Fate" and "luck" determine a person's life

Seeing this headline, you might be wondering, isn't this preaching fatalism or descent? In fact, on the contrary, I want to break the old concept that so-called birth determines fate, and hope that everyone can recognize themselves by recognizing the environment in which we live, and have a "good life" as much as possible.

When it comes to fate, many middle-aged people will have such an experience: no matter how hard they try, they seem to not get further recognition from society; on the contrary, if they do things step by step, it seems that they will not be much worse. It seems to be framed by these two lines, but in fact, this is fate.

A person who is small and rich can rely on good luck for a while. For example, I once had a neighbor sister who played at an over-level level during the college entrance examination, and she could not have even been admitted to Beijing University of Aeronautics and Astronautics or Beijing University of Science and Technology, but she was actually admitted to Tsinghua University. This incident allowed my alma mater to continue to play as a typical example of the college entrance examination for more than a decade, until the teachers who taught her and remembered this matter retired. Speaking of which, readers must be concerned about the trajectory of her later life. Once I met her at the alumni meeting and mentioned that good luck, but she said that in fact, she had suffered 5 years of sin at Tsinghua University, and what the trajectory of her life should be or what it should be, and it would not change because of a good luck.

There is never a shortage of lucky people in the world, and the same is true of people who win the lottery, and in the United States, almost all people who win the lottery will lose tens of millions of dollars to hundreds of millions of dollars in 10 years. Wu Xiaobo summed up in his book "The Big Failure" that China's early stock market adventurers were also like this. Of course, sociologists can also give more detailed statistics, showing that it is impossible to get rich and prosperous by just a momentary luck.

For most people, it is actually difficult to have good luck in a lifetime, of course, it will not always be unlucky all the time, about the latter point, I will further discuss in the book. Luck is temporary and has a strong randomness; but fate affects a person's life and plays a decisive role.

It is not easy for a person to be cared for by the god of destiny. If you want to have a good destiny, you must first understand the importance of life, that is, believing in life and confessing your destiny. Believing in fate is knowing that you can't do it, and confessing your fate is not going beyond the line that fate has drawn for yourself, and accepting what you can't get. Confucius said, "Do as you please, and do not exceed the rules." These three words, "not exceeding the rules," mean confessing one's destiny. Ancient Greece did not have Confucius, but their understanding of fate was similar to that of Confucius. Behind Zeus, the god of their gods, there is Moira, the goddess of destiny who controls the gods. Of course, I know that my statement is different from the education that many people receive from childhood today. We are taught that man will triumph over heaven, create miracles on earth, and challenge human limits, including, of course, changing one's destiny through effort, rather than accepting one's destiny as I call it. However, it is not difficult for people with a little logic to think clearly that the chicken soup for the soul that society (including some teachers) pours into young people cannot be taken seriously. If chicken soup for the soul really works, it should be fulfilled in the person who poured chicken soup himself, but in fact it does not.

Some people equate good birth with good fate, which is actually two different things, otherwise the Chongzhen Emperor would not have said it, hoping that his children and grandchildren would no longer be born in the imperial family. Similarly, for Cao Xueqin, we don't know whether he was born with a good fate or a bad fate. Being born well is just a good luck in life, which does not mean that a life can be good; vice versa, people born in poor families may not have a good life.

So what is fate? Different people have different understandings. For me, it depends mainly on two factors: environmental factors and our own direction for the future. The trajectory of life cannot go out of these two lines, and personal efforts, luck, etc. are just for us to fine-tune between these two lines. The United States of 1830-1840, because they caught up with the Industrial Revolution in the United States. People born in China's reform and opening up are happier than those who lived 10 years ago; those born in the Song Dynasty are better off than those born in the Ming Dynasty. Of course, the time of birth cannot be chosen, but the wisdom of "which mountain to go to and sing the song of which mountain" is what we should have, and the times need us to do what we do, which is to believe in fate. What is the result of unbelief? If you do not know how to protect yourself in a chaotic world, the result is needless to say; if you are born in a rare reign in human history, and still doubt its reality, you will lose all opportunities. In the process of China's development in the past 30 years, there has always been a voice that has been singing the decline of China, and some friends are always worried that China's economy will collapse, and they have always wanted to buy a house but dare not buy it. Twenty years later, these people find themselves empty-handed, completely missing out on the dividends of China's long-term economic growth. In the "Letter from Silicon Valley" column, I analyzed why China is in the best period of historical development from the perspective of economics, scientific and technological development and history, why China has hope, and if China's development opportunities are missed, all efforts have become half the work.

The second factor that determines the fate of an individual is in each person's own hands. The so-called fate is the way a person sees problems and does things, and that's it, but they determine a person's life. In my "Letters from Silicon Valley" column, I told the story of a friend who came from a poor background but always received the favor of the god of fate. He was successfully admitted to Peking University, like that, so he certainly wouldn't invest in such a company. Even for some companies that seem to be good, such as Xiaomi, he thinks that it is just one of N companies, no pricing power, will not bring huge cash, and he will not be interested.

Of course, his judgment may be wrong, and maybe Xiaomi will become a good company. But he didn't think it mattered, and he didn't intend to make all his money in the stock market. This friend never cares about how much money others make, for example, some people around us earned a sum of money from Baidu listing, and he didn't care about this one-time income, no matter how much. Although this has cost him countless opportunities to make quick money, he has never regretted it. Many people can rely on luck to make quick money and become small and rich, but it is impossible to be lucky for a lifetime; for him, if he pays attention to the one-time money of Baidu, he will lose the inherent way to see the problem, and finally not only can not earn money such as Google or Tencent, but also cannot achieve long-term compound growth in investment. This friend is very conscientious and never thinks about things that do not belong to him. He has no more resources than anyone else, but he only pays attention to what he can get in his own life, and he gets what he deserves.

A while ago, I talked to friends in the film and television circle about a familiar actor, everyone said that she was a bitter person, married not smoothly, investment was not smooth, a lifetime of hard work to act, and finally a busy life. I said that this is her bad fate, and she can't blame others. First, there is less reading, and second, the circle is too narrow, so that the insight and judgment are not high. There are many such people in history, such as Mark, who earned countless fees in the 19th century and wasted on investment. Twain. But if the knowledge of mortals is slightly wider, the circle of communication is slightly wider, and the understanding of things is a little more comprehensive, their lives will be much better. Whether in history or today, many people have had a bad career, usually due to fate, not lack of luck. The famous Han Dynasty general "Flying General" Li Guang did not receive a reward for his lifetime, and Wang Bo wrote the famous sentence "Feng Tang Yi Lao, Li Guang is difficult to seal" in the "Preface to the Tengwang Pavilion", which is a pity for him, and posterity is also uneven for Li Guangming because of reading this ancient famous passage.

However, objectively assessing that although Li Guang was famous, it was difficult to be crowned marquis by virtue of his military achievements. Li Guang's luck was not bad - he was caught by the Xiongnu to get out of danger, and at the same time, there were many opportunities, but they all missed. Therefore, it can only be said that Li Guang's life is really not good, why? For example, he missed the fighter plane, and Wei Qing, as a superior, sent someone to interrogate him, and he committed suicide in one fell swoop, and this way of dealing with the problem was obviously problematic. For another example, he was good at riding and shooting enemies, but according to Han Xin's point of view, this was only the courage of a puppet, not enough to be a marquis. There is no record in the Chronicle of History that Li Guang effectively organized a large army to kill the enemy, although he had such an opportunity.

Li Guang experienced more than 70 battles in his lifetime, but he did not train the basic qualities of generals (such as judging the hour and sizing up the situation mentioned in Sun Tzu's Art of War), which shows that there is a problem with his way of thinking, that is to say, the way of looking at problems and the way of handling problems have not reached the level of waiting. (For a more detailed introduction to this history, see "History, Biography of General Lee.") ）

Similar to Li Guang is Sun Ce during the Three Kingdoms period (in fact, in the last years of the Eastern Han Dynasty), who was keen on personal courage and was killed by bad people. This was his life, Guo Jia had already figured it out, and Sun Ce would eventually die at the hands of Xiao Xiao. Sun Ce had a lot of good luck, but no amount of good luck could change his life.

Some time ago, there was a report that a group of people were "walking" on the highway in the morning and were overturned by a taxi, causing one death and two serious injuries. Netizens commented that it was "not to do not die". In fact, this is also the life of those people, and their perspective on the problem is not whether it is appropriate and safe to do so, but that others dare not bump into them on the road. If you look around, there are people who don't take their lives seriously, and almost none of these people are decent.

Since fate is not innate, how is a person's fate determined? Let's imagine a scenario where we would react if someone slapped us in the face on the street.

All the reactions can be summed up in nothing more than three kinds: the first, a slap back: the second, recognize the phoenix, cover your face and walk away; the third, first calmly analyze, maybe we really should be fanned, then accept the lesson, maybe the other party is really a muddle, we may call the police to take care of him, of course, there may be someone who will find an opportunity to rectify him in the future and let him remember the lesson.

We will always encounter all kinds of problems and problems in our life experience, and they are like others or real life constantly slapping us. The attitude and treatment of these slaps determines our fate. For example, when we were in elementary school, we didn't do well in the first exam, what should we do? The first method is to tear the rolls, and even tear the students' rolls, which is equivalent to a slap back to the practice, and even some parents help the fans. The second method is to never learn again. Many people have told me that this life is lifeless" and "luck" determines a person's life

There is a good study, because when he was a child, the teacher discouraged his interest in learning, which is equivalent to covering his face and admitting it. Of course, we all know that this is a reason to excuse ourselves from not being a tool. The third way is to analyze the reasons, maybe we should work hard, maybe the teacher will correct our exam paper (this situation is there), maybe the teacher is not a good teacher at all, maybe the parents should not take their children to Disney on the first day of the exam... Next, according to different situations, find out how to improve and implement them.

There are many situations and reasons for people to be slapped in their lifetime, and they vary, but there is a high degree of consistency in the way a person treats them. People who are accustomed to fanning back have been slapping others all their lives, and those who recognize them have been recognizing their dreams all their lives. The famous British female prime minister Margaret Thatcher liked to say this:

Pay attention to your thoughts, because it determines your words and actions. Pay attention to your words and actions because it dominates your behavior; pay attention to your behavior because it becomes your habit. Pay attention to your habits because it shapes your character. Pay attention to your character, because it can determine your destiny.

This may be the origin of what we call "character determines destiny" today. In fact, what determines our fate also includes our habits, behaviors, and the way of thinking behind them. People who have problems with their way of thinking, the god of fate will never take care of them. Those who walk on the highway mentioned earlier are in a way of thinking that is wrong, to use the old Beijing saying, that is, everything is not cold.

The other extreme that East Asians love to go is to admit everything, of course, most people will comfort themselves and say, "A knife in the heart of the ninja word", indicating that they are "strong in the heart". For example, in the unit, a leader is eccentric, bullying him, work is let him do, when promoted is not to promote him, many people are thinking that they should work harder, be diligent, and strive to impress the heart of the leader, but the leader will bully him next time. This is equivalent to covering your face and acknowledging it.

I have heard some domestic parents teach their children, "Mom and Dad have no ability, you study well, and you will have a chance in the future." In fact, when they became academic bullies and went to a good university, they found that they still had no chance. Parents have no ability, just like being slapped by society or people around them, dreaming that their children will be able to turn over with good grades in the future, which is actually a manifestation of recognition. Treating life with an attitude of recognition will continue to be slapped by the world. Their fate was actually decided when they were treated with slaps from an early age.

In the United States, the situation is similar for many Asians. American universities can not treat Asian children fairly, the score requirements are much higher than other ethnic groups, most parents are the mentality of long-cherishing, let their children take more points. In fact, no matter how many points are scored on the test, it can only make the competition between Asians more intense. The fundamental way to solve the problem is to work to repeal the Affirmative Action Act, which discriminates against Asians, but the vast majority of Asian parents admit it when they talk about it.

In 2016, writer Liu Zhenyun said at the graduation ceremony of Peking University that Ah Q and Xiang Lin sister-in-law are the parents of Chinese, in fact, both of them belong to the people who have been slapped and recognized. A person's reaction to a slap actually determines the fate of his life.

When we have clearly recognized these factors that determine fate, when we have understood the ways of thinking of various wise people in ancient and modern China and abroad, and all kinds of people who are favored by fate, when we can use them to replace our own thinking and action of either acknowledging dreams or recklessly slapping people, we will have a good life. In today's environment in China, success is a high-probability event. Under such a premise, we have a good way of thinking, know how to do things most effectively, and it is difficult to think about success.

This book focuses on my views on life and the self-esteem of ancient and modern Chinese and foreign wise people

I elevated some wisdom to think about how to successfully live a wonderful life. At the same time, I shared my experience in career promotion and investment on the nature of business and the future world. Of course, the whole book revolves around the theme of personal refinement.