I have a bit of a stubborn temper and a bit of a temperament (just get angry). According to my father's meaning, when I saw me like this when I was a child, I always felt that my brain was a little bit wrong, and I always said: Can this guy grow up? What if I grow up? Just a similar question!
Image from National Geographic
Indeed, I heard my grandfather say that someone else came to our house to complain, saying that I took someone else's things.
I really didn't take it, but when I was a child, I was a little stupid, I ran slowly, and I was seen by others! But I really didn't take his family's things, and then my grandfather said two words to me, and I was very angry, especially angry, and I was stunned to stand outside for a day, crying while standing, just to express my dissatisfaction and grievances.
I was stupid, I couldn't talk, I wasn't too active, and I was afraid to say hello to people I didn't know well before I went to high school. In fact, I know it in my heart, I just don't know how to express it, how to say it, and I am particularly afraid of saying the wrong thing and doing the wrong thing.
Before you think about it, maybe this is the impact of the original family! Because I know that once I do something wrong and say the wrong thing, my parents will definitely scold me and even beat me!
Hahahaha, I am not saying bad things about my parents, my hometown is rural, my parents do not have much education and culture, very ordinary.
At that time, I didn't feel anything different, because the little friends around me did something wrong, and their parents also beat them, some of which were even worse than my parents (hahaha)!
Slowly, go to high school, go to college, go to graduate school, see more, be bold, like to chat with others, take chat as a kind of fun, understand others at the same time, share some of their own ideas.
This is also a process of self-growth, from enjoying chatting with others to liking to be alone; from enjoying sharing with others, to learning to shut up in the right place!
I like to be alone more and more, not because I don't like to talk anymore, maybe I don't know what to say (haha, deep!). ）。
Sometimes, I would say to my wife: I want to become a writer, write out what I want to say, the words in my heart, and then I will look at it, read it, stand when I read the words I write, and think about how I feel when I write these words.
So I envy those writers who can turn their words into a thought, a life, a realm...! Then convey it to us in words and let us feel it.
In this life, whether it is everywhere to the sun, or all the way to the mud, loneliness is a norm. A person's maturity is not how good at communicating with people, but good at living peacefully with loneliness, loneliness before confusion, loneliness after growth.
This is me, with a glass heart. The following text is very much in line with my current state of mind: once upon a time I had a wish that I would be good to everyone and that everyone would be good to me. I want to be properly placed by others, collected well, carefully preserved, so as not to surprise me, to avoid my suffering, to avoid my upheaval and displacement, to save me from wandering around.
Recently, I suddenly realized that it is impossible!
As Jia Pingwa said in "Walking Alone": I am a person who does not like to take the initiative, although the soul is interesting but does not like to express, but also stubborn, but also slow and hot. It is lucky to meet people who understand me, and it is normal not to meet them, slow heat, silence, like to be alone, three views are positive, more affectionate than you think, but also more indifferent than you think.
Precocious people are more late-maturing, maybe it's me!
The image comes from National Geographic Magazine, if there is infringement, please contact the author to delete!