How can I improve the "internal friction" state? | wheat field mailbox

Letter

editor:

Hello, I find myself always unconsciously distracted while doing one thing, and my mind will simulate the scene of what I am going to do next, subconsciously self-arranging, imagining what will happen, or worrying about the unknown in advance.

But in fact, I will find that things often happen without warning, and nothing happens as I imagined. But even after understanding this, I still uncontrollably anticipate or simulate the scene that is about to happen in my mind, so that my heart is so tired, which often makes me feel that I can't concentrate, so I am very restless and anxious, how should this phenomenon be viewed?

Looking forward to your reply, thanks!

Chocolate chip cookies

reply

chocolate chip cookies,

Hello! The reason why I chose your letter reply is because this is also a problem that bothers me, and in the communication with friends, I will find that there are many people with similar troubles. Recently, there is a popular word in social networks called "internal friction". I think this kind of inattention is also a kind of internal friction.

In my own experience, and one of the most direct ways to start fighting internal friction, is to set aside a period of time every day for wild thinking. The logic of this small method is similar to "take the scumbag's road, let the scumbag have no way to go", haha. Since the mind is always eager to try and think wildly, we will preemptively attack.

Our minds are filled with all sorts of worries, as you say: we simulate scenarios of what we're going to do next, subconsciously self-arranging, imagining what's going to happen, or worrying about the unknown in advance. So, you can try to take half an hour a day, do nothing, and concentrate on letting the thought run around, it wants to simulate, it wants to worry, it wants to dream, just run by it. Having such a fixed period of time every day will greatly alleviate the tension that fills the busy daily life and effectively relax yourself.

Second, try writing down your worries and anxieties. For example, what is the worst outcome of something you are anxious about? Can you control the direction of this matter and let it try not to develop to the worst possible outcome? If there's something you can do, then all you need is action. If this matter is not under your control, then all we can do is accept. At this time, you can prepare a few commonly used inner os, such as "who loves who" and "love who", from time to time to nagging to yourself, the power of psychological cues is also very powerful.

The above two small methods are simple "palliative" methods. If we want to "cure the root cause", we may still rely on better behavior habits. To develop good behavior habits, it is necessary to cooperate with concepts and actions, and it is unreliable to rely solely on willpower.

Conceptually, a lot of times the lack of concentration is due to the worry and anxiety behind it, and there is often a deep fear behind the worry and anxiety. What is that fear? Digging it out allows us to focus better on the moment. When our attention is fully focused on the present moment, these fears disappear. For this problem, some quite best-selling books, such as "The Road Less Traveled" and "The Power of the Moment", have been explained. Because of these fears, we turn anxiety and pain into part of our own feelings, because when we regret the past, worry about the future, we gain a real sense of time. Living in the present moment means a loss of a sense of time. Over time, our brains are burdened with 100 things that will or must be done in the future, without focusing on one thing we can do now.

In terms of action, we only have to repeat the process of concentration over and over again, until the body forms a reflexive muscle memory. If it's difficult to focus on work or study at first, you can choose one thing you like first. For example, if I find that I like to walk, meditate, yoga, then I try to do as many of these things as possible, it is easier to maintain concentration by doing what I like, and this state of concentration or flow appears more often, so I can try to transplant this good state to other things in my life.

The duty replied | walk away

This article is proofread | Lucy

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