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"Why are women less and less reluctant to get married now?" There is such a hot search question on the Internet.
Under this issue, the comments below are very polarized.
Some people said: "It's not that they don't want to get married, but that none of them want it, and now women are too picky, their own strength is not good, and their vision is high, so they can't get married." ”
Someone said: "Now women are not worse than men, they can live well, why should they find a man to drag themselves down." ”
Some people also said: "Today's men are more and more unreliable, women can only rely on themselves, rather than getting married and involved in risks, it is better to be alone." ”
There are many comments below, but there are very few ideas, and most of them are blind confrontations between the two camps.
What they say is actually not correct, most of them are partial and "stereotyped", and it is because of these wrong perceptions that the two sides are in a hostile camp.
So what is the reason why women are reluctant to get married? The answers of these three post-80s women are very reasonable.
1. Xiaoqin, post-80s: Now women are independent enough, financially independent, emotionally independent, men are not a necessity.
Marriage is just an option that men can have, but not a necessity.
With the advent of the new era, the concept of feudal society has slowly faded, the old customs and old rituals no longer exist, and now women are more respected, and the social status between men and women is gradually becoming equal.
There are two kinds of women's independence, one is emotional independence and the other is economic independence.
In the past, the status of women in feudal society was not high, and the education and guidance they received were also rigid and single, so before they got married, they could not even go out and show their faces, which was what was previously called "everyone's bridesmaids", so they simply did not have time to know their friends, did not have the right to do what they liked, and it was difficult for natural spiritual emotions to be independent.
And now in the new era of equality between men and women, men and women have no difference at all, women have their own right to choose, they can make their own friends at will, and then choose what they like, and then open up their own spiritual world, naturally there is no lack of emotional dependence.
The reason why women in the past had to get married was because there was inequality between men and women in the past, so most women actually did not have the opportunity to be educated, naturally they could only engage in some low-cost labor and manual work, naturally they could not support themselves and their families, and they could only rely on men who were better educated and had more choices, and their social status was naturally inferior.
And now men and women are equal, everyone receives the same education, women are naturally not worse than men, everyone's opportunities are the same, men can make a lot of money, women can make a lot of money, when women's economic independence, they naturally have more choices.
Now there is no difference between women and men, men can do things, women can also do, women do not have to rely on men to survive, have their own girlfriends and friends to exchange emotions, have their favorite emotional hobbies to pass the time, so men are naturally not necessary.
In reality, many single women, the reason why they are not willing to get married, in fact, the main reason is because there is no shortage of those things, whether it is emotional or financial, they can be self-sufficient, naturally can be independent.
2. Xiao Xue, post-80s: Too much pursuit of perfection, the pursuit of poetry and far away, let me be confused.
Xu Zhimo said: "I will look for my only soul mate in the vast sea of people, and I am fortunate, I can't, I am destined, and that's it." ”
Perhaps the perfect love story is too much, and many modern women are too much to pursue perfect love and marriage, so they abandon reality and pursue the ethereal poetry and far away.
It is said that love is: "Starting from appearance, respecting talent, conforming to character, long than kindness, and finally character." ”
But this kind of love is difficult to achieve, because people are like this, and everyone has a heart for beauty.
Many times, people will have a misunderstanding, thinking that the person they like at a glance is their soul mate and the best object.
But in fact, most of the people we like at first sight are objects that we can't reach, and that may be just our most primitive impulse to beautiful things.
It's like many young boys and girls like the handsome guys and girls on the silver screen at a glance, but does this mean that it is their best object?
Such a statement must be wrong.
It's like a girl who likes Hu Ge at first sight, which is normal, because Hu Ge is handsome and meets most of the aesthetics, but Hu Ge doesn't necessarily like her, because the gap between them is very large, and the perspectives and status of both sides are different.
For women, in order to have perfect love and marriage, the first condition is the equality of both parties, and only in this way will there be a possibility of the future, otherwise, everything will only be a fantasy.
The philosopher Alain de Botton once said:
"A lot of the pain in marriage comes from the misleading romantic view of love."
No one is perfect, and gold is not perfect. We can't find a person who is 100% satisfied, nor can we find someone who will permanently satisfy us.
Any definite relationship is bound to go through the polishing of time and the test of years.
Most marriages slowly degenerate from imperfection to perfection.
3. Xiao Ke, post-80s: unhappy marriages see too much, afraid of choosing the wrong one, afraid of marriage.
With the continuous increase of life pressure, the divorce rate is also constantly rising, but also because unfortunate marriages have seen too much, whether it is from film and television works, friends around, parents and elders of the unfortunate cases, will make many modern women, subconsciously have a fear of marriage.
The reason why many women are afraid of marriage is not because they don't want to get married, but because they are afraid of choosing the wrong choice and then ruining their own happiness for a lifetime.
But in fact, marriage is only a choice in life, that is not all, if you do not regard marriage as the most important, in fact, the pressure of choice will be much less.
Women should understand that perfect marriages are rare, and unsatisfactory is the norm in marriage.
For most people, no matter how they choose, it may be "wrong", and with such psychological construction, we will reduce our expectations of our partners too much.
We should understand the essence of marriage, that is, to take the "right path" with the "wrong person".
Why modern women are more and more reluctant to get married, in fact, the above three reasons are fundamental.
Modern men and women should let go of stereotypes and prejudices about each other and contact with each other, because only in this way can they truly break the ice and enter happiness at the same time.
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Today's topic: "Do you think you're right"?