Last week, we launched a call for comments on the "difference between love and marriage," and many people of different genders, ages, and experiences expressed their opinions and experiences. What is the difference between love and marriage, these two closely related things? Let's take a look at the understanding of KY fans -
01.
Love is
Marriage is
Insights from newly promoted mothers on the first anniversary of marriage.
02.
I am married.
Love: Kiss, Momo, where to play today? There are so many new and strange things happening today, people want to share it with you; at the beginning of the marriage: Husband, what do you want to eat for dinner today? What happened to my colleagues at work today, do you want to hear it? After a period of marriage: Husband, have you dumped the garbage? Did the clothes dry? There is no soy sauce at home, so I have time to buy it back by the way.
03.
32 years old, looking around at friends and colleagues. Love can sometimes span age, family background, and even three views. But as soon as you get married, you will expose many real problems nakedly, such as who does housework, how to take care of parents when they are sick, and who brings children, these seemingly small things can make the marriage collapse.
04.
Love is two people eating three meals, snuggling up to each other for warmth; marriage is relatives and neighbors, noisy entanglement and compromise. Love is dramatic, marriage is logical.
05.
Before marriage, I think that my boyfriend is good to me, sweet words and occasional small surprises. After getting married, the problem of money, the relationship with each other's parents, and even the relationship between two families, the education of children, the distribution of housework, the solution to problems in life, the thoughtfulness and comfort when depressed, how to make some indispensable little fun in the face of tedious and lengthy life... All become the criteria for judging a good husband. Reliable people do not necessarily have money, rich people do not necessarily concentrate, concentrated do not necessarily have the ability, those who have the ability may not have time to accompany you, and you who have time to accompany you do not necessarily love. Where life is satisfactory, everything is only half satisfactory.
06.
Love is the emotional model, marriage is the economic system.
It is enough to be in love as long as you can like each other. Marriage must take into account the distribution of property.
07.
Marriage and love are two completely different things. Love is a hormonal thing, a sexual attraction between the opposite sex, an instinctive human need. Marriage is a business, a company (that is, a family) that two partners jointly run with capital, skills, and labor shares. So love as long as two people like each other is good; and marriage needs to be managed, needs to create value, just like the company pursues profits, only profits can survive.
In general, a stable marriage should be based on the ability of both parties, in any form, to create value for the family together on a relatively balanced level. If this balance goes wrong and the value created by both parties deviates significantly, the marriage will most likely lose its stable foundation. This explains why some people cheat in marriage and eventually return to the family, because they are only sexually attracted to other people in marriage, and the basis for running the family is still stable.
08.
Love can rush forward desperately, love can have no money. But marriage does not work, marriage must live a life, marriage must have an economic basis.
23 years old, single. I don't know if I'm right about this, but I do think so now.
09.
Love is connection, in some ways (mental, physical, spiritual). It is inexplicable attraction, it is the other party that gives you sparks, inspiration, chemistry.
Marriage is a commitment and a responsibility, and on the basis of love two people need resource matching and value exchange. It is an alliance that works together to achieve the goals of life.
10.
unmarried. I think that love-marriage, at its core, can be understood as love-love, corresponding to the noun-verb, that is, instinctive-action. The occurrence of love can be unthinking, irrational, instinctive, even subconscious, and uncontrolled; while the occurrence of marriage is selective, reflecting subjective initiative, restraining one's instinct to have love with many people, and being responsible for this choice.
11.
When you are in love, give you what you like, you are happy with yourself and happy together, the most is the attraction of the heartbeat and the three views; in marriage, if you do not want to do well, you will be liberated, share the responsibility and share the risk, and work together with the frequency.
12.
Falling in love for four years and getting married this year, it feels like a natural transition to the relationship. What does not change is the mode of mutual appreciation, mutual recognition, and mutual care. But marriage also means more responsibility, not only the social constraints of the relationship on both parties, but also the contribution to each other's families. Some people say that romantic relationships are looser and freer, but they don't know that there is no absolute freedom. Marriage draws the boundaries of freedom, but rather a further description of one's social attributes.
13.
My mom and I said, "Being in love is a matter for two people, and marriage is a matter for two families." Love is still more free than marriage.
14.
Three years in love and nearly two years of marriage, I think: the biggest difference between marriage and love is the high degree of integration of economic interests. Marriage is the legal binding of the relationship between two people, since the day of receiving the certificate, our income and expenditure are common, the family relationship is common, and the risks and challenges we face are also common.
On the basis of mutual good feelings, try to find a person with equal social status and who can share risks to establish a romantic relationship, and then observe whether the other party's thinking mode, personality concept and living habits and other aspects have essential conflicts with themselves, and then consider entering marriage, which is a more feasible way for contemporary people to protect themselves and obtain happiness.
15.
Marriage should be the continuation of love, the watershed of quantitative change to qualitative change, and an insurance and commitment to feelings; love is the premise of marriage, or the premise of a happy marriage.
16.
I, male, 17 years old, sophomore in high school, in love for three years, girlfriend is the same age as me.
For me, love is about doing everything you can, overcoming all odds, and being with the person you love. Marriage, on the other hand, is the integration of two people's lives, adding things other than love to love, and this life is not separated no matter what. From a child who is immature but firmly believes in love.
17.
There should be no difference between a good marriage and a good love. In love there is the same sense of responsibility as marriage, and in marriage there is the same happiness as love.
18.
The biggest difference between love and marriage is that marriage has a legal age, while love does not.
19.
Divorced for three years. I used to think that marriage was marriage and love was love. Love is a throbbing sensation, marriage is the result of all the known conditions brought into the formula, so there was no choice of love in the first place. After 12 years of marriage, when there is no conflict in the ordinary life, you can endure and survive; however, when you encounter difficulties, you find that the relationship is really fragile and cannot withstand the test.
20.
To be in love is to be together, and to be married is to be together all the time. - My husband
21.
He can fall in love with me, but marry someone else.
22.
It is the boyfriend who is in love, and it is the mother-in-law who is looking for marriage.
23.
When you grow up, you are forced to marry if you are unlucky, but few adults are forced to fall in love. That's the difference.
24.
Marriage is the tie of the interests of two people. I used to have 100 to give you 30 and you were happy to have 30 white. But after getting married, 50 out of my 100 are already yours, and if I don't want to make 100 and just want to earn 20, it's equivalent to 40 less for you... Whether you value these 40 more or me more depends on how our relationship is.
25.
Love is a way of personal growth (although it sounds selfish), marriage is a stage test of growth results; and this test is judged by whether you feel happy, but it doesn't matter if you have a high score or a low score.
26.
The difference between love and marriage is a marriage certificate.
27.
unmarried. I feel that the essence of love and marriage is the exchange of interests, and you can get emotions, flesh, monetary value and so on from each other. But marriage may be more demanding in some way.
28.
For me, the most important meaning of marriage is the official declaration of "separation from the original family".
29.
Love is the joy of the first sight, marriage is a long time.
30.
Two days ago, I was listening to the third-grade baby class, and suddenly a little girl complained to the class teacher: "Some people say that I am in love with XX!" ”
The class teacher asked her what is love, she said: "Love is getting married and having children..." The same table with her said: "Love is two people staying together every day!" Another little boy said, "Being in love is when you have difficulties and I want to be by your side." ”
I was amazed at the maturity of the third graders and laughed at their childish understanding. But how could my own understanding of love go beyond theirs?
The author says:
When writing this issue, I specifically went to see the fifth part of the Civil Code of the People's Republic of China, Marriage and Family. It clarifies the basic marriage system of monogamy in our country and stipulates marriage from various aspects such as marriage, property, family, children, divorce, and adoption.
In the process of reading, I found that the rules and regulations that are morally constrained in love have become a stricter constraint in the form of laws and regulations in marriage.
For example, if someone "steps on two boats" in love, there is a high probability that they will be scolded as "scum"; but the Civil Code clearly stipulates that "bigamy is prohibited." It is forbidden for a spouse to cohabit with another person. Then the "two boats" behavior in marriage is not just a "scum" word can be summarized.
These regulations make me feel both complicated and secure, but also less emotional and impulsive, more rational thinking and weighing. I think this is probably the difference between love and marriage.
But that's just my family's word.
People's exploration, praise and criticism of love and marriage have never stopped from ancient times to the present. In the new era, we begin to put forward new understandings and new questions about them, and we also have new demands on people in love and marital relationships.
But no matter how society changes, life will always be our own, just like people drinking water, cold and warm self-knowledge. What we want to pursue is not the most "right" conclusion, but the relationship that is best for us.
Today's Interaction: Is there a message that says what you think? Do you have any different views on love and marriage? Everyone is welcome to discuss it in the comments section