A wishing tree | Photographed by Cheng Eleven
---- some things, which obviously and really happened, but as time went on, it always felt like it didn't happen, like a dream.
I think maybe it's because these things are too far away, or I can't do that now.
At the beginning of March when I was 19 years old, I saw the NEWS on tv and learned that the super girl was about to start, and that year I changed my name to Flowers and Blossoms.
When I was a child, I always liked to sing, and when I was in middle school, I also performed at the School New Year's Day party. I was so excited that I finally waited, so I cried and said to the teacher: For the sake of my dreams, I have to go.
I am a person who is easily affected by emotional fluctuations, and when I am excited, my voice becomes a crying voice, and the tears flow down unconsciously, which was more annoying before, but now it has the effect of fueling the waves.
Wiping his nose and tears, he walked out of the office, fantastic, please take a leave of absence.
When I learned of this opportunity, my first thought was my singing partner in school, Little Rabbit, she was a member of Redgirl, Redgirl was a group of our school group, founded in 2007, we always stayed together, tied the same hairstyle, the same headdress, bought the same hat, said the same secondary two slogan, went to the group's head stickers, went to school together, went to school.
Perhaps because the network was not very developed at that time, we did not know much about the situation outside, as if we were not afraid of anything, we would actually buy empty tapes to record songs and send them to the record company, and the company address was secretly found in the computer class. We recorded a lot of songs, most of them she songs, as well as By2, Wang Xinling, Jay Chou and so on.
I remember one summer, just after school, I secretly took out the repeat machine at home, we found a dilapidated bridge hole, accompanied by a sour smell, at that time can not manage so much, after all, here is quiet, can endure.
We took the reeds we had taken off as microphones, and she and I recorded for two hours, passing by a large truck carrying sand and gravel, and we coughed all the time.
She means something very important to me, as long as I start singing, I will think of her, she said that after we become famous, I can wear high heels, so that we are just right, but also think of a better stage name, and then practice signing, as if all this will really happen, always energetic, positive and optimistic look.
In this way, singing became a happy spice in our heavy study.
I took a leave of absence and immediately called her, excited to say to her, I hope we will participate in the competition together, I said a lot of things, she also said a lot of lots.
Eventually, for some reason, she couldn't go, and she asked me to go to the game with her wishes, and I promised her.
With the living expenses given by my mother in advance, I booked a cheapest green-skinned ticket, went to Xiao Ximen to find a few cheap clothes, and bought a pair of fiery red high heels, which was the first time I wore high heels, because I prepared Jolin Tsai's song, high heels are more appropriate, who knows that buying back is really pressed on the bottom of the box, ridiculously, the sole of the red shoes is written with a big word, I may be blind when I bought it, and I didn't see it.
Forty dollars of shoes, but also a special price, paid the money and quickly left, afraid that the boss would regret the price increase.
I also bought a white short-sleeved undershirt worn by the elderly, took a neutral pen to draw a picture of "Xinjiang, flowers and flowers", and wrote three big characters on the back "It is me", at that time, I was deeply persecuted by idol dramas, and the spirit of the second middle school was implemented very thoroughly.
Pack your luggage, pull the suitcase while the students are all in class, and walk out of the school door.
There was another girl in the class who wanted to go with me, her name was Xiao Chen, and she was also a girl who liked to sing, she didn't tell her parents about it this time, she bought a ticket with the money she bought for a mobile phone, and with her, my parents reluctantly let me go.
We had a thousand yuan for each of us, and she handed over the money to me, a total of two thousand, and removed the train fare, the clothing fee, the food and drink fee on the car, and there were still about twelve thousand left.
The moment I walked out of the school, I thought, I must not come back.
Sitting in the waiting room, I looked at the train ticket in my hand, excited enough to want to go to the toilet, and a dream chase began.
On March 31, Urumqi - Xining, Xining is the closest competition area to us, I remember very clearly, the ticket is still in the notebook, the number of trains is 1046, the middle needs to reverse a train, first from Urumqi to Lanzhou, and then Lanzhou to Xining City, a total of more than 20 hours.
After passing through Hami, there were fewer people on the train, and there were many more empty seats, and finally it was possible to lie down and sleep.
It was cold on the train at night, my feet were freezing and I was starting to tingle, and I was rubbing my hands while staring in confusion, and I stayed up like this for more than ten hours.
Lanzhou arrived, it was now one o'clock in the morning, six or seven hours before the next train to Xining, pulling luggage to a nearby noodle restaurant, eating a bowl of authentic Lanzhou beef noodles, so delicious.
Then the cat entered an Internet café, into the Internet café we are still a little nervous, have not been to this point to go here, the night fee is cheap, like five dollars a person. Instead of sitting in the waiting room for hours, it is better to go online here, and for us who have been off the Internet for a year, it is simply too happy to be able to access the Internet.
Finally arrived at Xining Station, it is no exaggeration to say that at this moment we are like two refugees, our hair is shiny with oil, and our coats are rubbed a little gray by the green leather car seat.
At first glance of Xining, there is no Urumqi bustling, there are not many high-rise buildings on the road, and later I learned that the underground culture here is super powerful, many shopping malls, supermarkets are in the underground several floors, because this side is a plateau, the wind is strong, there are few small traders and vendors on the ground, the wind blows, people are trembling.
We were a little breathless walking on the road, and it should be because the altitude was too high.
I thought I would meet a handsome guy or something on the street, who knew that most of the Tibetan Obas here were red-faced, but they were still very handsome.
We started looking for a place to stay with our luggage and eventually found a small hotel next to the road, which looked safe and the owner was a big mother, about 40 years old. Negotiated the price, 40 yuan a day, we stalled down a person 20.
This room is almost ten square meters, a double bed, TV cabinet, a big butt TV, and a big window that scares us to the back to change hostels.
Our room was against the door, the sound insulation was not good, a person came in, we could all hear the sound, this night, came in a drunken man, swearing and grinning in the living room, the sound felt right in the ear.
This window is really big, two-thirds of a wall is a window, and there is no guardrail, it is the first floor, it feels like it will shatter when we knock it, we slept very unsteadily for one night, and we got up early in the morning and left the room. Good to find another one not far away for the same price as before, on the third floor.
I was ready to sign up for the TV station, so I took a taxi to save time and drove directly to the TV station.
When I got out of the car, I saw a lot of people crowded at the registration office, all of them were girls of average size, and some of them were very beautiful in ethnic minority clothes.
When we arrived at the registration gate, as soon as we heard that we had rushed from Xinjiang, the reporters gathered around and said that they wanted to interview, which made us a little overwhelmed, and quickly sorted out our dress.
When the reporter asked why we came here, I was righteous, my feet were not dangling on the ground, I cleared my throat, and said: "For the dream", just these four words, dreaming of this thing is really giving people strength.
As soon as I got back to my accommodation, I turned on the TV to watch our departure, and it seemed that there was none, or that we hadn't found the right channel.
Registration closes, go to the competition tomorrow. Now go to the supermarket to buy some food, pull Xiao Chen to the supermarket, shop for a long time, pick up the food and put it back, and finally decided to choose a few cheap, hungry things.
On the day of the audition, we got up very early, received the number plate, waiting to be called, to be honest, I really don't know how to choose songs, and when I got to the competition, I was hesitant to sing any song.
It was my turn, and I followed the staff's guidance to a room where there were two teachers, a man and a woman, whom I did not know, and I bowed politely, and I sang two songs, a Korean song with my own words, and a dance solo.
The result of our round is not bad, gave a card, let us go to the back and there is another one, the back one has a light, my eyes are a little open, sitting opposite three judges, two men and a woman, one of the female teachers, suggested that I wear darker clothes next time, my floral skirt under the light is a bit too plain, also suggested that I add some dance, asked me if I would Xinjiang dance, I twisted my neck, and later sent me a sign, saying to wait for ten days to come to the competition.
Ten days? So long, how to live it, a day rent of 40 yuan, ten days 400 yuan, remove the return train ticket, the next money to save money.
These days I often go to the plateau pearl not far from the residence to practice songs, Xiao Chen students are timid and dare not go out, I, in fact, the courage is not too big, I am the kind of timid in front of the bold people, timid in front of the timid people, just this will make my courage instantly bigger.
There is one thing I really don't want to expose, afraid that Xiao Chen classmates said me, is a story about barreled instant noodles, our toilet is outside, she does not dare to go out at night, basically with instant noodle barrels to solve, now I see barreled instant noodles, especially that kind of mushroom chicken soup noodles, on the stomach.
The day before the game we had a fight, I really can't remember the reason now, but fortunately, we all ignored each other because we were going to play tomorrow, and finally we all opened our mouths, the cold melted, and tomorrow cheered! Unfortunately, my voice was dumb, and I went to the Plateau Pearl every day to practice, and I was directly dumbfounded.
Before it was scheduled to go to Changsha or Chengdu Division, it is possible to see He Jiong, but thinking that Xining will definitely go to the few people, the odds of winning the game are big, who knows, obedient, Beijing specializing in vocal music people have flown to Xining, all think that this is a treasure land, so that xining division has become the largest number of participants in several divisions, regret is too late, come to go all out, dumb throat also have to fight, come on.
On the day of the competition, Xiao Chen and I got up early in the morning, went to the breakfast shop to eat soybean milk fritters, and also went to the image store to make a hairstyle, ten yuan, really cheap, and did not get me much, it was almost half an hour, the hair was raised, to be honest I think it is a little strange.
To the scene a lot of contestants have come, sitting on a chair looking at the front of the TV screen, is the performance scene of the last player, so nervous, has gone to the toilet twice, can't sit still and go to the toilet to sort out the clothes.
When it came to me, I nervously went on stage, feeling that my heart was going to jump out, I looked up at the judges on the other side, there were three judges, there were two of them, one was the famous musician Hei Nan teacher, and the other was the dancer Yang Yang teacher.
I was holding a thick stack of letterhead paper with dozens of lyrics I had written, and I actually took it to the stage, who would read the lyrics you wrote, this is a singing contest and not a lyrics contest, and awkwardly I put it on the ground after saying that it was the lyrics I wrote.
Originally I said that the speed of speech was very fast, this next nervous, said faster, even forgot to break the sentence, the teachers then laughed out loud, asked me if I was learning to broadcast, I said yes, they said I spoke too fast, I smiled and replied: A little nervous.
I still sang Jolin Tsai and a melody that came to mind a few days ago, I made up a song, sang a small segment, Teacher Hei Nan said that I made up a better song than the previous one, gave me some opinions, and let me be embarrassed that Teacher Yang Yang asked me: Do you want to perform and dance when you are dressed inside?
The clothes on the outside of me were a little short, revealing half of the clothes inside, God knows how I wore a shiny dress inside, Teacher Yang Yang must have thought I was going to dance, in fact, there was no meaning in wearing this one, it was my brain that went into the water.
As a result, there was no result, I was still sitting here, typing on the keyboard, and Xiao Chen stopped here like me.
When I came back, I was really depressed.
The place where I live, in a small group field, less than 20,000 people, a primary school, a middle school, more than not, in the school often performed, I feel very cattle, very good.
Who knew that there were people outside the sky, I thought too easily, my world is too small.
Later I also figured it out, I like to sing and don't need to get anything, to chase it is enough, sing when I am happy, enjoy myself, so it is very good, I am really happy, have such an experience, thank my parents, thank you for the support of teachers and friends.
Thanks to my 19-year-old self, I was lucky to go, otherwise I would be called to go now, I really didn't have the courage and confidence at that time.
When you are young, you must go out and see the outside world more, so that you can fill your own small world.