"No thief in the world"

Lu Yishou is a reporter for an entertainment tabloid. On this day, he rushed to write a manuscript overnight, entitled "Neighboring the Rich", which was his own personal feelings about his family, who barely maintained food and clothing, and the neighbors of the rich families around him.

His wife looked very confused, saying that you usually aim at some movie stars, singers' sexual encounters, privacy, how did you suddenly arrange such an article?

Lu Yiyi smiled and said, "It has its own wonderful uses, mainly to deal with the recent problem of poor social order." The wife did not understand, said that you can make up, the things said in this manuscript are not compatible with social security! Lu Yiyi brushed his lips disdainfully and said triumphantly, "Don't talk about you, no one can see the fame here."

This manuscript does not seem to be anything, but in fact it is a solemn declaration to the whole world: my family is very poor, and the neighbors around me are very rich. In this way, it is equivalent to nailing a road sign on the door of the house, 'This household has no money, please go to the next door for wealth', thieves and robbers and others will follow this prompt, patronize the neighbor's house, isn't our home safe?"

After listening to it, the wife was happy, nodded at his head and said, "You boy, a belly full of flowers and intestines, such a damaged idea, thank you for thinking about it!" Lu Yi shook his head and said, "You are wrong, this is not called loss, it is called iq superiority."

Presumably, the manuscript really played a role, and in the following period of time, several homes in the community were stolen, including the upstairs and opposite doors of the road hand, but the road hand home was safe and sound. Looking at the neighbors' sad faces and panicked looks, Lu scolded the thief with one hand, while stealing the music privately, and said: "Lovely neighbors, I really should write an article for you, the title is "Neighboring with the Wise"! Haha!"

As the saying goes, happiness is extremely sad. In the middle of the night this day, Lu Yi was dreaming a good dream, and suddenly felt a chill on his neck, and he woke up with an excited spirit, opened his eyes, and cried out in fright. In the moonlight, Lu Yiyi saw a masked man dressed in black, put a pig-killing knife on his neck, and threatened: Don't yell, get up and get me money!

Lu Yi was picked up naked with one hand, and he was frightened by the frost belt, and he said in a panicked manner: "Dude, I am a poor journalist, where is the money?"

The thief snorted from his nose and said, "I know you're a broken journalist, and Lao Tzu came to your neighborhood to find a way to get rich after reading your bullshit article about being a neighbor to a rich man." Who knows that your article is full of nonsense, Lao Tzu has gone to several homes, all of them are so poor that they are jingling.

I'm scared and scared of being busy, so I came to you today to settle the account!" Lu Yi listened, secretly cried bitterly, and said in a loud voice, buddy, you adults don't remember the villain, raise your hand high, spare me this time, I don't dare to talk nonsense anymore! The thief slapped Lu Yi's neck with the face of the knife and said, "No! Those who do our business can't go empty, not to mention that you still pit me. Today I mainly want to seek justice, and I don't want you much, as long as you pay the fee for that article, it's interesting enough, right? If you don't know how to lift, I'll have to give you some blood!"

Lu Yi quickly nodded his head, said thank you, and took the money from the drawer and offered it with trembling hands. The thief didn't believe it: "Is that all there is to it?" Lu Yiyi cried with a sad face and said, "Now the manuscript is not valuable, it is indeed so much." I swear, almost a dime is your grandson. ”

When the thief heard this, he was annoyed: "Are you my grandson?" My grandson is on your virtue? You're trying to insult me, aren't you?"

Lu Yi quickly changed his mouth: "I'm an asshole, I said it wrong, if I lie to you, I'm Wang Bayang!" The thief was happy, and then asked, "Are you left-handed?" Lu Yishou did not understand what to ask this for, and hurriedly replied that it was not. The thief said, "Well, you put your right hand out, and I'm going to beg you for a finger as a memorial to this deception."

"My mom!" Lu Yiyi was frightened and "pounced" and fell to his knees, "bang bang" opened his head, and his mouth kept begging for forgiveness. It wasn't until his head was bleeding that the thief let go and said, "Forget it!" It's okay not to chop your fingers, but you have to teach you a lesson, so that you don't have to lie in the future.

Well, you really hit yourself a hundred mouths, and you're on top. Lu Yi was broken, knelt there, opened his bow left and right, and slammed it up very hard, and in order to perform, he did not stop until a hundred strokes, and consciously added ten more before stopping. The thief said cheaply to you, flash away.

The next day, the neighbors saw that Lu had a swollen face and a crooked mouth, and asked what had happened. Lu said with one hand that he was affected by the wind.

That night, Lu Yi was afraid for half a night, saw that there was no movement, just preparing for people to sleep, suddenly the window "rattled" a sound, he looked up: Oh my God, the thief stood in front of him again. Lu Yiyi stuttered in fright, "You... how........

The thief pointed his knife at me: "Boy, you swore yesterday not to talk nonsense, but you dared to deceive me." It seems that without chopping off one of your hands, you can't remember sex for a long time!"

Lu Yi shouted unjustly, and the thief did not believe it, and asked him how much money he had paid for the manuscript? Lu Yi patted his chest with one hand and said, "Heaven and earth conscience, there are so many, all for you." If you don't believe it, you can look it up. ”

The thief waved his hand: "Lao Tzu has already checked, otherwise how do you know that you have fought an ambush?"

Lu Yi was confused and said what was he ambushing? The thief snorted coldly and said, "It seems that you will not shed tears when you don't see the coffin, so I will let you die to understand." After your article was published, it was also published by "Empty Hand. Set white wolf", "black mess", "chicken and dog fragments" and other publications reprinted, why not hand over this money?"

At this moment, Lu Yi's hands were full of mouths, and he couldn't help but cry loudly: "Oh my God! Where are these so-called publications you are talking about? These godless turtle kings are bastards, and the manuscripts are never given money!"

"Is there such a thing? Impossible, right?" The thief stared at the road with one hand and said doubtfully.

"Interlaced like a mountain, you don't write things, you don't know those guys who don't have faces, specially pick some here, cut some there, and then piece together into a book, take the no cost of the manuscript to make black money, all get rich!" 」

"Really?".

"Absolutely not, you just go to the book stand and look at it."

"Well, I'll let you go for the time being, and if it's not true, I'll settle the score with you again!" After saying that, the thief jumped out of the window and left.

Lu Yiyi's wife was so scared that she couldn't do it, and said, "You have gotten into trouble with the master, maybe when he will come back, I think we should still move!" Lu Yishou felt that he had to do the same, so he secretly sold the house. The two mouths were full of bubbles, tossing and turning for several months, and the sale was completed. This night, the couple packed up their things overnight, ready, ready to flee.

Lu Yi was busy rummaging through boxes and cabinets in the living room, when he suddenly heard someone knocking softly outside the door. His wife looked through the cat's eye and saw that it was the thief who knocked on the door, and she was so frightened that she sat on the ground and couldn't move. Lu opened the door with a hard hand, and the thief came in and looked at it, saying what are you doing, are you going to move?

Lu Yizhi said, "That...... This one.... I want to clean the house..." The thief said, "It seems that I have come at the right time!" Saying take off the trench coat, I rolled up my sleeves. When Lu Yi saw it, "Flutter" knelt down again, and his words were miserable: "Please, let us go!"

The thief asked incomprehensibly, "What are you doing here?" I want to help you!" Lu Yishou was very surprised: "You... .... Didn't you come to me to settle the score?"

The thief smiled, "There have been many offenses in the past." Big brother, I'm here to thank you today. He took an envelope from his purse and handed it over, saying, "It's a thousand dollars, no respect, please accept it." ”

Lu Yi did not dare to pick it up, and the thief forced the money into his hand and said embarrassedly, "This is a little thanks fee." Big brother, we really don't fight and don't know each other! These days I have found a few brothers, according to the path you provided, according to the gourd painting scoop, pieced together a few books, and sure enough, fame and fortune. If I had known you earlier, if I had known that there was such an easy way to get rich, why would I have been a thief?" #Story##头条 #