I don't know if you have ever encountered such a situation, that is, you are a person who has a good feeling for yourself, you think she also has a good feeling for you, and then they seem to have a good feeling for each other, and suddenly one side is cold, and then it is disconnected.
You may feel inexplicable, do not know what you have done wrong, that person disappeared, as if the previous ambiguity is your own delusion, the previous good feelings are false. In this case you may think that the person is scummy, but maybe he or she is actually an avoidant attachment personality.
What is avoidant attachment personality? According to his name, it can actually be seen that it is an escape from attachment-type emotional relationships, in other words, "I like you and have nothing to do with you" . The farther away you are, the more interested he is in you, and the closer you are, the more cold he becomes.
Avoidant attachment is divided into two types, one is estranged attachment, which belongs to "I like you is silent", this type of person will often like a person alone and silently digest this like, the person who is liked is completely unaware. This type of person belongs to a kind of internal friction, hurting himself but not hurting others; the other kind of fearful attachment, this kind of person is generally enthusiastic at the beginning of contact, but suddenly one day, you accidentally step into his "safe zone", he retreats to a distance farther than the stranger.
Ten years ago, a movie, and "Five Hundred Days with Summer" is about the avoidant attachment of love, the heroine Summer (summer) took the initiative to approach the male protagonist, confessed to the male protagonist, and then suddenly chose to leave when the male protagonist fell in love. Because for her, love is the spice of life, the lover is just a kind of "toy" in life, once she starts to get tired of toys, or the toys begin to threaten her private space, she has to choose to leave.
For people with avoidant attachment, love does not need to be serious, love hard when you love, and you will not feel regrets when you are separated. This attitude may be an absolute chic gesture in the presence of outsiders, but it is an absolute cruelty to their lovers.
See if there is an avoidant attachment personality around you, my advice is that it is best to stay away, it is really inseparable from the tutorial I will write about the avoidant attachment personality self-help and how to fall in love with the avoidant attachment personality later