As the saying goes: say what you say, splash the water. Whether you say too much or say the wrong thing, it can have a bad impact. Words are born from the heart, the wise are cautious, the words should be said, when the time is right, speaking is an art, and it is a compulsory course for each of us to ponder and learn the way of speaking. Today's article, teachers and parents should show their children.
1. A gentleman does not lose his footing, does not lose his color, and does not lose his mouth to others. It is therefore the gentleman's appearance and fear, the color of the foot is also fearful, and the words are also trustworthy. - "Etiquette and Table"
Translation: A gentleman's demeanor should not lose his decency, his appearance should be solemn, his speech should be cautious, and he should not say the wrong thing and say something he should not say. Therefore, the appearance of a gentleman is enough to make people awe-inspiring, his appearance is enough to make people feel majestic, and his words are convincing enough to make people convinced.
Perception: This sentence is intended to show that people should be careful in words and deeds, do not say things that should not be said to people, and do not do things that should not be done. This can not only avoid giving people a handle and incurring criticism, but also the personal cultivation of a gentleman. The success or failure of things often depends on whether the person speaking can say the right thing in the right place.
2. To speak out and not to forget one's parents is to speak evilly without speaking out of one's mouth, not to reflect one's words of indignation, not to insult one's body, and not to shame one's relatives, which can be described as filial piety. - "Rituals and Sacrifices"
Translation: As soon as you open your mouth and don't dare to forget your parents, so you don't say vicious and hurtful words, no one will say anything to you with hatred and anger, and then you can do it without dishonoring the body and not letting your parents be humiliated, which can be said to be filial piety.
Perception: Zeng Zi said, "Those who are out of Hur, those who are anti-Hur", how you treat others, others will treat you in turn. To others to say evil things to each other, others will also do this to you, this is not only an adverse effect on yourself, but also the embodiment of not "filial piety", the ancients believed that light "body" is light parents, light humanity, insulting "body" is insulting parents, insulting ancestors. Therefore, before speaking, think of your parents, do not let loose words and deeds, this is not only the embodiment of personal cultivation, but also the requirement of "not being ashamed of your relatives".
3. Words must be believed first, and deeds must be correct. - "Etiquette and Confucianism"
Translation: Speaking must first reflect integrity, and behavior must be correct.
Perception: Speaking is the simplest thing, but it seems that it is not so easy to do what you say and believe what you say, and what you say must be done. The Analects of Wei Linggong records: "Zi Zhang asked for action. The Son: 'Faithful in word and faithful in deeds, though barbaric in the land, do good.' Unfaithful in words, disrespectful in deeds, though in the state, what do you do? Only by believing in words and being consistent with words and deeds can we gain the trust of others; if we gain the trust of others, then even in barbaric and strange places, we can work; if we are disloyal and faithful in our words and disrespectful in our deeds, even if we are in our own country, we are hindered everywhere. Credit is an external sign of a person's inner sincerity, and it is also an important quality that those who achieve great things must adhere to.
4. Serve the gentleman, disregard for expectations, and be indecent. - "Etiquette and Qu Lixia"
Translation: Li Shangqian, if many people serve the elderly, the elder asks questions to the people, the waiter should first look around, wait for others to answer, it is not appropriate to answer first, to observe the color of the words to answer. If no one speaks, answer the elderly's question again.
Perception: Words come from the heart, the wise speak carefully, the words should be said, and when the time comes. When talking to the elderly, if it is not your turn to speak, do not rush to speak first, this is extremely impolite and disrespectful behavior, but also a manifestation of impatience and rashness.
5. Sit down with sir, sir ask, and finally be right. "Etiquette and Qu Lishang"
Translation: Mr. Waiter, if mr. asks, be sure to wait for mr. to finish asking, and then answer.
Perception: Don't interrupt sir, don't interject. Similarly, when communicating with others, out of respect for the other party, it is best not to take the initiative to interrupt others. Confucius once said: "There are three kinds of sorrows in serving a gentleman: to be impatient when words are not reached, to be hidden when words are not said, and to be blind when they are not seen in color." "Interacting with people, the other party does not finish speaking, interrupting others to preemptively say, is impatient; should not say it themselves, is concealment; without looking at the other party's face, they take the liberty of saying that they are "blind."
6. A gentleman is ashamed to be in his position without his words; a gentleman is ashamed to have his words and deeds without his deeds. - "Etiquette and Miscellaneous Notes"
Translation: A gentleman who is in a certain position and does not give the advice that should be given in that position should be ashamed; a gentleman who has such remarks but does not act like that should be ashamed of himself.
Perception: These few words are mostly used to illustrate that in a certain position, there should be words and deeds that are in line with that position. It can also be used to satirize incompetent people who occupy a certain position. Another important issue is the question of words and deeds. Some people always like to talk too big and full, but there is always a lack of action, let alone results. The ancients despised such people very much. In our lives and work, we would rather speak plainly and modestly than boast about ourselves.
7. In the official dialect official, in the Fuyan Mansion, in the Kuyan Library, in the Chaoyan Dynasty. - "Etiquette and Qu Lixia"
Translation: Above the court, words and actions must be reasonable. Officials, governments, treasuries, and dynasties are all office places. In the appropriate workplace, talk about the matters that should be handled.
Feeling: A person can not be smooth, but to be mellow, to speak according to the conditions of the times, according to local conditions, a cultivated person, talk to different people, the theme must be in line with the identity of the other party, the talk is a reasonable thing, so that the other party will benefit.
8. Business is not private. - "Etiquette and Qu Lixia"
Translation: Don't talk about business in private.
Feeling: If there is no private speech, public affairs should be discussed and done by the public, and if they are discussed privately, there is a suspicion of adultery and evil for personal gain. It is not advisable to do public affairs and private affairs, and in the same way, "public affairs and private discussions" are also not the work of wise people.
9. Words and deeds are virtuous, and it is impossible to seize the will in life, and not to take the name of death. - "Etiquette and Dressing"
Translation: Speaking truthfully and acting lawfully, so when he is alive, his ambition is unswerving, and when he dies, it will not affect his good reputation.
Perception: Words and deeds are the two ways of human subject activities, and language is the most direct way to communicate with people, and there is a saying in "Poetry, Daya, or" that "Bai Gui's defilement can still be polished; Si Yan's defilement cannot be done." "Bai Gui's spots can be worn away, and the mistakes spoken cannot be recovered, so we must speak cautiously, not open our mouths, but be realistic according to the situation."
10. A gentleman's covenant, a villain's foreword. - "Etiquette and Fangji"
Translation: Virtuous people speak cautiously, pay attention to doing practical things, and do what they say; people with low moral character speak in vain, preemptively say big things, and say that they can't do it.
Perception: People often say that "the little man's words are mixed and vain, and the gentleman's words are simple and realistic", Lao Tzu also said that "light promises must be untrustworthy", he said: "Faith is not beautiful, beautiful words do not believe." Good words are not argued, and arguments are not good." Clever arguments and beauty can hurt the truth and integrity of words, not the right way. "Hard work is better than eloquence", any truth is not born of argument and mutual criticism, in order to achieve the goal and seek knowledge, we must do practical work, just as the lyricist Lu You said: "Never know this matter must be done", and those who have lofty ideals must keep it in mind.
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