At Wenger. On the cover of Julie's book "The Law of Happy Marriage", there is a passage printed: "The most loving couple has 200 thoughts of divorce in their lives, and 50 times the urge to strangle each other." ”
Is marriage really such a fierce battlefield and a daunting siege?
Modern women are economically independent, ideologically emancipated, and self-conscious. Out of the hall to get the kitchen, you can earn money, you don't need to rely on men to support.
Go to work hard and work hard, go shopping after work and brush up on dramas. Heaven and earth can do everything, inside and out. It seems that the reason and necessity of finding a boyfriend to marry have been lost.
A person is very good, dashing and unrestrained, why find a boyfriend or husband to manage themselves and add to their own blockage?
For young people, it is possible to see and hear too many negative news about marriage, and they are very hesitant and anxious about this unknown area.
However, marriage is like all kinds of fruits, in different seasons and stages of life, sometimes sour, sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter, sometimes astringent. To know the taste of pears, you must taste them yourself. As long as you eat it, you will absorb the full nutrition inside.
Marriage is a book of profound wisdom that records every step of the growth of a couple. Every day together can not only write their own history, but also experience different human landscapes in the script of life.
For those women who are independent and powerful and completely dependent on themselves, marriage may be dispensable, or even dismissive; for those ambitious gold diggers, marriage is only a means and tool to achieve their own class leap; however, for most people who want to live a solid and happy ordinary life, marriage is a paradise on earth to collect their love.
Marriage is not the graveyard of love, but the soil of love.
The flower of love is like a fruit, it requires thought and energy to understand its habits, and carefully take care of it and water it diligently.
Love is a good medicine for life, an attitude to life, and a down-to-earth human firework. How we treat love, love will return to us in the same way. Missing love is also a gift of missed time.
Marrying love is not necessarily more noble than marrying money, but the price to be paid is different. Unless you have saved the universe in your previous life, then the luck of having both fish and bear paws, marrying a handsome and rich pure warm man, may be more difficult than landing on Mars.
As long as you clearly know the true desire in your heart and be prepared to pay the corresponding price, you will not waste this life. If you ask for kindness, why do you have any complaints?
A mature love will basically include these characteristics, mutual needs, mutual appreciation, a certain degree of economic ability, good looks, and an inclusive personality.
Need each other
The characteristics of human nature have the need to love each other and belong, and in marriage, husband and wife love each other and belong to each other, which is the basis of a happy marriage.
The process of falling in love is the process of finding the other half, and eventually the two semicircles merge into one and become a solid one. One of the values that marriage brings to people is the feeling of stability and solidity. It is like building a bridge on a river, even if life gives the waves and storms, the two hearts of the same can still calmly become unfazed.
No matter how long you are in love, it is unlikely to find the rock-solid and stable determination that marriage provides. People who like to be in love for a long time must not care about the protection of the form of marriage, or the feelings have become numb without knowing it.
So, the American marriage expert dr. Laura often repeatedly advises young people in the show that before falling into the whirlpool of love, they must clearly state that the purpose of their love is to marry, not to accompany runners and spare tires; and it is best not to fall in love for more than two years.
The primary purpose of love is to conduct a serious investigation, analysis and evaluation of the future half, and make a comprehensive judgment. Small things look at personality, details see character. I only know that aimlessly with ta Qingqing me, eating and pressing the road to kill time, is irresponsible behavior for oneself.
Marriage is the most important investment in life, it is related to your own future and the quality of life of your family. At the beginning of the relationship, a serious and comprehensive rational analysis of your feelings will avoid the plot of many dogs tearing cats and biting chicken feathers in future life.
If the purpose of love is to get married, have several children in the future, and form a happy home, then at the beginning of love, it is very wise and very necessary to work in this direction.
Appreciate each other and provide emotional value to each other
A pair of lovers attracting each other must be a mutual recognition of the advantages and strengths of each partner. People who can find each other's strengths and shining points usually have the characteristics of modesty, learning, kindness, wisdom, open-mindedness and self-confidence. No matter how different the background and academic knowledge of the two people are, without mutual appreciation and recognition, the balance of feelings will be out of balance, and love will easily fall apart.
The famous talk show host Oprah once told her own experience, and among the various people she interviewed, whether it was the president, the singer, or ordinary people, all the guests on her show, when the show was finished, without exception, they would carefully ask her: "Is this okay?" "The desire to be recognized is the deepest desire of human nature.
Serve each other and fulfill each other
To love a person, you should do your best to meet their spiritual, psychological and physical needs, and at the same time accept the care and dedication of the other party.
I love you, but I don't sacrifice myself. In daily life, there is only unilateral sacrifice and dedication, and the other party only accepts and enjoys, treating the other party as a servant at will, treating the home as an inn, and using marriage as a stepping stone to one's own career, which may succeed for a while, but in the end it cannot be long-lasting.
The essence of marriage is a contract that provides both parties with welfare value and due responsibilities and obligations. When in love, you should discuss your hopes and future direction planning clearly.
For example, when to have children after marriage, how to manage money, how to divide the work of household chores, time investment in personal hobbies, blueprints for family goals, and so on.
Good love, can not forget to talk about money.
Money can be both a booster and a booster for both husband and wife to achieve each other, or it can be a killer of beautiful love and a happy marriage. At the beginning of love, you should understand each other's economic strength, money concept and attitude to the use of money. "Where your treasure is, your heart is."
Some of the silly white sweets with high-quality conditions of their own, the reason why they are easy to be deceived by scumbags, is to mistakenly think that the appearance of love should be, sentient drinking water saturation does not eat human fireworks. But I never thought that love without bread does not even have the strength to talk about love.
It's not scary to fall in love with an unworthy handsome guy, what's scary is that this handsome guy shows no signs of self-improvement, and the ambition to fight the world with you.
Don't provoke people who are contaminated with eating, drinking, gambling, gambling, and game addiction, overestimating the power of love, is the mantis arm blocking the car without self-control. Instead of trying to change a person with a different trajectory, it is better to spend time and energy to find the right person and work together for the future.
Some partners avoid disputes, and the money of two people after marriage is still separated. Just like roommates, good brothers settle accounts, and eventually the loving couple will eventually become two brothers worthy of the name.
How can the hearts be together when money is separated? Sanmao once said, "Love will not last long if it is not implemented in the real life of dressing, eating, sleeping, and counting money!" Love always needs money to set off. ”
Before falling in love, you also need to look at what he looks like
There is a traditional chinese thinking that ugly-looking men are not big shortcomings, but are synonymous with being steady, honest and reliable. However, it turns out that many ugly people do not stand the test of love marriage.
Examples of ugly people doing more evil abound. With the phrase "the world is not worth it", Li Tian, who opened the mantra of funeral culture, is a well-known talk show actor, and people look really left and right. Ugly, after all, did not stop him from cheating.
By the famous Hong Kong director Xu Ke, known as the great beauty Lin Qingxia, who met once in 50 years, she searched for and eventually married the rich businessman Xing Liyuan. The two daughters do not have the shadow of the hereditary mother's style, which is also a little regret of the goddess.
According to the news reports of that year, Lin Qingxia would have married his unassuming Xing Liyuan, first of all, he was a successful rich businessman, and secondly he was a caring warm man.
It is said that when Xing Liyuan cooked soup in Hong Kong and flew to Shanghai to visit the great beauty, the soup in the jar was still hot. However, the media reported that Lin Qingxia's close friend inadvertently revealed the information that Lin Qingxia really couldn't stand Xing Liyuan's outsourcing to raise Xiaosan, and had angrily divorced and ended a 24-year marriage.
Although the goddess did not admit to the divorce, as an ordinary melon eater, it is still not necessary to equate the ugly man with the heartfelt reliability, which is just a self-deceptive misunderstanding.
Life is long, and there are many days when you need to face this face. What kind of person you want to fall in love with, who you want to marry, it is best to think clearly in advance, do not deceive yourself.
Ugly looks, not necessarily beautiful in heart, and not necessarily synonymous with honesty, loyalty, kindness and reliability. At the same time, the power of genes needs to be acknowledged, and many examples show that daughters are like fathers and sons are like mothers. Being responsible for the child's appearance is also a kind of cultivation for parents.
Both men and women in adolescence, before or during a relationship, should take a course called intimacy. If everyone takes such an important subject as intimate relationship seriously and studies well, the index of the quality and happiness of marriage will inevitably be greatly improved; the divorce rate will not rise year by year as it is now; and the home on which innocent children depend for their survival will not be easily torn apart, so that children will be devastated and hurt by spirit and soul.
Zhang Yijun, a well-known emotional marriage expert, once suggested that the channel of finding love is more than one way at first sight. Making good use of blind date network acquaintances to introduce various forms of gatherings, the process of calming down the mentality and finding lovers is also an opportunity to make contacts. Buying and selling is not benevolent, lovers can't be done, and there is no need to become enemies.
For white-collar beauties who have just joined the work, no matter how busy they are, they can't forget to fall in love and get married.
Love is a thing that is uncertain, and when it is encountered, it should be caught in time; not when you are free, it will definitely appear.