Text | Uncle Ha · Anchor | Cloud Bay
Source: Uncle Ha's Workplace Micro-Classroom (id: haerg7)
Sometimes, I really admire some people, no matter what you say or do, they can always give you a gorgeous blow in the head.
You say that hard work is the most reliable choice for a person.
He will retort to you indignantly, don't boil poisonous chicken soup all day long, there is no relationship at home, no background, no effort is useless.
You say that smoking is harmful to health, and staying up late will really kill people.
He retorted to you, pure nonsense, my grandfather smoked all his life, lived to be 85 years old, my aunt Zhang downstairs worked the night shift every day, and did not see her die.
Some people are really full of anger, don't look at anything well, and scare sentient beings.
You say this is good-looking, he says it's a good-looking ghost, your taste is really bad; you say this movie is really good, he says I think it's rubbish...
In short, everything is against you, carrying, making you uncomfortable.
Some people say that the so-called high emotional intelligence is to speak well.
In fact, the really powerful high emotional intelligence, or there is a more advanced emotional intelligence, called "not to carry.".
Most people who love to carry, most do not know how to respect people
Some people say, can't I express my opinion when I see something that I don't approve of?
Absolutely.
However, "debate" and "carrying" are completely two concepts, "debate" argues for justification, and "carrying" is distorted reason.
Since all the reasoning is wrong, let the people arguing with it have a sense of helplessness that "Show meets soldiers".
Therefore, a person who always likes to raise the bar is mostly a killer in the social field, and the interpersonal relationship is also relatively poor, annoying, and can be classified as a "low emotional intelligence" group.
Naturally, the reason does not need to be said, because such a person always speaks and acts with aggression and lacks the most basic respect for others.
This is a very fatal point.
The cultivation of a person's emotional intelligence often begins with speaking well, and speaking well often begins with "not carrying up".
Others say that this dress is good, you don't know how to echo it, but don't open your mouth and say "what is this beautiful", "your vision is really poor" and so on.
Others say that effort is very important, it doesn't matter if you don't agree with such a point of view, shut up, don't open your mouth to "try to have a fart, you are net mistaken for people's children" and other such words.
You're not debating, you're attacking people and disrespecting others.
To say that such a person is low in emotional intelligence is to say that it is implicit, and frankly, this is the lack of heart and eyes, that is, the bad.
Many people have poor interpersonal relationships, career development is not smooth, family is not harmonious, the problem is often on their own broken mouth, the mouth is not covered, open mouth to see blood.
I've seen quite a few examples of this.
On the other hand, in the workplace, those who are mixed up, and in life, those who have a good relationship with family and friends often know how to be merciful.
The so-called "mercy under the mouth" means that even if they do not agree with your views, they will not personally attack you, and they will be more rational and gentlemanly.
A person with a really high emotional intelligence, even in the case of his own reasoning, will often leave some room and retreat for others, giving people steps down.
Most of the people who love to carry it live a pitiful life
Many times, I am more sympathetic to those who like to carry.
Why?
Because I think most of these people live a pitiful life.
A person always likes to carry with others, often for three reasons.
1. Lack of self-confidence, love to be in the limelight.
The essence of carrying is actually to elevate oneself and obtain a sense of psychological superiority by hitting others, and this kind of person's desire to perform is usually stronger.
A person with a strong desire to perform is often inferior in his bones and lacks self-confidence, so he will win people's attention through this kind of sensationalism.
Truly confident people don't deliberately brush up on the sense of existence; people with really high emotional intelligence don't carry, only lift people, because they don't need to prove anything to others.
2. Life is not satisfactory, catharsis.
Many people should have this experience:
When you are in a good mood, everything is good-looking, all is good, the mentality is better, and you are more tolerant when dealing with things;
When you are in a bad mood, it is not very pleasant to see anything, and the words you say are often prickly and mean.
In the same way, those who always like to scare sentient beings, whether online or in real life, can predict that their lives are not satisfactory, and their lives are in a relatively bad state.
It is precisely because life is not satisfactory and the mood is not smooth, so they have to find a place to vent and find a little pleasure to come back.
Raising the bar, on the surface, is to intimidate others and deny others, but in fact, it is a struggle with the bad emotions in their own hearts.
3. Be self-righteous and live in your own world.
Most people who love to carry are very self-aware.
The so-called strong self-awareness means that they are particularly stubborn, it is difficult to accept other people's views, always think that they are right, others are wrong, and look like "Lao Tzu is the first in the world" all day long.
Such a person, always immersed in his own world, to be a lonely king.
Emotional intelligence is actually divided into two parts: one is "elsewhere" and the other is "self-contained", and the latter is often more important and more advanced.
"Other places" is what we usually call dealing with people, getting along with others, and being able to make others comfortable, often saying that this person has a high emotional intelligence.
"Self-treatment" is to get along with oneself, and judging the level of a person's "self-treatment" is often to see whether he loves to carry and whether he is full of anger.
True high emotional intelligence is not to please others, but more to please yourself.
Let yourself live comfortably, live open-mindedly, confidently, and without screwing.
-Music & Pictures-
Background music | Piano song "Gentle"
Image source | Visual China
-Author-
Uncle Ha, likes to use history to deconstruct the workplace, the text is grounded, easy to understand, concise and incisive. The public account Ha Uncle's workplace micro-classroom (id: haerg7). Ten Point Reading is authorized to publish this article, please contact the author for reprint.
-Anchor-
Yunwan, the anchor of the ten-point reading contract, the warm heart of the brother, every night with the sound to accompany you to sleep. Public number: Tingyunwan (id: yunwan6666).
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