You must have been brainwashed by Wolf Disco lately. He was also brainwashed by the northeast uncle.
There is no way to escape.
You can hear it everywhere you go, and opening Weibo Douyin is all your uncle.
Today I would like to solemnly tell you about the uncle of the northeast, which literally means the youngest son of the grandfather in the traditional family of the northeast.
But there are a lot of Northeastern men who have this trait —
They are nominally elders, but in fact they are your bad friends; they do not do their work every day. Women are very popular. It's going to happen, and it's going to mess up a lot of things.
When they were young, they did a few powerful things, which was enough for them to blow for a lifetime. After reading the article you will even want a northeast uncle like this. Because you will find that if you live more and more mournful, your uncle must give you a good time.
First, let's talk about the overall temperament of the brothers-in-law.
It's just a big brother.
When they were young, Hong Kong films were on fire, "The True Colors of Heroes", "Ancient Puzzle Boy", "Infernal Affairs", and they entered the drama at a glance. First of all, the image is very stylish -
Dye your hair yellow, wear a big gold chain, and have a cigarette in your mouth.
The leather coat can't be worn well, it has to be worn on the shoulders.
Always at the forefront of local trends——
American vintage jacket featuring a FILA red crewneck sweatshirt.
Even now it's all fashion items—
Ripped fringed flared pants, locke shoes and sunglasses.
The head of the line is fully prepared, and there must be a resounding name.
Of course, they are all self-appointed —
For example, Lei Jiayin: "I am Anshan He Zhengyu." ”
For example, Shen Teng: "I am a military art school grass, you know?" ”
For example, the classic uncle character Fan Debiao in "Ma Dashuai" raised his chin when he introduced himself:
"I used to fight and kill young, and I can be called a famous fierce person in northern Liaoning."
The eldest brother speaks Cantonese, and the uncle must also know——
With the shareholder Beiwei singing "The People in Our Tun": "I drop laoga, beat the group in the choice of pot tun." ”
Don't look at the whole temperament is not right, but the victory is in the action can be learned in place.
Of course, the uncle's home stadium is in the disco.
Occasionally, a hand of break dancing is revealed.
But the uncle also has a serious matter.
Take a group of people to the wilderness to worship their brothers.
Make rules for your little brothers first.
Tell your niece again of her own persona—
For example, do not let the niece be called "uncle", but must be called "uncle Biao", the mighty wind.
You can't lose with harsh words.
Lin Xinxin went to the running man to blow the ping-pong ball into the opponent's goal. Li Chen said harshly: "I have eaten garlic, you should be careful."
Lin update: I eat. ”
But the old man is not just addicted to his mouth.
When I was young, I also experienced some fierce battles -
Reader@Fisherman The uncle is renting a car, and once encountered robbery.
The old man grabbed the man with one hand, grabbed the collar with the other hand, and then pressed the other person's head into the reverse gear, banging his face upwards, directly breaking the bridge of the robber's nose. The old man worked hard to create a society for himself in the northeast. Like Hong Kong, but not Hong Kong.
A society with brothers, face, and blood, and no shortage of money. Most importantly, the hero and male protagonist in it will always be only the uncle. That was the glory that the old man wanted to have the most.
<h1>Two</h1>
The life of the hero hero is always very turbulent. The old uncle also loves to toss, since the age of 12 into puberty, has not come out again.
He's probably the most ridiculous adult you've ever met. For example, I will practice some stunts that I think are very powerful, but are not useful at all:
Straddle your left foot and your right foot.
Lick your nose.
For example, how old are still addicted to games.
@ Back Pot Man Poison When he was a child, his uncle took him to play the red alert that was very popular at that time, and his grandfather couldn't look at it, and took an axe to chop the uncle's computer.
For example, you have to sail at every turn.
Reader @ Bamboo Grandpa is an engineer and wants to let his uncle go to college normally, but the uncle always wants to run away from home. Either go to Gansu to wholesale oranges, or go to Xinjiang to buy chocolate. In the end, it didn't sell, and I ate it all myself. Later, I went to the Shaolin Temple to learn kung fu, and after walking for two months, I brought back a pair of double knuckle sticks. Grandpa scolded angrily: What do you love to do, never go home again.
Sometimes I teach you some strange experiences.
Wei Daxun fell out of love in college, was very sad, and called his uncle. The uncle said in a serious tone, "You have to be a flower picker." ”
The old uncle didn't look like an elder at all. But it can always cover you at the critical moment -
@ Shanghaojia When he was a child, he was almost hit by the glass cabinet door, and the uncle who was playing with the computer next to him, an arrow rushed over, his arm was in a gear, and the whole piece of glass was broken next to him, and the blood flowed to the ground. Seeing that she was frightened, he also comforted her: It's okay, you see all ketchup.
@ Qitaihe Xiaogao 22 years old college graduation chose to drift north, living in a place with only a blanket. The first time the uncle came to see her, he didn't say anything. The second time I came, the old man carried a large package. He sent his mother-in-law's wedding quilt.
It can be said that having a northeast uncle has a sense of security.
<h1>
Three
</h1>
The uncle's love history is also brilliant. The beautiful girls around me have never been broken.
When I saw a beautiful woman, I went up and talked.
Poetry and drama can be talked about. Love words are also a set of sets:
"Since you can't be my wife, you must be my crown."
Sometimes I don't even want to die.
There is a drinking method on the Northeast wine table called "passing customs", and it is drunk in a circle. A girl said that the uncle had played several rounds of customs in order to have a few more drinks with the beautiful woman on the table. Later, after drinking too much, when I got to the girl, I didn't forget to say: "Do you need any help you can find me." ”
After watching the girl leave, she immediately threw up in the toilet.
It's wonderful to really catch up with girls. Find your own disadvantages, check and fill in the gaps in time——
@lily's uncle liked a girl older than him, and in order to chase after others, he ran to the police station to change the age.
Now twenty or thirty years later, even his sister didn't know how old his brother was.
Your uncle does have a set. Every year, I can bring you different aunts and uncles back.
Your grandmother remembers Men Erqing: last year's aunt played mahjong well; this year's aunt opened her own restaurant, a proper strong woman.
Of course, as long as you drift in the love field, there will be a time to lose your hand. The uncle will also be disappointed.
My friend's uncle had a particularly good-looking girlfriend, and he thought he was old and divided.
The seven aunts and eight aunts all advised him to chase the girls back, but he didn't, saying that he could find better.
Only friends know: During that time, the uncle picked him up from school every day, just to go to the little sister's school door for ten minutes and see his girlfriend.
The old uncle has also failed others and hurt the hearts of many girls.
As soon as you catch the girl, your uncle begins to get upset. From time to time, bragging in front of you, saying that he has figured out who is who. Also impart experience to you.
Reader @M Zhang Zhang's uncle also taught him the killer skill of chasing girls: wear more white shirts.
"You have to beat it with whitening soap, soak it in the basin for half a point and then clean it." The next day, after putting it on, the person can stand up. ”
However, after getting married, they also did not hide their love for their wives. He did not hesitate to admit his "fear" of his wife.
It is said that every old uncle does not carry a bag for his wife when he goes out, and he is overwhelmed.
In a variety show, the director asked "Are you afraid of your wife in what you are doing?"
Sha Yi immediately raised his hand to answer.
Some time ago, there was a Weibo hot search: the family status of the northeast masters. A group of old masters carrying school bags to send their children to school. Too iron-hearted.
<h1>Four</h1>
Your uncle's life can be said to be: if you like it, you will go to the whole. Life is always hot.
Sometimes it's pretty good —
A blacksmith in the northeast, he likes music and knows a little machinery. Really made a "steel piano".
I didn't realize my dream of driving a train when I was a child.
It took a month to make a 1:1 size steam locomotive.
But more often than not, the uncle will mess things up.
After the old uncle Niu Xiaowei in "The Northeast Family" was laid off, he decided to go to Manchuria to engage in border trade. Someone fooled him into going to Siberia.
After he went to pick up the goods, he overturned the car, and he called his family with a shiver of cold: all lost, and the travel expenses were gone.
There is an old saying in the northeast: what to do is not good, what to eat is not left.
It's about the old uncles. Eating too much of life's losses, the uncle may be a little provocative.
But always stand up.
@Xiao Jie's uncle dropped out of school in the first two nine years and said that he wanted to break into the world. I have opened a car shop and a dried fruit shop, which is the first in the local area, and I feel very windy. But they all failed, and they also threw the family's money into it.
At the age of 27, just like growing up, he honestly followed his father to learn carpentry. Later, I started to make my own brand.
The old man said: "People still have to struggle to a bigger place, it was too unreliable before." ”
<h1>Five</h1>
Others see the truth of life and still love life. The uncle is always looking at life with a filter and selectively accepting the truth.
For example, Wang Qianyuan has always thought that he is acting in an idol drama.
For example, Shen Teng, the limbs are uncoordinated, and the university physical fitness class can put the legs on the pole is the limit. When you participate in the show, just show everyone a pleasure.
"It's my honor that people can still laugh at me."
For example, Lei Jiayin's Accent in Anshan is too heavy, and everyone laughs every time she speaks.
He practiced very hard, standing under the school wall at 4 o'clock every morning and shouting. But what he remembered was another picture.
"At that time, whenever the crow flew by, I looked up. The whole sky was black, and when it flew away, looking down, the main road had all turned white, all bird droppings. I think it's so romantic. ”
They never seem to take themselves seriously, nor do they take the difficult things that life has stuffed into them.
In fact, martial arts are to chivalrous guests, just as this society is to the uncle of the northeast. The uncle may be ordinary, it may be the uncle who will mess things up.
But for those of us who are frustrated, they have become heroes. We also collectively embraced the Northeast uncle.