How can we make feelings heat up quickly? How can we firmly grasp a person's heart?
For such a problem, perhaps we will get used to feeling, of course, a little more enthusiastic, a little active, after all, the heart for the heart, the truth for the truth.
However, in fact, not everything in the world will be a harvest of hard work, and feelings are even more so.
Excessive enthusiasm sometimes only pushes the other party farther; excessive initiative is sometimes exchanged for not being cherished; blindly humble to get is only to be more despised!
Loving someone requires sincerity and enthusiasm, but everything must be measured.
In feelings, blind enthusiasm is actually blind.
As a woman, sometimes a little bit of appropriate coldness is more able to get the attention of the other party and more able to grasp the heart of a man.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="8" > is not too active</h1>
Someone said:
"Fish swimming in the water will forget that there is water; birds will fly in the wind and will not know that there is wind."
When people enjoy being loved, they are most likely to take the efforts of others for granted.
Loving a person, if you chase too tightly, love too full, will eventually only make the other party become accustomed, so as to forget to give back.
I have seen such a story on the Internet:
A girl likes a boy very much, and in order to be able to be with a boy, the girl is always very proactive.
Take the initiative to call and contact, take the initiative to ask the boy to watch a movie, as long as the boy needs, the girl can put all her things first in the boy's business.
However, the girl's initiative not only did not exchange the same feedback from the boy, but the boy became more and more indifferent to the girl, and even hurt the girl unscrupulously.
The girl was particularly disappointed in this and wanted to let go.
And when the girl disappears and no longer appears in front of the boy, the boy discovers his heart for the girl, and then becomes enthusiastic and begins to actively pursue the girl.
There is a saying:
"Easy to get, often not cherished."
It's heartfelt, but it's real.
When people get along with each other, one party blindly takes the initiative, which is often depriving the other party of the right to take the initiative.
In his heart, he will feel that he has eaten you, he will become arrogant, he will become perfunctory, he will not take you seriously.
Never be the one who is always active, but be appropriately cold. Because feelings are two people, only by running in both directions can we go long.
Otherwise, just a person's initiative, you are tired, he does not cherish, such feelings will one day be unsustainable.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="23" > is not too clingy</h1>
Chen Guo wrote in "Good Solitude":
"Man and man, like two kingdoms, each should maintain a wide, natural and comfortable territory, and even a neutral zone between the territories."
A really good relationship is never two people sticking together all the time, but knowing how to be intimate while leaving a certain personal space for each other.
Being too clingy, and even desperate to tie two people tightly together, will only make the other party depressed, suffocated, and thus want to escape.
Knowing such a couple, the man is gentle and honest, and the girlfriend is the goddess he has had a crush on for three years.
However, to everyone's surprise, two people have been together for only a year and the man has proposed to break up.
The reason why two people have such an ending is not because of a third party, nor because they do not love, but because of the girl's "clingy".
In the year together, not only do girls have to accompany men every weekend, but they can't meet each other during normal working hours, they make more than a dozen phone calls a day, and even men travel on business, and girls have to follow.
In this way, men become more and more depressed and eventually can't stand to bring up a breakup!
There is a sentence in Rodin's Lover:
"I just can't get it. Whether it is harder to love, or to endure love is more difficult. ”
Loving others too full will hurt, and being loved too much by others will also be a disaster.
A truly comfortable relationship is not always glued together, but at a distance not far away, keeping a concern, watching or accompanying, and then releasing the warm afterglow, a little bit.
Only in such a moderate intimacy can we make each other relaxed and make the relationship between two people pure.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="35" > not humble and flattering</h1>
Zhang Ailing said in a letter to Hu Lancheng:
"When I meet you, I become very low and very low, low to the dust, but I like it in my heart, and flowers bloom from the dust."
It is undeniable that there are too many women who are deeply in love, who will love very humblely, even in order to get love, and do not hesitate to lose themselves.
However, you think that your humility can be exchanged for a touch of pity from the other party, in fact, he will not love you in the dust.
In the TV series "The First Half of My Life", after Luo Zijun was abandoned by Chen Junsheng, she cried and begged Chen Junsheng not to leave him.
As a result, not only was it of no use, but it made Chen Junsheng look down on her even more, and he chose to leave without looking back.
In the movie "The Winner is King", it is said:
"I just want face, and my self-esteem is particularly heavy." As soon as I find out that the other person doesn't like me that much, I will sentence the relationship to death. I don't want to force myself to like others, and I never force others to like me. ”
Humility does not exchange love, on the contrary, it will only push love farther and farther.
When you find a man about to leave you, what you have to do is not to pray, but to keep yourself arrogant and cold.
Even if, in the end, love is irretrievable, at least you retain the minimum dignity and decency.
In the world, people who love you always appreciate your proud appearance, and maintaining your pride can make it easier for you to be respected and loved.
As the saying goes: "Everything has a degree, but if you pass, you will be sluggish"
Love someone and don't always put yourself in a passionate position.
Sometimes, with a proper cooling, you will find that you tend to get more lucky and pampered.
END
Author: A writer who likes to express his personal views in words and focuses on the field of emotion.