01
Our modern marriages pay more and more attention to the new family, unlike in the past, two people still live with members of the original family after marriage, and now people will move out to live on their own after marriage.
And after marriage, they will put their new family in the first place, give priority to their own family construction, rather than considering the original family first, such a combination, in fact, is more conducive to the feelings between husband and wife, because if you are married and live with the elderly, there will be a lot of contradictions, resulting in cracks in the relationship.
Distance can isolate this problem, it is said that the fragrance is far away, and the people with the best relationship are easy to contradict each other if they stick together every day, let alone people who have such a relationship as a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law.
Of course, such a model has also slowly emerged in the past two or three decades, and there are still many people who are not used to this model, especially the elderly, who will rely more on their children and feel that their children should live with themselves after marriage, even if they do not live together, they will often interfere with the lives of couples.
Therefore, after two people get married, the relationship between them and the original family becomes very important, which is directly related to the stability of the marriage between the husband and wife.
02
Speaking of this, I immediately thought of a person, that is, Qiao Yicheng in "Children of the Qiao Family", after Qiao Yicheng and Ye Xiaolang got married, things continued to happen in his family, today his brother had something to find him, tomorrow his sister had something to find him, otherwise it was his father's business.
Although Ye Xiaolang did not say it in her mouth, her heart was very painful, because she herself was a person who had not received the warmth of the original family since she was a child, so she was cruelly separated from the original family and lived her own small life, so she also hoped to be like her and pay less attention to the affairs of the family.
Once, because she was going to Shanghai to apply for a visa, she needed to leave home for a few days, and when she came home after doing business, she pushed open the door, and the whole person was shocked, because Yicheng's brother and sister all lived at home, and the originally deserted and comfortable family of two became crowded and noisy because of the sudden addition of three people.
Ye Xiaolang heard about the original commission, although on the surface she understood and accepted, in fact, she was very unhappy in her heart, because she did not want her married life to be like this, she only wanted two people to live a quiet and quiet life.
After they moved in, xiao lang and them had a lot of friction, mainly with Simei, who either secretly used her lipstick or watched TV at home, making a loud noise and affecting her study.
The reason why Ye Xiaolang has such a big determination to study abroad is inseparable from Qiao Yicheng's big son, because she is very afraid that her future life will always be tied to this big son, and she feels afraid and suffocated.
If after she marries Qiao Yicheng, his family will not have these messy things to disturb their lives, Ye Xiaolang will not be so eager to go abroad, because she has escaped from her original family, it is really because there are too many things in the Yicheng family, which makes her troubled.
03
The pair of Qiao Yicheng and Ye Xiaolang is very typical, and there are many cases involved with the original family after marriage.
Qiao Yicheng loves his younger siblings very much, as if he were his own children, he is a very responsible big brother, what happens to his younger siblings, he is always the first to run in front.
To tell the truth, being his wife will be very tired, because he always regards the affairs of his younger brothers and sisters as more important than his own small family, and his sister needs money, he will give it without saying a word, nor will he consult with his wife, and there will be an accident at home, and he will directly lead people home without consulting with his wife.
It seems that he does not want to embarrass his wife, but in fact, his practice of cutting first and playing later does not take his wife seriously.
Xiao Lang's departure was right, because she couldn't get happiness from such a marriage, the happiness she wanted, Qiao Yicheng couldn't give, if she continued, she would be annoyed to death. She couldn't prevent Ichisei from contacting her younger siblings, and the best thing to do was to get a divorce.
We can understand Qiao Yicheng's love for his younger siblings, but we must also understand Ye Xiaolang's fear of this kind of marriage, she easily escaped from her original family through marriage, had her own new home, and did not expect to jump into Yicheng's original family.
There are many, many people like Joe Yicheng in this world, who have very deep feelings for his original family and regard things at home as very important.
For those in the original family, of course, they are happy, because there is always a person who carries things for them in front of them, and for his new family, it will be very unfavorable.
04
I am very much in favor of keeping a safe distance from their original families after two people get married.
Of course, keeping a distance does not mean that you will no longer have contact with them, I do not mean this, but that I will first focus on my own small family, and for the matter of the original family, if it is some more important, such as the illness and pension of parents, then of course it must be solved.
But for those trivial things, if they can solve themselves, they will solve them by themselves, and there is no need to abandon their new family to deal with them.
Don't look at these things small, if there are some small things every three to five to bother, the best husband and wife relationship will also be affected.
Two people get married, they should take this new family as a unit, two people work together to build, so that it will get better and better, if married, but also always put the original family in the most important position, then this new family will never be better.
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Article illustration | Stills from "Joe's Children"