Text/Summer
01
Stable feelings are like the "needle of the sea god" in the family. A harmonious relationship between a family husband and wife is the guarantee that two people can take a good road in life.
Two people come together because of their personality attraction, walk through the time before the flower and the moon, in the dull married life, feel more is the difference between the two people, began to appear more and more problems.
If you don't manage a marriage well, it's easy to turn "once beautiful" into a devastation of the years.
Leo Tolstoy said: "The kind of happiness that married people get from each other is only the beginning of marriage, not the whole meaning." The whole meaning of marriage lies in family life. ”
Childish love, managing each other is a kind of warmth, is a kind of sweetness. When people reach middle age, they still want to manage everything, which is often unfavorable to the operation of marriage and easily affects the relationship between husband and wife.
When a woman manages a marriage, learning to let go is the right way to run a marriage.
02, housework, learn to let go
Women learn to let go of housework, often allowing men to participate in the family and make their lives easier.
Goreman once wrote a story about a couple who were Judy and Bob, who worked harder and often came home late.
Judy finally exploded on the brink of collapse, angrily accusing her husband: "You are too selfish, always so late to enter the house, I am too tired to take the children alone." ”
And Bob is also very angry, he is very tired at work, the pressure is very high, and he is not going out to fool around, and he is also angry when his wife says this, and the relationship between the two people is deadlocked.
The therapist intervened in them and only told them not to complain, to express their demands. Two people communicate well and find a way to solve the problem.
Instead of yelling, Judy tells her husband that she is lonely at home and that she needs him to be integrated into family life to feel happy.
And the husband also understands his wife's dependence on himself, and he must come back early in the future, take the children together, and enjoy the warm time of the family together.
Women, in marriage, don't be too virtuous, learn to let men take on housework, take on part of the family responsibilities.
Don't let men get out of family life and treat home as just a "hotel". Let him understand that children are not for women to see, and dishes and chopsticks are not for women to brush, but men are originally part of this family, which is what he should do.
Let men integrate into the family, will understand the woman's bitterness and difficulty, will understand the woman, hurt the woman, willing to face everything with her, more often, will stand in the woman's point of view to consider the problem.
03, space, learn to let go
Women in space, learning to let go, often make men feel comfortable with their wives.
In "If the Years Can Be Turned Back", three middle-aged men have encountered a marriage crisis. Bai Zhiyong's wife Jingya cannot restrain her bohemian husband in marriage, he longs for freedom, does not want to be managed by his wife, and when he reaches middle age, his mind is like a child.
It is precisely because of his irresponsibility that Jingya has been greatly hurt. Jingya did not quarrel or resent, but let go, chose divorce, and lived alone and strongly to heal her inner wounds.
It was also Jingya's departure that made Bai Zhiyong fool around for a while, and finally found that his wife was very different from the past, and he also felt that he had never taken into account his wife's feelings in marriage.
When he knew that his wife had been seriously hit and hurt, and was afraid of his own guilt and sadness, he suddenly realized that a man's true maturity is to put himself in the shoes of his family, rather than to act arbitrarily.
Women in space, learn to let go, from time to time to ask him where he is, what he is doing, so that men have space to do their own things, men tend to be more active in "reporting the situation".
Women, in marriage, don't restrain men. Instead of managing men, it is better to learn to let go and run yourself.
Restraining men and managing men will only make men feel bound, tired of life without space, and affect the development of marriage.
Women know how to spend time running themselves well, often attract the attention of men, will become more appreciative of her, and care more about her.
Love is not just lip service, and it is not to control each other everywhere, to bind each other, but to pay for love, to do something that makes each other feel happy, to care for each other, and to live as a whole for two people.
04, career, learn to let go
Women in their careers, learn to let go, often let men have their own ideas, according to their own plans to pursue careers.
Gu Jia in "Thirty Only", like a superwoman, appeared next to her for the first time when her husband needed her. Unable to get the customer, she personally went to contact. Doing "firefighting" work again and again.
And her husband Xu Huanshan, while praising her for her ability and being his own xiannai helper, said around the woman: "What can I do without you?" ”
And turning his head, he will blame her for the reasons for his depression and ambition, and feel that his ambitions and talents are not recognized, which is actually Gu Jia's "nosy".
It also makes the feelings of the two people estranged, with the intervention of Lin Youyou, in fact, the problem is not Lin Youyou, but the feelings of the two of them, which are already problematic.
Women, don't care too much about a man's career, learn to let it go, and let him grow up quickly.
Women in men's careers, learn to let go, often can make men more spatial, can let him work according to their own ideas, to solve problems.
Women, don't be too strong, don't be a "superwoman", give men more opportunities, go right or wrong, let him fully experience life, will have more pattern.
If everything is rushed in front, then the value of women will be greatly reduced, and men's desire to conquer and heroism will be suppressed, which is a big taboo in the process of marriage.
Give him room to play, don't get involved in a man's career, give him the opportunity to trial and error, and he will get more experience. In the face of men's careers, women give enough support and understanding, learn to let go, and men will not be tied in their careers.
When a man's career is successful, he will also be more grateful to his wife who gives support and understanding, and thus knows how to cherish more.
05
Baby Anne wrote in "Rose Island": "The best love is that two people are with each other, do not bind, do not possess." ”
The inner world of a man is like a stage, he wants to be the focus of this stage, what you need to do is to cheer for him offstage, rather than standing on this stage and stealing his limelight.
Women, eat a middle-aged man's routine: let it go.
In the face of housework, women learn to let go, let men participate in the family, he will have a more sense of responsibility. In space, a woman does not have to ask endlessly, give the man a certain amount of freedom, he will feel the comfort of marriage. If a woman does not manage the man's career too much, he can better complete his career.
Let go, not all let go, but like flying a kite, not loose, the kite will fly high and far, and men can feel comfortable in marriage.
Women, eat a middle-aged man, to give him care, but do not let him have a sense of bondage. Naturally, men will prefer the only mode of getting along with women more and more cherish marriage.
Argentine writer Florence Isaacs said: "Marriage requires the constant nurturing of two wise people, the key is not to be complacent, to always improve your marriage." ”
When running a marriage, both parties must maintain their sanity, recognize their own value, and understand each other's value. Seeing the truest things in each other's hearts, based on this, the marriage will be easier to manage.
Marriages with a sense of bondage cannot last long, and women learn to let go, but they can manage marriages well and eat a man.
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Today's Topic:
How do you manage love?
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