Bedside baby
Author: Uncle Nanshan
During the Kangxi Dynasty of the Qing Dynasty, the area around Fengcheng in Jiangnan presented a novel way of entertainment: when guests came, they simply lay down on a wooden bed, and a baby less than three feet tall stroked the guest's head with his tender hands at the head of the bed, while telling some national anecdotes and political storms.
These babies are called bedside babies. Although they are small and their fingers resemble babies, their eyes and faces are full of vicissitudes. Street labor, field labor, and folk three religions and nine streams all like to come to this bedside baby massage building because of its low price. And no one knows who the boss behind the bedside baby is, not even the local officials. As a result, the name of this bedside baby became louder.
This incident alarmed the imperial court. Kangxi secretly ordered the chancellor Li Sanjiang to go down to investigate, and asked Li Sanjiang to think of ways to report the source of these bedside babies to him, and could only keep the sentry secret, and not alarm the local officials. Li Sanjiang was sleeping and eating for someone to report his corruption and festering things, and when he saw that the emperor had entrusted him with a heavy responsibility, he was naturally excited: "The emperor still trusts me, and I must complete this matter." ”
Therefore, Li Sanjiang quietly came to Fengcheng, disguised as a fortune teller, and walked into the bedside baby massage building.
After handing over the money at the counter, a waiter in a coarse civilian shirt came over and took Li Sanjiang into a small room, where a reddish-brown wooden bed almost occupied the entire room. Li Sanjiang lay on the wooden bed, and after a while, a small baby jumped on the bed. Li Sanjiang carefully examined the man and found that although his bare places such as his fingers and feet were tender, his face looked very old. "Could this be the legendary bedside baby?" Li Sanjiang couldn't help but be stunned.
The bedside baby was obviously an expert in tuina, and the two baby hands gently caressed the temples of Li Sanjiang's head, while murmuring some folk anecdotes. The sound of the warbler song and swallow makes people become extremely lazy. Li Sanjiang wanted to talk to the bedside baby, but the bedside baby only cared about his own anecdotes and political insiders, and ignored Li Sanjiang. Li Sanjiang had no choice but to close his eyes and enjoy this tender caress. An hour later, the bedside baby jumped out of bed and disappeared into the doorway.
Li Sanjiang got out of bed, stretched out a lazy waist comfortably, and found that he was tired of running in the past few days, and it was really swept away. He was secretly amazed, thinking that if he wanted to do a good job in the things explained by the emperor, he must see the boss, otherwise the source of this bedside baby would not be able to figure it out. Li Sanjiang found the waiter boy and told him that he had made clear his intentions, and the waiter smiled and said to Li Sanjiang, "This gentleman, our boss does not entertain visitors, unless you are a special person." ”
"Another person?" Li Sanjiang was stunned for a moment, and then he smiled and groaned and took out one or two pieces of silver and quietly stuffed them into the waiter. The waiter took the silver and said, "Well, I'll give you a briefing." After a while, the waiter returned, pointed to a small door in front of him and said to Li Sanjiang, "Our boss is waiting for you in that house." "Li Sanjiang walked through the small black door and came to a hut where a man in a black coat stood with his back to him." Do you have to see me? A dull sound came from the man's throat.
"Yeah, I wonder how you bedside babies came to be?" After all, Li Sanjiang had seen the situation, and he said straight to the point, "Because I also want to open a similar massage restaurant, but you are sure that the address I opened is never in this place, as long as you tell me the source of the bedside baby, I will give you a thousand taels of gold as a reward." Li Sanjiang's wishful thinking was very good, as long as the boss said the source of the bedside baby, he could report to the emperor, and one thousand taels of gold, for him, was just a drop in the ocean.
The man turned around and smiled coldly, "Then you will follow me!" Li Sanjiang followed the man in black into a large cave. In the cave, from time to time, one or two bed-head babies passed, and they laughed and giggled and held one or two steamed buns, telling stories with joy.
When Li Sanjiang was confused, the man in black spoke: "Sorry, sir, we have a rule here, if someone must know the source of the bedside baby, they must tell some anecdotes or political insiders, otherwise, those bedside babies will see you as an alien, throw them into the pool, and make you difficult." Li Sanjiang thought to himself: I have been familiar with all kinds of books since I was a child, and it is natural to say some strange things, but it is a little difficult for me to say the inside story of the political circles, but in order to complete the tasks assigned by the emperor, I can only open up.
So, he nodded, "Well, boss, I can do all these requirements of yours." ”
They entered a hall in the cave. The hall was brightly lit, and a dozen bedside babies were sitting around a huge stone bed. The bedside babies were all less than three feet tall, but their hands were as smooth as white jade.
"Tell these bedside babies anecdote first, and then I'll see you again and tell you the source of these bedside babies!" The man in black finished speaking and walked out of the cave.
Li Sanjiang smiled at the bedside babies and told a strange story of a dwarf looking for his wife, who expected the bedside babies to shout angrily: "You bastard, laughing at us are dwarfs!" Version v. You, we are not dwarfs, we are bedside babies! ”
Li Sanjiang immediately accompanied the smiling face: "Don't worry about the ranks, I will tell you a joke again!" Who knew that those bedside babies did not buy his account, one of them stared at Li Sanjiang, pointed to a steaming pool behind him, and said: "Tell us about your inside story in the political circles, otherwise we will throw you into that pool!" ”
Li Sanjiang immediately shook his head: "You have misunderstood, I am not an official, so I don't know the inside story of politics!" ”
"Not an official, then why did you get here, and everyone throw him down." The bedside baby who took the lead shouted. The other bedside babies jumped out of bed and surrounded Li Sanjiang.
The night sweats on Li Sanjiang's forehead brushed down the ground. He knew that he would not be able to go out without telling some political insiders. Forget it, these bedside babies are also for entertainment, so you might as well make up some stories for them.
What is surprising is that those bedside babies have insight into Li Sanjiang's nonsense, and they force Li Sanjiang to speak out about his corruption. When Li Sanjiang told him about the black money he had embezzled from a refugee, the bedside babies burst out laughing, and they lifted Li Sanjiang vigorously and threw him into the steaming pool.
The water in that pool was hot, but it was very pleasant. Li Sanjiang Shicai still felt that the water in this pool was poisonous, but at this moment, he felt a sense of comfort rushing straight into his seven gods and six veins, which was extremely comfortable. When Li Sanjiang had had enough to climb up, he found that the man in black had already walked in. The man in black handed Li Sanjiang a cup of ginger soup and said to Li Sanjiang, "Drink a cup of ginger soup first, and then I will tell you about the source of these bedside babies." After Li Sanjiang took the ginger soup and drank it all, he sat down and waited to listen to the man in black talk about the source of the bedside baby.
When the man in black saw that Li Sanjiang had finished drinking the ginger soup, he smiled and groaned, "Lord Li, the source of the bedside baby doesn't need me to tell you, right?" Li Sanjiang was taken aback and asked busily, "How do you know my surname is Li?" What is the source of bedside babies? ”
"Aren't you just a bedside baby?" The man in black smiled coldly, pointed to the pool, and said, "You are just soaking in bone shrinkage water, and drinking water that can lose memory." After half an hour, you will forget all your past. In three days, you will shrink into a three-foot-tall bedside baby..."
Li Sanjiang swooped down and knelt in front of the man in black: "The boss spares his life, the boss spares his life, I came on the orders of the emperor, you can't do this!" ”
The man in black pointed to a painting on the stone wall and shouted angrily at Li Sanjiang, "You see obviously." I'm not the boss, he's the boss! ”
Li Sanjiang looked up with trepidation and understood everything. Suddenly, he thought his whole body was beginning to ache, screamed bitterly, and fainted to the ground.
At this time, the man in black commanded, "Come, hang up this bedside baby waist tag for him." He coveted old Li Min's money, and in the next life, let him serve Old Li Min! ”
As for who the person on the portrait is, it doesn't matter anymore. However, according to the eunuchs who were raised by Kangxi's side, every year some political leaders disappeared, and when some officials told Kangxi about these things, Kangxi listened to them and always smiled slightly.
About author:You Peijian, pen name: Nanshan Shu, is a member of the Fujian Writers Association. He is good at creating stories and emotional beauty. He has published 6 books, including Who Picked Up the Wheat Of Your Life. WeChat ypeijian, literature WeChat public account zuowenbang100, welcome to pay attention to, exchange.