end unreliable.
What do you think about that?