01
Someone once asked:
"Is there really no market for leftover women?"
There are more than 10,000 comments below, with a total reading volume of up to 10 million, which has aroused a heated discussion about leftover women.
Judging from the answers of men, the older leftover women in their eyes have long lost the advantage of choosing a mate and have no capital to choose independently.
This is a heart-wrenching fact. Looking at the examples in life, it seems that older leftover women are really getting more and more difficult to marry, and they can hardly find a suitable marriage partner.
Some people say that the reason why older leftover women can't find a partner is because they are too tall and far-sighted to recognize reality, which may have some truth.
Many leftover women have held the psychology of high marriage, and when they were young, they were picky about boys, always thinking that they could find better, and as a result, with the passage of time, they had long missed the marriageable age.
After the age of 30, those older unmarried women entered the blind date market and experienced the baptism of blind date failure, and gradually understood that they had lost the advantage of choosing a mate and became less sought-after.
Therefore, many older leftover women have paid a painful price for the arrogance of choosing a mate when they are young.
02
I remember that at an issue of the "New Blind Date" hosted by Meng Fei, I saw a 42-year-old female guest, her name was Wang Yan. This independent woman with a successful career, good looks, beautiful figure, lovely temperament, can be called an absolute high-quality leftover woman.
However, it is such a high-quality woman who is sought after in life, but the lights are turned off by the whole scene, and none of the male guests present choose her.
In the end, Wang Yan could only retreat, and even Meng Fei on the side regretted it.
Meng Fei also comforted him with pain:
"I don't think there's anything wrong with being 42 years old, if there's a problem, it's just that today's boys are too young!"
Perhaps, in the face of realistic mate selection, all the advantages of leftover women can not withstand age after all.
For most of the leftover women, their biggest obstacle in choosing a mate is not to lose to men, but to age.
The company has a colleague Yang Meng (pseudonym), 41 years old, company executive, monthly salary of 30,000, beautiful and temperamental strong woman. Like Wang Yan, she suffered the same heartache experience of failing blind dates.
Yang Meng has been dating for five years, and none of them have succeeded, not that she is not good, but that there is no suitable matching partner at all, and the average man cannot meet her mate selection standards.
When Yang Meng was on a blind date, she once announced her mate selection criteria to the red bride: requiring men to earn 50,000 yuan a month, be self-motivated, be knowledgeable, and respect women.
However, the red lady frankly advised her: "It is still appropriate to lower the standard, your age is not sought-after." ”
Yang Meng naturally disagrees, she thinks that she is a quality woman, why must she lower the standard to cater to men?
In this way, Yang Meng has always adhered to his own standards, walking on the road of blind dates again and again, and experiencing the blows brought about by failure again and again.
Yang Meng once said to Hong Niang very plainly that the two boyfriends she had made before had good conditions, one of which had a monthly salary of more than 30,000, and the other, although the monthly salary was only more than 10,000, had a good family.
However, Yang Meng and her two boyfriends broke up because of personality incompatibility and have been single ever since.
Yang Meng said that her mate selection standards are not high, because the man she wants to marry cannot be worse than the conditions of her ex-boyfriend.
The so-called "people go to the high places, and the water flows to the low places." Yang Meng felt that if her future marriage was lower than the current quality of life, then why should she get married?
Indeed, in reality, there should be many women who have such thoughts as Yang Meng. In the eyes of many high-quality leftover women, they have better conditions themselves, plus the previous boyfriends have good conditions, and naturally refuse to lower the standard.
If getting married means lowering the quality of life you have now, or even posting men upside down, they'd rather be single than settle down.
Yang Meng later said that she did not have to marry a millionaire, but a monthly salary of 50,000 was already the bottom line, and if she could not meet this requirement, she really could not wronged herself.
In fact, Red Niang has reminded Yang Meng more than once that if she has always adhered to such a standard, I am afraid it will be difficult to match the right object.
To this end, Yang Meng also hesitated, should we really lower the standard of mate selection?
In the past, she had picked others, but now she even had fewer opportunities to pick, and she felt very passive and helpless.
Yang Meng has wondered many times: Is there really no market for leftover women? Obviously she is a high-quality woman, beautiful and beautiful, why doesn't a man marry?
If she had to accept reality and lower her standards to marry a man low, she wouldn't be able to do it.
Yang Meng thought about it and felt that she still had to follow her heart, so she made a painful choice: if there is no quality man, she will never be!
03
In "Round Table Pie", Liang Wendao said a passage that is particularly realistic:
"In the matter of childbearing, it is basically difficult for women to be over 40 years old, but men can still have babies even if they are fifty or sixty years old." Therefore, when women have more initiative in the blind date market, it is only ten years, missed, and it is more and more difficult to go in the future. ”
Unfortunately, there are really not many unmarried women who can really understand this truth.
In life, many older leftover women will have this attitude towards mate selection:
They think that they are of high quality, have decent jobs, have higher monthly salaries, have exquisite looks, have independent ability, have tasteful life, etc., and all of these advantages that are important to them are almost ignored by men in the blind date market.
Why?
Because when men choose to marry, they often only look at the most important point of women, that is, young and fertile.
When a quality older leftover woman, and a young and dispossessed little girl, stand in front of a man, they will almost not hesitate to choose the young girl.
This is the most heartfelt reality of mate selection.
Leftover women are not without a market, but they are misplaced with men's choices, and the purpose of male and female mate selection is different, and the results are naturally different.
In life, many high-quality leftover women like Yang Meng and Wang Yan are not bad, but they miscalculated their mate selection at the beginning.
They did not marry out at the marriageable age, and when they were in their 30s or even 40s, they naively thought that they had good looks, houses, and abilities, and they must be very good at finding a partner. But the reality is that they have many external advantages, but they have lost the capital of youth and fertility that is most valued by men.
So, what needs to be reminded of unmarried women is:
When you are at the best age, you must put yourself in the right mind to find a partner, and don't delay your marriage to after the age of 30. If you can, it's best to marry yourself off before you turn 30.
Age is a woman's hard wound, a woman's cardamom age, how many years can she be self-congratulatory?
Don't wait until you become an older leftover woman, and then experience setbacks and failures again and again in the blind date market.
That kind of life is not what women want to see, but I hope that older leftover women can have some thinking.
In life, there are many things that must be done at the right time, and if they are missed, they will never come back.
This is true of life, and it is also true of marriage.
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