The basis of parenting is love and trust — listen to Li Xiaomeng

Former CCTV host Li Xiaomeng, in her book, told such a story, she once met a child-rearing sister-in-law when she was doing a program, this child-rearing sister-in-law has been living in the rural hometown of Xiangyang, Hubei Province, until the son was 18 years old, from the birth of the child has been her husband alone outside the work to support the family, the economy is not rich.

When her son was preparing for the college entrance examination, his mood was once very irritable and nervous, and he could not continue to study. Once, when she came back from work outside, she saw her son strapped his legs to the legs of the table, and it turned out that his son was afraid that he would always want to get up and leave the desk, so he tied his legs. She quickly untied the rope and said to her son, "Son, are you stupid?" Can't go to college, our family still has land, these acres of land our family is completely fine, it's really not OK, you can still go out to work, or re-study, what are you doing with yourself? If you really don't want to learn, don't learn first. Which girl in your class do you like? Her son smiled, and the pressure gradually eased.

When the author asked her, what do you do when you are with your child? She said that I mainly take care of the child's emotions, I am responsible for making him happy, when he takes the college entrance examination, I will make him laugh, let him vent his emotions, reduce his stress, and never say such things as "mother will rely on you later".

After reading this story, I suddenly felt that a lot of my usual anxiety came from the opposite approach of this mother. And I have also preached and blamed my children, passing this anxiety on to my children, but I have never thought about how my children will feel.

"Mainly to take care of the child's emotions", a simple sentence that seems to be simple, but it awakens me - what is love? Isn't that our instinct?

In 2018, the relevant institutions of Beijing Normal University released a "National Family Education Status Survey Report", which mainly surveyed fourth- and eighth-grade students and class teachers. The report shows that whether it is elementary school students or middle school students, "having a warm home" ranks first in what students believe to be the most important things in life.

Child psychologist Allison Gopnik said: "In the parent-child relationship, the most basic trust is more important than the parenting method. "Parenting is of course important, but love and trust are above parenting. I hope that in the process of raising our children, we will not forget the most precious trust in the parent-child relationship. If there is no trust, then when they encounter difficulties in the years to come, who do we want him to talk to?

"Children are conceived because of love, born with love, and can only grow up healthily under the drive of love." ——Li Xiaomeng