Recently revisited Zhang Aijia's "203040", a 2004 literary film that tells the story of three women in their 20s, 30s and 40s.
20 years old should be the age to chase dreams. Xiao Jie came to Taiwan from Malaysia alone without her parents, she was bold, had dreams, and had actions, but she was slapped back to her hometown by reality.
30 years old should be the age to start a family. Think about wringing between two men, none of them makes her feel safe, what she wants can't give her marriage, what she doesn't want forces her to get married.
40 should be the age of happiness. Lily's daughter went abroad to study, but the couple's world was cheated on by her husband, and she divorced without nostalgia, but found that she did not even have a friend who could be dated.
This movie for women in their 20s, in fact, can not understand at all, or at the age of 20, it is the time to dream, there are infinite beautiful prospects for the future, so it is not at all that those so-called 30-year-old, 40-year-old state will happen to themselves.
Only when you step by step to 30, to 40, and then look back at this movie, you will find that the movie is really just a small microcosm of most of us women, and the real experience may be far more torturous than the movie.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="7" > one, 20 years old experience dream chasing</h1>
At the age of 20, Xiao Jie has the dream of being a singer, and she rushes forward without scruples in the face of her dreams, and she has not even thought about whether her dreams will encounter difficulties and failures.
This is the age that everyone will experience, at this age dreaming is happy, because young, so will think that there is a lot of time, will feel that it is sooner or later to achieve the dream, even if there are many people who are left behind on the road to success, they still feel that they will be the lucky one.
Xiao Jie came to Taiwan alone to pursue her dreams, met a girl about her own age, and the friendship between the two began with a hug during an earthquake and gradually became a sister flower without saying anything. Because it is simple, it is particularly pure to get along.
At this age, we will meet partners who are similar to ourselves, of course, whether in college or when we first entered the society, most of us at that time did not have bad thoughts, and thought of friendship as particularly simple, even if there was an argument, it was easy to be coaxed back to continue to be happy together.
The 20-year-old Xiao jie has fantasies about love, regards the idol Liang Chaowei as the object she wants to marry in the future, and even has the idea of exploring the love between the same sex.
When you are young, the star is the male god, it is the young girl's vision of beautiful love, the role played by the male star sometimes makes us who love to dream can not distinguish the reality, always fantasize that the future husband will be like the male god, because there is no experience, so the fantasy of their love will also be as romantic as in the movie.
Xiao Jie's friend fell in love, after the two got along with the third person, in the face of the boyfriend of the friend, Xiao Jie seemed to have become a third party, loneliness made her want to fight for a career, but found that the imagination is very beautiful, the reality is very cruel, the Shi brother who wants to take her into the industry, even a chance to record did not win her.
How many times have we grown up holding the pie painted by others and dreaming unrealistic dreams? If dreams and reality have been confused, we who are divorced from reality will find that everything around us is against ourselves, but we have not thought that some dreams are not just talented, but also need diligence, need opportunities, and may even have to pay a great price that may not be achieved, this is reality.
Xiao Jie's money was spent, even the rent could not be paid, she went to find Brother Shi, Brother Shi is not a dreamer, but Brother Shi is worse than Xiao Jie, wrote a bunch of works that are considered garbage that no one appreciates, was beaten fiercely by reality, Brother Shi gave Xiao Jie some of his only money, advised her to go home, this dream should wake up.
Dreaming when you are young is not terrible, at least you can have the opportunity to start from scratch, but when people reach middle age, they can't even solve their own food and clothing, but they still dream, who will understand this sadness? When you are deeply involved in it, there is always unwillingness, but the unwillingness again and again has not been exchanged for success, only the cruelty of reality.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="51" > the confusion of two and 30 years old</h1>
Think about having a job as a flight attendant, the opportunity to fly around allows her to meet different men, but the lack of confidence in feelings makes her obviously grasp two men in her hands, but she does not know where the happiness is.
30 years old is left, in today's not unusual, work has fallen, but feelings do not know where. Sometimes older women who are not married do not want to get married, but they are afraid that it is better to be married than the days when they are single now.
Think of a married boyfriend who said to her, "Didn't you say you didn't care?" It's important that two people are together. "What woman wouldn't care? So when this married boyfriend finds out that he has another boyfriend, he wants to question and think, but he doesn't want to have any explanation: you are not better than me, you are not qualified to take care of me!
Insecure women need to rely on finding spare tires to reassure themselves, but they find that it is not the more men who are more secure, what is the difference between this charm and "scum"? Instead of tangling with some fruitless men, it is better to be yourself.
Think about a small boyfriend who likes to engage in ambiguity with others, this little boyfriend is very domineering, smashing the car of the thought, throwing water on the body, every time relying on extreme ways to force the thought, childish, immature behavior makes the thought depressed, he proposed to marry the thought, think but want to escape.
Emotionally, many immature emotional expressions rely on extreme methods, they think that this is love, because love, so it will be like this, but do not know that their behavior will not make the other party feel love, only feel fear.
Think about the job is good, the appearance is not bad, but in the emotional not confident, there are two men in hand, still feel lonely, she called the ex-boyfriend, said ambiguous words with the ex-boyfriend, it seems that there is no shortage of men, but when there is really something to do, none of them can come in handy. All of this stems from a saying that her mother said when she forced her to learn piano when she was a child: Learn a craft, even if you are abandoned by men in the future, you can still support yourself.
Many women are obviously confident in their lives and work, but they will be confused when they encounter feelings, and many times these stem from the environment of their original families, of course, they do not rule out the betrayal of the previous relationship, resulting in women's insecurity of feelings.
Thinking about it is actually wanting a shoulder that she can rely on when she comes home, and the idea that her mother has instilled in her since she was a child: she will be abandoned by men in the future. So she has been looking for it on the emotional road, because she doesn't know what kind of talent to find not to be abandoned.
Women reach a certain age, married or not, is not inevitable, do not marry for the sake of marriage, that consequence may need a lifetime to make up, a relationship worthy of trust, can not be sought, everyone's life is different, why copy the way of others?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="52" > three or 40 years old awake</h1>
Lily, who is in her 40s, her daughter has grown up, and the whole family has returned from a trip, and it is always Lily who is busy, circling around her daughter and her husband, who is only busy on the phone.
When women enter marriage, family is often put first, but the reality is that the more important they are, the easiest things to lose.
Lily's daughter went to study abroad, Lily opened a florist herself, that day she sent flowers to a customer, but accidentally found that her husband's photo appeared in the hostess's home, it turned out that her husband had already formed a new home behind her back, and had a young son.
Women who have entered middle age originally thought that their children had reached adulthood, and they finally survived, only to find that it was not only their children who left, but also their husbands.
After Lily cried, there was no quarrel in the peaceful divorce, she thought she was very dashing, but when she looked back, she found that she couldn't even find a companion who could ask out for dinner and chat.
How many women lose friends after they get married? It's not that we don't want to go out to party, but we really don't have time, and when we refuse the invitation again and again, the friends will no longer date, the relationship will fade, and the circle of life will be smaller and smaller.
In order to find a person who can accompany, Lily wanted to find a real estate agent to talk about it on the pretext of looking at the house, but she did not expect that the original real estate agent turned into a sparring sparring partner, then look for him to do sparring, it is better than being alone at home.
Don't think that some women are really good at cheating, the truth is that some women are really lonely inside, living to a certain age, not even a person who can talk and go shopping, whose fault is it? Even if you get married, you can't give up your previous circle of friends, because time is really a good thing, and it will make people forget a lot of things.
Lily because of the loss of her husband, she thought that the position around her can quickly appear a man to make up, she met her elementary school classmates, a man who has been divorced from his wife for 8 years, but this man has a young and beautiful little girlfriend, because the girlfriend is young, men are everywhere, and Lily is very unhappy to see lily's heart.
No matter what age women, are eager to love, women are first to talk about love and then talk about sex, but men are just the opposite, energetic young women can give men a sense of freshness, in the same situation, men will tolerate the unreasonable teasing of young women, but will reprimand women of the same age for ignorance.
Lily felt cared for this man of the same age, and she cared more and more about this man, but this man seemed to just think of her as a friend who could talk about things. Lily feels that her love is not being answered, she is very decadent, she thinks she is a woman who has been abandoned by society, until a sudden earthquake, she is instantly awake, she can't abandon herself!
Learn to love yourself, in order to get more love, if you don't even love yourself, what else can you expect from others? It is true that women marry and put most of their energy into the family, the fault is that they should not leave a little energy for themselves, live without self, are not great, and will only become a sad excuse for being abandoned by men.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="53" > the last words:</h1>
20-year-old girls should not take 30- or 40-year-old women seriously, because every woman has experienced youth, and when you are disgusted with others when they are old, they are actually disgusting their future selves.
20-year-old girls can work hard at this age to fight their careers, and when you turn over the 30-year-old hurdle, you will find that whether it is energy or physical strength, even appetite, it is declining.
When love comes, don't refuse, career and love are not in conflict, but be sure to polish your eyes and protect yourself.
30-year-old women are easy to be urged to marry, when friends and classmates around you send a piece of happy posts to you, you will be anxious when you are still single, anxiety will go to a friend to talk, and do not be anxious.
We should see a lot of people who marry for the sake of getting married, and their ending reminds us that women's life decisions should not be swayed by other people's words.
Of course, 30-year-old women don't know how to choose all day for a few rotten peach blossoms, knowing that it is a rotten peach blossom should be broken, do not be confused by the sentence that "feelings can be cultivated", if feelings can really be cultivated, then there will not be so many divorces, because not all people are worth cultivating.
As for the 40-year-old woman, this home is not yours alone, instead of giving silently, it is better to boldly say what you give. Don't give up on yourself for this home, no time? If you have the heart, always take time to please yourself properly, which is one of the conditions for being strong.
Now there are so many unmarried women, especially some of the post-70s and post-80s may still be single, and the society is anxious about it, as if they are not married is how much mistake they have made, but everyone's life trajectory is different, for emotional problems, they can be responsible for themselves on the line, as for each of us, it is enough to manage ourselves.
(The picture is from the network, if there is infringement, please contact the author to delete)
(No. 33 of 2021)