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In "The First Half of My Life", when Chen Junsheng told Luo Zijun that he would marry Ling Ling no matter what, many viewers felt that he was desperate.
It is true that in this marriage, Luo Zijun was at fault. She believed in love too much, thinking that marriage was the result of their love, and she didn't know that this was the beginning.
So in this marital relationship, her advantages are becoming less and less obvious. Even if she has made great sacrifices for this family, without a good body and a good job, she is still not loved by her husband.
But after all, she gave birth to a son for him, so that his tired heart could find a place to rest. Even if his love for her was no longer there, he should not be so desperate, not even the slightest chance left to him.
It must be admitted that Chen Junsheng has absolute affection for Luo Zijun. As a person who betrayed his marriage, he turned around and accused Luo Zijun of not being, and he did not know that the reason why Luo Zijun had become what he was now was that he had a close relationship with him.
However, under the influence of Ling Ling, he ignored this point. However, this is not the most desperate performance of men. In the relationship, there is a more desperate manifestation than saying leave, that is, indifference.
Love is care, it is care, it is warmth, it is protection, and it can never be indifferent.
Disregard your presence. In the process of getting along, although she was always dangling in front of him, he acted as if she did not exist, or was no different from the air.
In other words, her joys and sorrows had nothing to do with him. That's pretty weird, isn't it? You know, they are the two closest people, otherwise they wouldn't have come together in the first place.
However, they are now the most familiar strangers, not even strangers.
Once we thought that the opposite of love is hate, but we don't know that it is not, and the other side of love is indifference, indifference, and ignoring it.
Once, when I watched the original work of "Ancient Dust", I felt that the punishment of Bai Jue by the ancients was too shallow. Whatever his reason, he ruined her lover, took her life, and made her lose the most important person in her life.
For such a person, how to beat him a few times to relieve the anger, how to just choose to ignore it is over.
Later, after some experience, I learned that the words of the ancients were heavy.
The so-called hate, in fact, still has expectations for this relationship, expecting him to turn back and see her pain; expecting him to turn around and remember their former beauty; expecting him to regret it and realize how wrong he was in the first place.
In other words, there is actually an element of love in hatred.
Indifference represents the disappearance of feelings. In other words, in the eyes of men, no matter how much they once loved each other, how touching the vows they made, how many meaningful things they did, now there is no point, so his unilateral choice of this relationship has disappeared.
In the eyes of women, men do this, too unreasonable. But in the man's view, this is not the case, and for him, this relationship is a bondage, a cage, if he still has something to do, he must have fled as far as he can.
In this case, women do too much, in fact, it is useless. For example, Liang Lu in "The Name of the People".
After learning that her husband Qi Tongwei betrayed their marriage, she was very angry like all the original partners, and after the anger, she began to think about how to pull Qi Tongwei back, and she also made a lot of efforts for this.
Yet no matter what she did, he couldn't look at her; whatever she did, he thought she was particularly annoying.
In the end he chose to flee. Looking at the empty house, Liang Lu's heart was also empty. She didn't understand how she had become an abandoned person if she had clearly done nothing wrong in this relationship.
In fact, feelings sometimes do not make sense. Maybe you don't have a naturally beautiful appearance, no proud figure, no prominent family lineage, he just fell in love with you, loved like crazy, loved to the point that you didn't marry.
Conversely, there is no reason not to love someone. As for all the reasons he says, many of them are actually excuses, excuses for him to be able to leave you with peace of mind.
For such a person, the best way, no matter how hard he begs to turn back, but chooses to leave in a dashing manner.
You have to admit that the cost of leaving will be great, but it is too light compared to the grievances you have suffered in your feelings and the indifference you have suffered.
Leaving is painful. And those grievances and indifference will make you more painful, and most importantly, they can suppress your yearning for a better life, so that you will always live in the denial of yourself, which is the most terrible.
You know, a woman without self-confidence, even if she really meets a good lover, can't grasp it. So leaving is the least harmful way.
Life is cruel, chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea, less than anything.
So in order to make the future better, women have to start planning from now on. This is a great joy in the eyes of the man who loves her.
So when a woman hasn't planned for the future yet, maybe he's already set out to plan for their future. Because he wanted their feelings to shine like diamonds. At any time, it is the most dazzling presence on the stage.
Because he wanted their hands to be held as tightly as they had when they first fell in love, and never separated. Because he wanted their love to have a home, they would never have to experience wind and rain from now on.
Therefore, even if the planned future requires him to pay a lot; even if the planned future is more difficult for him now, he is not willing to give up.
In the eyes of men who do not love her, her plans for the future are all fake, all are bad, and they are all lack of science. In this case, he was already very good if he didn't go crazy with her, how could he let her arrange it?
So, no matter how her future is arranged, he chooses to ignore it. Even throttle her out of her own future.
For example, Xu Bochang in "No Questions". No matter what his wife Liu Shufen said to him, he ignored and did not express an opinion, as if she did not exist at all, and as if the future trend of this family, whether it was good or bad, had nothing to do with him.
This made Liu Shufen feel desperate, so she had to vent her emotions by beating him badly. It turned out to be the wrong way, and it would only plunge her into the abyss of despair and be unable to extricate herself for a long time.
Liu Shufen was deeply influenced by feudal thought, so it was not surprising that she made such a move. Yet we are not. Therefore, for the man's desperation, if conditions permit, it is better to choose to leave.
Please believe that you are wonderful, worth meeting better people, and worth having a better life.
end.