01
I saw several articles about whether to pass on "negative energy" to my children and felt that I had something to say.
For example, a mother wrote that no matter how tired you are, don't pass on negative energy to your child.
The mother has a son who is in high school, and every time her son enters the house, she will give him a big hug and say "hard work."
Every day, he will prepare one or two favorite suppers for his son, so that the children can change their slippers and sit down to drink hot fresh soup.
"Of course, I know that parents are tired after a day's work, and I myself often get tired after a day's work and don't want to say anything."
"In addition to making a living for ourselves, we also want to create better living conditions for our children."
"But if our toil becomes the sword we stab at our children, we are no longer the children's relatives, but the children's enemies."
The mom wrote.
I agree with and disapprove of this view.
Of course, we parents should not kidnap our children with our own hard work and fatigue, so as to ask them to study hard, and even nag endlessly every day like Xianglin Sister-in-law.
But I am afraid that it is not appropriate to hide all the hard work and fatigue and not let the child see the unglamorous side of his life.
Sometimes, we may as well tell our children a little bit of "negative energy".
Because, "negative energy" can also be a kind of education.
02
In the TV series "Young Pie", the school does not provide funds for the basketball team and cheerleading team, and Jiang Tianhao asks for money from his parents who are doing business, and his mouth is tens of thousands of yuan. The parents were not satisfied, so they served as waiters at the meal organized by the parents and forced the parents to obey.
Because he always knew that his parents were in business, and the family property exceeded 100 million. But he didn't know that his parents were on the verge of bankruptcy.
It wasn't until he finally learned the truth of the matter, the family moved out of the big house, and his parents changed from big bosses to peddlers, that they began to understand things, study hard and help their parents take care of business.
Wang Tianhao saw the "negative energy" of his parents, which actually helped his growth.
I remember my son once said to us, "Mommy and Daddy, do you know how poor our family was when I was a child?" When we first moved into the new house, once my mother went to the bank to withdraw money, and all the passbooks added up to only 200 yuan. ”
Whether there was such a time or not, we ourselves have long forgotten. At that time, the son who had just remembered the incident was deeply remembered in his mind. He has always been more frugal and does not spend money indiscriminately, which may be related to his childhood experience.
Of course, we can't cry with our children every day, crying, crying, but we should tell them the truth of life, let them understand the hardships of their parents, and know that life is not easy.
If you are too tired to go to work one day, let the child eat some leftovers at will, in fact, it is better than enduring fatigue or even illness to serve him a hearty supper.
Now too many children have no concept of money, only know that after spending it, their parents will definitely have it, and even poor families have rich children, which is not normal.
03
In addition, the world is originally both positive and negative, both good and evil, and we should also let our children know this.
The disappearance and murder of Zhang Zixin a few days ago made many netizens lament. The cause of the tragedy, of course, is the cunning of the tenant, the carelessness of the grandparents, the absence of parents and many other aspects, but Xiao Zixin's lack of "negative energy" education is also one of them.
If someone tells the child that even acquaintances may be bad people, don't go far with them, even if the grandparents agree, Xiao Zixin may not go with them, even if he finds that the signs are not right and starts crying in the middle of the road, it will increase the probability of being rescued.
For example, in the murder of Li Yangjie, a female student studying in Germany, when Li Yangjie ran at night, she was stopped by a German girl with glasses, a short and fat body, and a naïve and innocent baby face, and asked Li Yangjie for help in the name of moving a box.
Li Yangjie made a mistake at this time, she followed the girl to the apartment where she lived.
The girl's sadistic boyfriend hid behind the door of the apartment and attacked the unsuspecting Li Yangjie.
In the apartment, Li Yangjie was violently abused for an hour, and finally died of a violent attack on the head.
Obviously, Li Yangjie imagined the people around her too beautifully, and her heart was less vigilant.
Over the years, there have been more than one case of molesting a young girl, and some criminals have even been the teachers of children.
To this end, some experts pointed out that children should receive sex education from an early age, so that children know where to contact and where is forbidden.
Of course, most of the teachers are good people like their parents, but there are really animals among them.
We can't just teach children from an early age that they must listen to the teacher, but tell him what behavior is the bottom line, where it can be touched, what can't be done, the teacher can't, even the father can't do it.
04
In the program "See words as faces", I once read a letter written by Guo Degang to my son, which was full of "negative energy".
For example, "It is difficult to ascend to heaven, and it is even more difficult to ask for someone." Huang Lian is bitter, and no money is even more bitter. The rivers and lakes are dangerous, and people's hearts are even more dangerous. Spring ice is thinner, and human feelings are thinner. ”
"Words are repetitive, when fraud prevention."
"People are red and troublesome."
"Ungrateful thoughts are small, and they will definitely rebel." Speak of righteousness, and in the face of great difficulties, you will renege. When people call brothers, it is also common to have deep friendships. ”
Such sentences abound in letters.
Guo Degang's letter has been criticized by some people and warmly welcomed by many people.
Because, he used his life experience to teach his son a vivid lesson.
Maybe he described reality too darkly, too bluntly, but it was not the reality of life.
If our children have more such education from an early age, they may be more resistant to setbacks and less likely to be deceived when encountering things.
Each of us should be aware that children do not live in fairy tales.
In fact, even in fairy tales, there are big bad wolves in them, and old witches who are harmful to people.
Many fables and fairy tales are also taught to children from an early age, there is good and evil in this world, there are wolves in sheep's clothing, there are snakes that look pitiful but you saved it and bite you, and there are wolf grandmothers waiting to eat lost children.
05
To create good conditions for children is to make him more adaptable to the wind and rain of life, rather than to create a greenhouse for him and not let him see the outside world.
Properly telling children a little bit of "negative energy" is not a bad thing.
As parents, of course, we want our children to feel the beauty of the world, but at the same time we must tell him that there is a taste in the world called bitterness, and there is an action called evil.
Because, this is the truth of this world.
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