First, the main points of choosing a man
1. Positive quality.
While you can't always be sure that the complex feelings that make you like a person, it's important to be as informed as possible when you're making such an important decision. Ask yourself the following questions when talking to everyone:
Does he have a good sense of humor? People with a sense of humor excite us and make us see the world differently.
If he's in heat with you, no one should touch you on a body part unless you're ready, but it's okay to wrap your arms around your waist, hold hands, or even put his arm around you, but if you kiss him back at the stage where he's going to kiss, make sure you're ready to get into that phase, and the person you're going to choose needs to be able to restrain yourself.
Does he keep in touch with other emotional aspects? Is he sensitive to others? A lot of men have an emotional side, the problem is that they don't want other people to see it. A person who can accept that others see his emotions is a person who is both confident and mature.
Is he kind and respectful? People often overlook the key measures to build healthy relationships.
Is he slow to do things? People who come slowly like to savor it. Men who move at the speed of light are usually faster than you say "disappointed".
2. Feeling.
One person may look better on paper and may have all the qualities you're looking for, but another person may have the ability to make your heart beat faster just by sending you WeChat. So, the next time you're with everyone, not only think about why you like him, but also ask yourself if he makes you feel confident and happy. Here are some things to consider:
How does he make you feel when you're around him? Does he make you feel like he's only interested in you or does he always seem to flirt with other girls and you're just another girl on his long list?
Is he getting you to play your best, or is he having no problem with you being "okay"?
Will he challenge you to make you want to be a better person?
Does he praise you in a meaningful and not coercive way?
Will he make you blush, giggle, and feel like a dizzy little girl?
Does he treat you like a lady and make you feel special?
How will he treat you when he is stressed?
3. Negative qualities.
Here are some things to consider when making your decision:
Does he have a complex past and a range of emotional issues to deal with? Sure, you might have a great time with him, but is that something you want to be responsible for in the long run?
Is he so bossy and stubborn? Is he always thinking the way he is, or is he unable to admit that he is wrong? These serious signs suggest that he may be a bit selfish and suggest that you may get more in a relationship than you bargain for.
Did he lie to you? You want someone you can trust, someone who is honest with you, no matter how hurtful the truth may be.
Whether he often gets into trouble.
Will he still talk about his ex-girlfriend? If he's still talking about his ex, hinting at small cues from time to time, or talking about her constantly, that's a bad sign. That doesn't mean he's a bad guy, it just means he still loves her.
Second, the trade-off
1. Weigh their similarities and differences.
This will help you understand what you really want. How does each one make you feel? Make a list of what kind of man you really want, do pros and cons charts about each person's strengths and weaknesses:
Which man would be better for me?
Which man will accompany me through this?
Which man do I have more in common?
Which man's face do I always want to see at the end of the day?
Which man would get along better with my friends and family?
Which man can I not live without?
2. Trust your instincts.
We couldn't pick the people we liked. We are born in a certain way and eventually form likes and dislikes. Don't think too much about it, trust your intuition to tell you about these people, then toss a coin in the air and tell yourself that if it's face up, you have to go with a, and if it's negative, you have to go with b. When the coin is in the air, where do you instinctively want it to land? That's your answer.
If a guy treats you badly but can't help but be attracted to him (and doesn't like the other guy too much), take a pause and it's really not bad not to be in a relationship.
Learn from your mistakes. If you've dated a certain man before but the relationship ended badly, don't make the same mistakes with another man again. Even if you're attracted to him, what's the use of you going through the same thing again if it breaks your heart and hurts you?
3. Don't worry.
Don't feel like you need to make a decision right away, your decision may take some time. During that time, hopefully one of them will do something good or bad to make it easier for you to make decisions. As long as you haven't committed to any one person and don't feel like you're out with another person being unfaithful to one, then you should take some time to make a decision.
If you choose a guy but he finds out that you've been with another guy for the past few months, then he may feel slightly hurt or confused.
Remember that healthy relationships should be like calm oceans, not roller coasters.
Third, after you decide
1. Be prepared for the consequences.
Know that making choices between two men affects your relationship with both of them, and it's a double-edged sword in the relationship: there's a good chance you'll break the other person's heart and miss out on the relationship with him. If the guy you didn't choose doesn't know the first man, you don't have to take it seriously or tell him the real reason you ended the "relationship". Although you should be happy after making a decision, know that the sea may still be a little choppy.
What if both are best friends? So what do you do? If you choose one and the other likes you, they may no longer be best friends. If you want to avoid this altogether, date someone else instead.
Be prepared to lose the one you didn't have a choice for. After you guys hang out romantically or flirt with each other, he probably doesn't want to be "just friends". But that's probably the best.
2. Commit to the person you choose.
Once you've made a decision, stick with it. That doesn't mean you have to tell the person, "I chose you over him!" Commitment is what you make through your actions and your heart.
Get ready to start dating, hang out only with the person you choose, and enjoy the benefits of being with one person without having to wonder what the other person is doing.
If there's no other person you feel empty or incomplete, then it could mean you made the wrong decision, or you didn't like the first one that much from the start – you just loved the chase.
Be nice to the other guy, but don't go out of your way to hang out with him or do things together. If you're too friendly to him, he might think he still has a chance. Plus, it may make the person you choose unnecessarily jealous.
Conclusion: No matter how you choose, accept your decision, life is yours, and you should live the way you want to – while trying to hurt others as little as possible. While you may feel guilty for making this decision, once you accept your feelings, you and the two will be better off, taking pride in making mature choices instead of leading the two forever.
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