A few days ago, I traveled to another city on business and met an old classmate who had not been in contact since graduating from high school.
In the past nearly seven or eight years, we have gradually stepped into this threshold from the original spirited teenager.
Two people who are nearly thirty years old, the topic of meeting and talking can not avoid marriage.
He tentatively asked me when I planned to get married, and I was secretly helpless, and I could only say: "Go with the flow, wait until you meet the person you like." ”
For my answer, he also seems to be deeply touched.
Lighting a cigarette in one hand and spinning boringly with the car keys in the other, saying yes, it's too hard to meet someone you like.
Girls who have met their hearts in the past can immediately go up to talk and chat, and they can't stop talking about whimsical words for one night.
Now it's not okay, when I meet a girl who is a little excited, I am hesitant to approach, and the jokes I say are no longer funny.
I saw his lonely affection in my eyes, and for a moment I found that I was not the only one who felt that it was getting harder and harder to like someone.
01
When I was young, I liked to always see clearly between the eyes. Even if you fail to love wrong, you don't want to miss it.
But as you get older, the cost of marital trial and error becomes higher, so high that you can't tolerate a little failure, and you have to be careful every time you approach others.
When I was in college, my friend Xiao Wu talked about love, high-profile confessions and sweet daily life, which made many classmates envious.
At that time, the class instructors in the department couldn't help but tease him that when they got married, they must invite her to drink happy wine.
Everyone thinks that Xiao Wu and his girlfriend are a good match, and think that the two can walk into the palace of marriage hand in hand.
Contrary to wishes, 6 years of love run without a good end, the last one to run to the dream, one to choose far away.
After that, I basically didn't hear any news about Xiao Wu falling in love again.
On the days of National Day, several friends who did not go home came out to drink, and Xiao Wu was also among them.
Everyone at the wine table knew that Xiao Wu was still single, so they wanted to find a partner for him, hoping to find an opportunity to match him.
But when he mentioned it, his eyes darkened slightly, and he politely refused to say, forget it, there is no feeling.
Privately, on the way back, I also asked Xiao Wu, is it that I have not let go of the previous relationship, and I am unwilling?
He paused slightly, but replied frankly that it was not unwilling, just regret.
After saying that, he took a deep breath, and the thin back shadow in the moonlight was a little lonely.
When I was young, I loved it vigorously, but in the end I could not escape the helplessness of life.
The fallen leaves on both sides of the campus runway and the sound of books in the classroom have become a quick glimpse of life.
Some people break up and quickly regroup and enter a new stage of life; some people experience unforgettable memories, and it is difficult to like someone anymore.
02
Speaking of which, the topic of marriage has a very different view among elders and peers.
In the eyes of the elders, marriage is a house of two people, three meals and four seasons, simple and not so much trouble.
But in the eyes of unmarried peers, marriage means responsibility, it means to start taking on the family, it means the future.
Even if you like someone, you must consider whether you can be responsible for her future after being with her, and whether you are fully prepared.
When several friends were chatting in the group before, a friend suddenly talked about marriage.
He finished college in Beijing, and after graduating from college, he naturally became a North Drifter.
Others envied him for having a decent job, a good future and a future, but in his own eyes, he was more like a loser who had achieved nothing.
The stability of the job can not afford that he likes a person, he wants to have a Beijing hukou, buy a house within the fourth ring road, then he needs to work for at least a hundred years.
But the problem is that in addition to the house and the car, there are also marriages and children, and the future of children and so on.
He can't see his future, and he can't provide a future for the people he likes.
His idea is that of most of his friends around him, who feel that they are not good enough to give others the ability to give a future.
Gradually, they all began to love in awe, and they respected the opposite sex.
They are not willing to let the people they like suffer with them, and they do not let the other party choose to accommodate because of themselves.
How difficult it is to live alone, to survive a long time can always pass, but with the love of the person to the bumpy life, are not willing.
03
It's getting harder and harder to like someone, and you don't want to be in love?
In fact, it is not because of not loving, the love of feelings has lost when they were young, but more like a sign of a person's maturity.
In the long years, I have seen too many fast-food love, and I know how precious true love is.
Be careful not to move easily, not to say the phrase 'I like you' to the other party easily.
When he saw everything clearly and knew that the man could not afford to wait and could not miss it, he took off his disguise and accepted him.
But we should also understand that experience and knowledge are only nutrients, and how reality is still needs to be actively grasped.
Don't deny everything, don't leave a way to live, and let happiness slip away in vain.
Author's introduction: Fourteen, post-95 independent self-media entrepreneurs, is one day will have a million fans of the small UP master; share personal self-media entrepreneurial experience dry goods and book reviews, emotional small mailbox.