In the past few days, special attention has been paid to two 40+ women, one is Yang Lele, the wife of Wang Han, the host of Hunan Satellite TV, and the other is Sun Li, the wife of well-known film and television actor Huang Lei.
The two seem to have a lot in common, the age difference is only one year, they are both women behind successful men, they are in middle-aged marriages, they are both intellectually elegant mothers, after becoming mothers, they have given up their careers, full-time at home to teach their children...
But looking at the state of the two in public, I feel that they are very different. Yang Lele feels that he is "very tired", Sun Li feels that he is "very beautiful", what is the difference between the two women?
Yang Lele, who has left the workplace for a full decade, just entered the Douyin platform a few days ago, with the confidence that "the decade of women is not the end, but the beginning", and returned to the audience's vision.
In an interview in the early stage, Yang Lele talked about parenting and marriage talked about her husband Wang Han, the tone was choked twice, although the expression and words were balanced and controlled in place, but they could not hide the inner anxiety, fatigue and forbearance, and there was no satisfaction, relaxation and tranquility of happy women in middle-aged marriages.
She bluntly said that marriage was complicated, like falling into an overgrown hole and tying her up. "A person with children is very tired", he is not good enough, and in Wang Han's eyes, he is also "not a good wife". In short, it feels like in addition to the vague complaint is a fierce self-blame, marriage has pulled the hind legs of life, and it has not made her happier than when she was single.
Unlike Yang Lele, Sun Li seems to be very satisfied with her current full-time wife status and the happy and harmonious life of a family of five.
Looking at her Weibo, it is simply a large live broadcast of a typical happy woman in marriage. The husband and daughter are sunning the fitness and dancing, the little luck of the family life, and the screen can feel the brightness and openness of the heart like a girl.
On May 9, Sun Li posted a short video Weibo to endorse Mother's Day, saying that "being a mother is beautiful, I am beautiful." She said that since becoming a mother, she and her children have accompanied each other and grown up together. Of course, it is very tiring to have children, but that tiredness is a part of her life, and that tiredness is happy.
When it comes to the impact of raising children on women, Sun Li does not have any anxiety, and is quiet and calm from the inside out. She said that even if you don't have children, you will naturally age, face the ups and downs of your career, face the trivialities in your family, and face the birth, old age, illness and death of life. On the contrary, it is precisely because I am a mother that I can appreciate this precious feeling of life. So, she thinks that she has nothing to lose, only to gain, to get a kind of beauty that pays love.
Bringing up the three children little by little, and personally giving careful training, Sun Li's efforts will not be less than Yang Lele, who brings a baby alone, and should be more arduous. But why does Sun Li, who is obviously a year older than Yang Lele, look younger and more relaxed?
Sun Li is not a superman, nor does she have three heads and six arms, and her only secret is that she has Huang Lei. Unlike many successful middle-aged men such as Wang Han, Huang Lei does not forget to take care of the family when he engages in careers, does not forget to have family affection, and always treats his wife as a lover.
The traditional model of the Chinese family is that the male protagonist is the male protagonist and the female protagonist. Especially in the family of successful men such as Wang Han and Huang Lei, the wife takes care of the family full-time, and the man concentrates on making money by fighting for his career.
They throw women into "widowed marriages", and they are at ease to be hands-off treasurers, becoming verbal factions that only talk and do not do. Many middle-aged women are thus forced to live as King Kong, to live as hermaphrodites, to live as omnipotent.
Huang Lei is fortunately not that kind of man, he believes that "dad's love for mom must not only be kept in his heart at all times, but also in bits and pieces of action." ”
Therefore, it is often seen that Huang Lei is busy sneaking around and accompanying his wife and children. And happily incarnated Huang Xiao Chef to show her hand to her family, so that Sun Li had more time to do what she liked.
Huang Lei, who is middle-aged, never ignores love and never neglects to express his love for his wife. In the variety show, he made his views public:
"I am very much opposed to the idea that love becomes affection, my mother, my daughter is my relative, my wife will always be my lover. My wife and I are still lovers, and we should be lovers all our lives. ”
On March 8, the anniversary of receiving the marriage license, Huang Lei posted a group photo of the two intimately snuggling, married for 17 years, still like a couple in love. May the hearts of one man be won, and the white heads not be separated, that's it.
It is conceivable that Sun Li's "very beautiful" must be behind Huang Lei's understanding and respect, as well as the support and sharing in family trivia.
Looking at Yang Lele's "very tired", in addition to her own particularly strong anxiety, there must be Wang Han's incomprehension and non-sharing, such as parenting such as housework, etc., which can not only be done with money, and all need to be done by someone themselves. Yang Lele's "a person is very tired" comes from her helplessness and isolation alone.
In this era of emphasis on financial independence, stay-at-home wives are a very dangerous profession. When a woman retreats from the family, she may lose every wrong step. The tragedy of being a 24-hour online nanny, but only because the palm of his hand is up, he is denied, and even swept out of the house, it is not uncommon. Thinking that housework is a woman's duty and has no value to speak of is the unanimous consensus of many men.
In this world, between men and women, it is easy to meet love and meet sex, and the most difficult thing is to meet understanding and understanding. I understand your pursuit, understand your difficulties, you understand my needs, care about my demands. You are you, I am me, and we are in marriage together, doing everything we can to share with each other, support each other, and become better and stronger together.
In fact, women are the easiest animals to satisfy, especially people to middle age, only hope that the family is neat and peaceful, and the requirements for husbands are not so high.
She can give up her career, can endure busyness and hard work, as long as her husband can see her efforts in the eyes and is willing to take the initiative to help, it is enough.
It is not easy to be a full-time wife, the workplace is also hard, and it takes a lot of courage and effort to return to the public vision when people return to the public vision in middle age. Unable to evaluate Yang Lele and Sun Li, who is happier than whom. As long as it is a life that you actively choose, you should be happy.
But if I had to choose, I, who has no ambitions, would prefer to be Sun Li, who is spoiled and pampered by her lover. Watching my husband and children wonderful, because they are the love of my life, I am willing to guard the big rear for them, and then be happy to do what I like.
There are many kinds of happiness and beauty of women, and giving love to get love must be one of them. Whether it is Sun Li or Yang Lele, they are hard-working and beautiful women, worthy of a lifetime of happiness.