Obviously I didn't do anything, but I always felt very tired, and I didn't have the energy to do anything; today's plan was not completed, I knew that I wouldn't sleep lately; I felt that my colleagues didn't seem to like me lately...
These are all things that I am going through, playing out in my head every day, and many things are imagined by myself, and in the end it didn't happen at all, but I kept imagining the terrible results torturing myself.
This feeling is too unpleasant, making myself physically and mentally exhausted, and fighting against it for 4 years, I realized that this kind of mental exhaustion is what psychology calls "internal friction", to put it bluntly, it is idle and nothing to torture yourself.
If you don't stop it in time, it is easy to "go crazy" and slowly go into the darkness, so I began to reflect, trying to find the source of my internal friction, and make changes to this.
Today, Miko will share her experience with everyone, may you and I be able to stay away from internal friction and stop loss in time.
Why do you have internal friction
1. Not confident, always denying yourself. Accustomed to only looking at the shortcomings, and ignoring their own advantages, even a large number of people often compare their own disadvantages with the advantages of others.
2. Introverted and extremely sensitive. I am very concerned about the opinions of the people around me, and the casual words and eyes of others can be entangled for a long time, and always think of the bad.
3. Excessive anxiety, can't let go of the past and worry about the future. When I think about what might happen in the future, I am anxious and afraid, and I fall into a dead cycle.
4. Can't see their own strength, self-requirements are too high. Always make a very ideal plan for yourself, force yourself to execute, and once the results are not satisfactory, you will have emotional collapse and anxiety.
Wang Xiaobo said: All human suffering is essentially anger at one's own incompetence.
The nature of anxiety also fits this view: desire is greater than ability, and there is an extreme lack of patience, desire is rushed, and action is easy to take refuge.
What kind of people are prone to internal friction
1. Pleasing personality, they are accustomed to pleasing each other to achieve the goal of the trick, but often the bamboo basket hit the water empty, the heart regrets the beginning, the action is still as usual.
It is meaningless to please others, but let yourself miss many opportunities to fight for benefits.
2. Introverts, this kind of person likes to immerse themselves in their own world, there are many inner dramas, love to think wildly, and no one to talk about, they will be bored in their hearts, and they "fight" with themselves.
3. Highly sensitive people, this kind of person is keen to speculate on the minds of others, and a casual sentence of others can affect their emotions, and repeatedly speculate on each other's thoughts in their hearts.
The hazards of internal friction
1. Hesitate to do things and miss many good opportunities.
2. Influenced by others, afraid to communicate with others, closed to self.
3. Make yourself very tired and end up with nothing.
4. Disgusted with oneself, thinking that one is worthless, extremely inferior or even abandoning oneself.
How to get rid of internal friction
1. Refuse to compare, whether it is work, life or marriage, do not compare, there is no harm without comparison.
Life is very long, tired, irritable, disappointed will have, do not lose yourself because of anyone and things, the more unlucky the day, the more you can not give up on yourself, grit your teeth to force yourself, and then take a few steps, God will give the way.
2. Accept yourself, plan your goals reasonably, and reduce your self-requirements. Not everything has to be perfect, and to pursue perfection too much is to live with yourself.
People will have shortcomings, and they will also have shining points. There is nothing wrong with the dark night of life, the darker the night, the more beautiful the moon and stars.
3. Read high-quality books and calm yourself down. When you are not strong enough, not good enough, instead of busy with meaningless socializing, it is better to spend more time to read, improve skills, and improve yourself, so that your world will be bigger and better fight against internal friction.
4. Cultivate hobbies and distractions. For example, planting flowers, fitness, etc., keep yourself physically and mentally busy, and focus on the immediate time without energy to think wildly.
99% of anxiety comes from wasting time and not doing things well, and the best solution is to act, do things seriously, focus on the present moment, and overcome those empty moments.
5. Self-regulate emotions and not be a deserter. If the ending isn't what you want, fight until the dust settles. Don't always dwell on the past and don't get carried away, and don't screw over what hasn't happened yet, when you feel it's too late, it's the earliest time.
The best time to plant a tree is ten years ago, followed by now. When everyone is frustrated, please sort out your emotions before solving the problem.
All the problems you face are the gap between expectations and reality. Yesterday has passed and cannot be changed, tomorrow is not coming is difficult to predict, all we can do is live well in the present and enjoy life.
The above is Miko after years of internal friction to get a few points of experience, I hope to be able to help you one or two, friends have any good suggestions, please share with you in the comment area, and finally leave a small ❤ encouragement under Miko, but also give yourself a silent encouragement!