I feel that my child's rebellious period came a little early, and I read the relevant information to know that my child can have more than one rebellion.
The child on the data has three rebellious periods:
1. At the age of 2-3, this is the child's first entry into the rebellious period, called the "baby rebellion period";
2. 7-9 years old, the child's second rebellious period, called the "child rebellion period";
3. 12-18 years old, the third rebellious period, called the "adolescent rebellious period".
My friend asked me for help, saying that I was still quite calm when her baby rebelled, comforting her that her child was growing up and that parents should have enough patience.
When things fall on you, find yourself
Facing is not much better, my baby has also entered a period of rebellion, and it is really a bit unbearable to be a mother.
Dabao is now in the fifth grade, from a first-grade honor student to a middle school student, and then from the teacher's mouth, it is possible to slide to the bottom of the class. I began to panic, so I became more and more strict with the daily activities of the child, and the scolding for making mistakes became louder and louder, but the more I criticized him, the more rebellious he was, and the relationship between mother and child became more and more tense.
In fact, my heart also wants my child to grow up happily, but how can I do it? Before I didn't have children of my own, I understood the pressure of children, and now I am also an anxious mother on the Internet?
Therefore, I also asked my old classmates engaged in education for help, how to deal with the child's new rebellious period, the old classmate only gave me one suggestion, that is, to watch the movie "Children Are Not Stupid" with their children.
Then, picking a clean afternoon, I called Dabao to my side and asked him to accompany me to watch the "Kids Are Not Stupid" recommended by my movie classmates. My transformation began with accompanying my son to watch the movie, and I cried at the end of the movie. My son also had tears in his eyes, and at this time I took the initiative to apologize to him: "Son, I'm sorry!" Since giving birth to a younger brother, my mother has spent too little time with you and is too demanding in my studies, so I should probably care about your love and give you more encouragement. Will you share your likes and dislikes with me? ”
The son nodded with tears in his eyes. My son talked to me a lot that day, and he said that he liked to play basketball, liked to play football, liked to play the flute, and proudly told me that he had broken the school record by sitting up. When he told me this, his eyes lit up, radiant, and full of confidence. Instead of the usual back when I ask him to do this and that, he responds to me with a simple "hmm", unwilling to turn around mechanically.
The son said that in the movie "Children Are Not Stupid", the father did not know how to express his love for his son, but he finally exchanged his life for his son's return. He looked at me with sincere eyes and said, "Mother, fatherly love, great motherly love, selflessness, in fact, I understand these truths, you can feel your kindness to me, but you have been criticizing me and letting me have no opportunity to speak and express." ”
That day I was surprised to find that my son was actually very talkative, not as bad as I thought, and the child was not stupid. He has his own hobbies, is positive and optimistic, and thinks independently. I often use busyness as an excuse not to communicate with the child, inadvertently insulting the child, and the irony is deeply stung by his young heart. Ignoring each other's sincere, face-to-face peace of mind is the most effective way to communicate, which is the bridge to convey emotions.
After that, we made an agreement not to hide things, communicate in time, and arrange time reasonably for learning and sports. I found that my son was slowly changing, and he was willing to ask for my opinion and share his likes and dislikes. Together, we also developed a housework execution form, a study plan, a travel plan, etc., although my son is still making mistakes. The contradiction between mother and child still exists, but it has been able to effectively communicate and encourage each other, and the new mental outlook has gradually improved under the persistence of efforts.
Don't always play the role of an elder with your child, try to let go of your identity and be calm and friend with your child, and your child is more willing to communicate with us. Today's children, whether what they say to adults is right or wrong, they will find their own answers, and simple preaching is no longer suitable for children at this stage, because the process of preaching children has long closed the door of their hearts.
Children are not stupid, parents should participate in the growth of children with a calm attitude, let go of anxiety, let go of unrealistic expectations.