Humans like anthropomorphic animals and will do their best to dress them up more human-like. Let them push a cart, let them wear a small hat, such as let them sniff a few small pills bought from street thugs. In fact, some animals do like drugs as much as humans, and their methods are even crazier than humans.
African gorillas drinking bamboo wine to buy drunk
If you're an African gorilla, you have a thousand reasons to be sad. You are ugly, you JJ is short, you are prone to infertility; your fellow citizens are constantly dwindling, and the habitat is constantly destroyed; you climb up the canopy of trees to lament your fate to the heavens, only to be dug up by a bulldozer and dug on all fours; you beat your chest in anger and demonstrate, and you are hit by poachers on your big black and shiny buttocks.
This is the reality, my friend, your messenger of justice Tarzan is busy playing with girls, your savior Caesar is still in the laboratory wearing flower pants and pedaling a wheelbarrow, you can only get rid of this fateful nightmare on your own. There's a saying among you orangutans that goes, "Chicken Soup for the Soul is turned to ashes, it's better to have a drink of wine," so my friend, you'll end up with all the Luthors finding the same home—a get drunk.
My destiny... And so it sinks...
Gorillas in the mountains of Rwanda have discovered a native form of bamboo whose sap ferments alcohol. The locals call it ulanzi, which means "bamboo wine," and the gorillas just call it "the trough, it's a good thing."
Wildlife photographer Andy Rouse happened to bump into one of these jungle partys while visiting Rwanda to observe gorilla life. The hospitable gorillas invited Andy Rouse to have a drink, but they didn't expect the bad guy to secretly take many pictures of them drunk, and the orangutans in the camera were ugly.
The dude had already seen the psychedelic train coming towards him
Would you rather find yourself drunk at a party on a sticker board on a nasty site like 4chan or Jandan, with a big dick on your face? For the sake of their final self-esteem, the embarrassed gorillas beg Andy not to post these humiliating photos online. Andy pretended to say yes, but after leaving the orangutan territory, he uploaded the entire camera memory card to Facebook, and scraped millions of dollars for a Silicon Valley Jew in the form of "a thumbs up to ten cents". Remember him—Andy Rouse, the first photographer in human history to capture evidence of a gorilla hangover, and the trigger for the ape wars recorded in the history books of apes thousands of years later.
Sleeper! Sure enough, it was the Eight Lambs of the King two days ago!
California groundhogs that steal car antifreeze
Antifreeze is a direct poison for most animals, but it is not the case for marmots in several national parks in California. It's poisonous but alcohol-based, so many marmots can't wait to take two more bites before being poisoned. Lurking near the parking lots of Sequoia National Park and Yosemite National Park are several marmot criminal gangs that pick on your mouth when you're not paying attention, bite open the engine's heat pipe or anything else that gets in the way in order to get a delicacy that is rare in a barren lifetime— antifreeze. Up to 40 cars are damaged as a result of this per year.
Brethren, here comes the bar!
People became aware of the problem and used tools such as tarps or barbed wire to stop these invaders. However, in the face of the indestructible teeth of the groundhog, many people finally chose to take the initiative to bow to the criminal gang. Some people will put a large bowl of antifreeze next to them after parking, such as an evil animal drug addict cultivation plan or a strange sacrifice to the god of the groundhog.
In five minutes your car will turn into an alcoholic club full of jerks
By chance, the marmots that get into the car are taken away from their habitat by the car and into a strange place. Most groundhogs are not well educated and have difficulty finding jobs and making ends meet in unfamiliar places. So when you see a homeless groundhog standing in the corner of a strange town, begging with its furry little paws holding a small sign that reads "Please give me $4 for antifreeze," you hear another shattered American dream.
Dolphins that lick puffer fish for anesthetic pleasure
It's common sense that puffer fish are highly toxic, but toxins in puffer fish are also a wonderful anesthetic when measured in very small amounts. Humans have figured out ways to make themselves happy with various drugs, and dolphins are not far behind: many dolphins have learned how to make a wonderful trip by licking pufferfish.
"Pufferfish: Nasty, you can't lick it there!"
Oceanographers' submersibles recorded scenes of these addicts gathering to take drugs. The dolphin in the picture grabs a hapless little pufferfish and tries to suck up a bit of the venom from the pufferfish. Doing so will not kill the pufferfish, but the pufferfish will be very upset, so it will erect in protest. But the dolphin means that you are honest / Grandpa is happy / Today you let the grandpa have fun, and turned the next few hours into a nightmare that the puffer fish can't erase for the rest of his life.
This little pufferfish who didn't know anything about the world had thought that he would endure such a devastation! Only to see this evildoer stretch out his thick and long mouth, grasping the smooth and rounded body of the little pufferfish; gently provoking the most sensitive part of the pufferfish's body with his dexterous tongue, the poisonous glands; under the play of this evildoer, the pufferfish's consciousness gradually blurred, it gave up its erection, it could not help moaning, it could not help secreting, and in the evildoers' malicious laughter, the puffer fish turned its head desperately and touched the peak of the most humiliating pleasure in its life with tears.
"I'm ruined. Watch my eyes."
Don't blame dolphins too much, these are the animals with the closest IQ to humans, they have too many real problems that must anesthetize themselves to escape. "Yo my mom made me ugly, so I threw away the ocean handsome club ticket", the dolphins sang self-deprecating songs, licking the pistachios that made them forget about the world. When a dolphin is happy, it will hand the pufferfish to the next water poisoned friend, just as you and your fox friends take turns sharing a cannabis. When all the dolphins have ingested enough paralytic toxins, they throw away the exhausted pufferfish that have been licked, empty their bodies and minds and let themselves float with the currents, and then enter some kind of wonderful mental tunnel – just like you and your fox friends fly big and collapse on the living room floor. Dude, dolphins are indeed the closest animals to humans in terms of INTELLIGENCE, aren't they?
Licking toad hallucinogenic Australian dogs
In 1935, the Australian government introduced more than 100 sugarcane toads from overseas to Queensland to deal with annoying sugarcane beetles. No one expected that fifty years later, these toads would become the rulers of the Australian continent. It sounds incredible, but knowing that this is Australia, everything you encounter wants to eat you, and in this place where a rock in the backyard can jump out of 10 ghost things that can bite your whole family, it's really hard to believe that a toad is the king of the food chain. But that's the way it is, these toads are vicious and greedy, they eat everything they want to eat, they poison everything they want to eat. Our sugarcane toads, while croaking happily, easily solved the challenges of local weak chickens such as the desperate noose natural plague python, the abyss nightmare prehistoric crocodile, the six-way devouring hundred-eyed devil spider, the divine hunter iron armor evil lizard, and the blood-winged night monster bat, and finally crowned the supreme king of Australia.
Why do you say this is toxic? Hurry up and give me another dozen
While the toads are dancing a wonderful slow dance, sucking out the life force of the continent little by little, the Australian dog has established a wonderful relationship with the toads. The skin of these toads is constantly secreting tiny amounts of hallucinogenic toad crisp, and dogs have a habit of licking everything they see, and the two hit it off. Basically, there is a cultural tradition in the use of hallucinogens in dogs (think about why only Snoopy can see the Red Baron), Australian dogs discover more than humans that licking toads can bring extraordinary pleasure to themselves, and dogs that lick toads will constantly scurry around the yard, spinning and jumping, rolling its eyes, and the happiness of dogs you can't see.
Dude, I want to lick yours...
As with any human drug, excessive abuse of toads can lead to health problems, and dogs with frequent exposure to toads can have a much shorter lifespan. But some dogs lick even more than Leonardo DiCapilio licks his Oscars, which makes the Australian government think it's not okay, we have to take care of it.
Oh my! It's only been a few days since my big baby lost its color!
Now, the government has funded a clam control center for these drugged dogs to help the clam lickers, who were once addicted to toad hallucinations, regain their dogs. But why doesn't anyone care about marmots or dolphins? Dogs that have been bound by humans all their lives have lost another opportunity to choose their own destiny.
The dog has already shown a pronounced toad withdrawal reaction
Russian brown bear addicted to aircraft fuel
At some point, the Russians have to deal with a whole bunch of aviation fuel barrels, and they think the Kronoky Nature Reserve, which is hardly accessible to anyone, is the best option. A few years later, scientists discovered a strange side effect — local brown bears had learned how to open barrels and suck up the remaining vapor of airplane fuel, just like the egg lovers once goddess Iijima Ai (may you rest in peace) and taking superglue.
From the reflection of the fuel, I found the true self
Now the bears here are used to enjoying the fuel fumes in the barrels, which can make the brown bears laugh higher than the American U2 reconnaissance planes that have flown in from afar. Drunken brown bears playing in the snow have become a common local landscape. Spurred on by drugs, brown bears began to become deranged, with witnesses saying that grizzly bears chased and bit the butt of a helicopter that was landing for fuel, and the whole scene was eerie a sequel to a thriller movie like Resident Evil.
This man's last words: "I've drunk high, now I can go and beat up the Russians"
Wildlife photographer Igor Shpilenok spent seven months observing these addictive brown bears. He found that these brown bears not only looked around for fuel barrels to smoke, but when there was a lack of fuel, they would even gather at the helicopter landing site to frantically sniff the lingering smell of dripping fuel, like desperate drunkards frantically licking the ashtrays of bars that left a whiskey smell.
Bear licking oil from a helicopter? What an unsightly scene! This is a joke! Have you ever seen a helicopter that leaks oil while flying? The Russian pilot said he would rather hire the bears that smelled gasoline than let the drunks at the Miri Helicopter Factory assemble their own helicopters: you should applaud if you can land safely with this crap, and don't mind the bears coming around to see the jokes. So, this is Russia, a country that is basically vodka-driven, a country where no one dares to say they drink less than brown bears. It's no surprise to us that the animals here will find a way to get as drunk as their fellow humans. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to buy a plane ticket to Russia, realize my dream of having a big drink with brown bears, and save up a bull that I can blow for a lifetime.