The chairman and his wife decided to make up for a honeymoon and fly to Paris. When checking in your luggage, the airport employee asked his wife: Do you have fragile items in your luggage? The wife thought for half a day and nodded: Yes. Then she began to flip, and the chairman was also helping, about half an hour. In the end, the two men turned over two packs of instant noodles, almost laughing the people around them to death.
I have a crush on a female colleague of the company for a long time, and today I finally found the opportunity to invite her to lunch. I happily handed her the menu, and the female colleague glanced at it and said, "I can do it, you can do whatever you want." Then I ordered this signature dish. To alleviate the embarrassment, I kept talking, but my colleagues were not very interested and just looked down at their phones. Just when I was helpless, an old neighbor from many years ago came in, saw me and asked: Oh, hadron! I met you here, and your home has recently been demolished!
After work, the landlady invited me to dinner and said, "I know everything that my sister likes you, I know, I'm busy and don't have time to accompany you." In fact, I am also thinking, in order to pursue the person I like, I am willing to give up everything I have, but when I give up all this, will you still accept my love?" It's not my reality, if she's not the boss, there's no competitive advantage at all. Before I could say anything, she continued, "Treat my sister well!" I was silent. She said breathlessly, "You don't have anything to say to me?" I thought about it for a moment and said, "If there is an afterlife, I would like to be your sister, even if we can't enter the palace of marriage, I can be a relative you can never give up!" The landlady suddenly got angry: "Roll, roll me!" You are so ruthless! "This logic is not right, she said that she gave me to my sister, why are she still angry?"
It was my Nth blind date that year, and it felt good, and I felt good about it, and I thought it was stable this time. Ask me what year it was when I was separated? Me: I'm in the nineties! Who knew she said this: I'm in ninety-one, and I don't like being younger than me. Blind date has failed again, and it is such a reason...
Girlfriend took me to see the parents, after eating, her grandmother proposed to play mahjong, her grandfather agreed, and then 4 of us began to play, a dollar at the bottom, as of the afternoon, I won more than 600 yuan, her grandparents were angry, I proposed not to let me go, there was no way to continue to play, until 12 o'clock in the evening, I lost the winning money back, then grandpa said: "Too late, don't go!" I resolutely resigned, and when I went out, I heard my grandmother say, "This is a fool, and I haven't stayed for an afternoon." ”
At night, my brother called and said intermittently: Brother, my girlfriend is cheating, I feel that life has no meaning. I was shocked to hear it, because the last time I met his girlfriend at the party, the girl was gentle and virtuous, and she didn't look like someone who could do dirty things. The brother sneered and said: Can't be wrong! I saw her and a man walking arm in arm into the hotel. I have never encountered such a thing, I don't know how to calm my brother's emotions, so I try my best to comfort him: Woman, since there is a problem with the style, you just break up. After a year and a half, when your mood is stable, it is not said that you will usher in a new sexual encounter. What's so terrible about you being so young, and now that the divorce rate is so high, you can't have to die or live separately, hear me?
Life is full of tears. On the bus, a little Lori didn't know why she was crying, and she couldn't help it. Finally she pointed at me and said: You are crying, Ma Ma will not want you, let you give this uncle over. Little Lori actually stopped crying immediately, and said: Ma Ma I don't want to live with this uncle, my uncle looks so good, looking scared of people. After saying that, he dug into her arms...
The man he liked was drunk and finally had a chance to be alone with him, helped him to my accommodation, helped him take off his coat, slowly reached into his pants pocket with his hand, pulled out his mobile phone, and sent me a text message to myself: I like you, be my girlfriend. I replied: Okay. Then sat by his side and enjoyed the night.
The neighbor two dogs have been pursuing me! After dinner, I went downstairs to cool off, saw a new car parked on the side of the road, the two dogs came out of the car, asked me how the car was, do you like it? Before I could reply, my little nephew ran over and protected me: Don't think you want to soak my aunt when you buy a new car! Unless you buy me a toy car too! Nima, almost sold by this bear child!
I remember raising a big white rabbit when I was a child, talking to it every day, one day my second uncle came to our house, and my parents felt that there was nothing to entertain, so they slaughtered my big white rabbit. I cried very sadly, and that night I ate three bowls with tears in my eyes.
Quarrel with female tickets, cold war... When I woke up in the morning and found that there was no longer her in the house, I didn't care too much, so I washed up and went downstairs to the restaurant for breakfast. When I went to the restaurant and ordered a bowl of noodles, when the noodles came up, Yu Guang saw the female ticket and a strange man talking and laughing at the corner table, I glanced at it and continued to eat casually, and when I was halfway through the meal, the female ticket came to me and said: Are you not jealous? I was stunned for a moment, and she didn't say I really forgot! "The owner! Add some vinegar to me! ”
The family has a second wife, and recently made up her mind to lose weight and resolutely not eat sweet things. Yesterday in the refrigerator saw uneaten chocolate, all kinds of saliva, tangled, and finally had to let me eat one, I just licked into my mouth, just saw her crouching next to her, poor Baba said: Is it delicious? You sigh and give me a sniff! Give me a smell! Smell !!!
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