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You don't often have headaches:
Why are boys very hard when they chase themselves, and they are very cold when they catch their hands?
And how did a girl who is obviously very good, after falling in love, slowly begin to become humble?
Before the boy did not catch up, the girl was a goddess on the top, how to catch up with the hand and become a "maid"? Is it really "what you can't get is always in turmoil", and you don't cherish it when you get it?
In fact, the root cause of this phenomenon is: poor psychological status.
Only if the man feels that your psychological status is higher in your relationship, he will pay more attention to you.
Before I talk about the specific method, I would like to explain to you a few points about the differences between men and women. Only by fundamentally knowing that there are many gains and losses in love, all of which are for a reason, can we really use the skills of love.
No matter how useful the method, if you don't really agree, then how to do it is a "performance" that does not go away. You have to agree with yourself before men believe it!
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There are 2 major differences between men and women in relationships:
1, women's love as the whole of life, men think that love is only a small part of life
Career advancement and social status are the sources of a man's sense of accomplishment.
The woman believes that the love of the man is the source of her life vitality, and the woman has always wanted to prove that she is always the first in the man's heart.
2) Women care about feelings, men care about relationships
Men pursue women in order to establish a relationship with a woman. In order to be able to establish a relationship with a woman, men will show the best side when pursuing women, and will also bring the greatest tenderness to women.
But once a man has established a relationship with a woman, the man slacks off.
Women are very concerned about feelings, and when boys pursue themselves, they feel good and will agree with men's pursuits. Women care the most about whether a man "loves" her the most.
After understanding the above two points, we must prescribe the right medicine.
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What can a woman do to make a man feel like she's different?
First, be a woman who pays attention to the quality of life
Lin Yutang said: "Less than a hundred years old, An can wipe the nose for others." Life is nothing more than that, and it is done and cherished. You will always be your own protagonist, don't always play a supporting role in other people's plays. ”
We live ourselves as protagonists, pay attention to the quality of life, and know how to control our words and deeds, so that we can make ourselves more and more attractive.
Simply put: everything is not ok.
We may not be rich, but we can do "less and finer." In this way, the home does not have to be filled with repetitive, cheap items, the place of residence is open, and the heart is clear.
Like I've written before: buy the best one within your reach. In this way, when we use it, every second is happy, and we will also feel cherished because of the "high price", so that it will be invisibly pampered. In fact, it has enjoyed good quality and has not cost much money.
The "beauty" of some things may be flashy, but is "beauty" not enough?
Second, be a woman who loves herself
Cha Eyhor said: "What kind of thought there is, there is what kind of behavior; what kind of behavior there is, what kind of habit; what kind of habit, what kind of character, what kind of destiny." ”
Develop a good habit and maybe tilt the balance of fate to the lucky side!
Loving yourself is simple, we can all do it, depending on whether you want to or not.
For example, if you love yourself, start by going to bed early and getting up early.
Some people say: "Staying up late is because you don't have the courage to end the day, and lying in bed is because you don't have the courage to start the day." ”
Going to bed early and getting up early will not only make your skin in a particularly good state, but also make you exude vitality. It also allows you to improve yourself more than others, and we can use the morning time to read and start a good day with knowledge.
As written in "Put the life process you want": "The sunshine not only comes from happiness, but also from the heart, the heart lives with the small sun, the days will be bright, not necessarily every day is good, but there must be a little beauty every day!" ”
Reading or any hobby you like, sticking to it, and always moving towards your inner dream is to let our hearts "live in the sun".
We don't have to think of men as the whole of life, we have jobs, friends, dreams and ourselves. Love ourselves and don't pin our happiness on men, so that we don't depend on anyone.
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Third, be a woman who is not easy to chase
Zhang Ailing said: "Unconditional love is admirable - the only danger is: sooner or later, the ideal will collide with reality, and every time they take a breath of cool air, their hearts will gradually become cold." ”
Things that can be obtained without paying a price are often not cherished, whether they are people or things. A woman who is easily chased is often not valued.
There are many girls, in the face of boys' ambiguity, showing love, confession, often powerless. After going on a date or two together, I immediately agreed.
You have to tell her: Slow down, wait.
She immediately said worriedly: What if he doesn't chase?
If a guy can't stick to your liking for even a month, does he really like you? Even if you do promise him that you are together, will you be able to extend the time you spend together as soon as you promise?
The two don't have a relationship, right? On the contrary, agreeing too early will make boys feel "not worth it".
In psychology, there is a phenomenon called the Veblen effect
Easy-to-get love is like a cheap commodity, and sooner or later it will be "abandoned like a shoe."
Many girls have seen "The Biography of Zhen Huan", in fact, Zhen Huan is really a love master. I think even if she doesn't look like a "jing", she can still become a "king". Because she's very good at "exploiting" a man's psyche. She once said, "The hardest thing to get and what you lose forever is the best." ”
The "hardest to get" has to be obtained with painstaking efforts and overcoming difficulties. In the later period, in order to let her return to the palace smoothly, the emperor simply "did everything to the extreme", gave the surname, changed the name, changed the age, "sent" the prince, and tried to overcome the public opinion! This wave of operations can be said to be "against the trend".
So in the end, even if he found out about Zhen Huan and the King of Guo county, he was not willing to kill Zhen Huan. You know, wearing a green hat for the emperor is no small thing! Look at the Ying Guiren who was liked by the Three Brothers, just a few love letters, they were directly given to death by the emperor! It really responded to Zhen Huan's sentence: "The most difficult to get is the best." ”
What is not easy to chase will be cherished!
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Fourth, be an attractive woman
There is a saying in "The Merchant of Venice": "For many things in the world, the pleasure of pursuing the time is always stronger than the pleasure of enjoying the time." ”
The biggest secret of making others like you more is always in love with us: to enhance your attractiveness!
There is a saying: "You have to try to be a person who deserves to be loved by others, rather than forcing others to like such a bad you." ”
So, instead of complaining about why men are getting weaker and lighter about themselves, it's better to set your sights on yourself. When we are "good-looking", others will naturally be attracted to us.
There is a kind of woman who is "fatally" attracted to men. That is: a woman with high emotional intelligence!
If you want to have high emotional intelligence, you must learn to manage your emotional intelligence!
1. The ability to recognize emotions
A woman with high emotional intelligence is not only sensitive to her own emotions, but also recognizes a man's emotions.
A woman with high emotional intelligence, when she finds that she has a lot of negative emotions, can talk to her girlfriends, friends, or be able to adjust to herself. Because women prefer to talk and listen than men.
Instead of blindly complaining to men, men prefer to be with optimistic women.
Men are generally not good at words, and sometimes they don't say it when they have emotions in their hearts. A woman with high emotional intelligence can sensitively capture his emotions and can give a man a space to be alone. Men need to stay in the "cave" to deal with their emotions, so that when he "comes out", he will appreciate the woman's thoughtfulness.
2. The ability to manage emotions
If women are not able to control their emotions, they are easily engulfed by emotions and do things that they regret.
For example, when two people quarrel, it is obviously just a small thing, and it may be that both people are emotional, and no one will let anyone. At this time, some girls will not choose their words, not only insulting each other, but also degrading each other is worthless. You may also impulsively say: Break up!
If the boy does not agree, the girl still does not forgive, as if to prove her place in the relationship. After the boy finally agrees to break up, the girl often regrets it and asks for a reunion. I've been advising girls not to mention breaking up unless you really want to break up!
Because the boy's thinking is different from the girl's, the boy agreed to break up, that is, really break up! When many girls quarrel, they are engulfed by emotions as soon as they are excited, and they lose their minds.
And a woman with high emotional intelligence, she knows when to say and when not to say. They know how to keep a measure, give themselves respect, but also respect each other. They know how to empathize, and the best way not to be hurt by others is not to hurt others.
Whether it's learning to manage your emotional intelligence or maintaining your attractiveness is not an easy task. But it's a process that makes us slowly get better, isn't it?
If you accept your current self with peace of mind, then you don't have to change. If you lie where you are while you are dissatisfied with yourself, that's your problem.
If you want to do something, do it right away, even if you don't do it well, it doesn't matter, even if it's only 50 points, it's better than 0. And we're going to get better and better every day.
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Yishu wrote in Not a Reason:
If you really want to do something, then even if there are many obstacles, you will try to do everything you can to get it. But if you don't really want to accomplish something, then even if the road ahead is smooth, you will try every reason to stop yourself from moving forward.
If you want to change, get up and do it!
No matter what kind of relationship we are in, we must be a growing woman!
When we all love ourselves more and more, then it is the honor of a man to chase such a girl!