1
Humorous Excuse Answer: Why would a man fall in love with two women at the same time? A: Because there is no time to love the third woman. Why do men's socks stink so much? A: Because men are particularly nostalgic! Why do women like to call men "smelly men"? A: This still needs to be asked! Then his shoes will be known when they smell it! Why do men always love to change their hearts? A: Because a woman's appearance, figure, and personality are more fickle! Why do men only look at women's appearance? A: Of course! The one who looks at the internal organs of the person is the doctor!
2
Xiao Liu recently made a very beautiful girlfriend and often bought her expensive gifts. Yesterday, the two went to the movies, and then went shopping, and it was almost 12 o'clock in the middle of the night, and then they said goodbye. The girlfriend asked Xiao Liu: "We will meet tomorrow, okay?" Xiao Liu replied: "I think it is still the 3rd of next month." The girlfriend was dissatisfied: "Why can't we see each other every day?" Are you on a business trip tomorrow? Xiao Liu whispered, "I don't travel." Mainly because our unit can only pay salaries on the 3rd of every month! ”
3
When I was in elementary school, the building where my family lived was said to have died by jumping off the building before. After living there for more than two years, I often heard the woman's hissing and crying when I slept at night, but my parents never reacted. I wonder if only I can hear? I didn't dare to tell my parents, for fear that they would be afraid. When I came home many years later and talked to my father about it, he was silent for a moment and said, "I heard it too, it was the neighbor calling for the bed." ”
4.
A buddy called the 10086 customer service and asked: "What should I do if the mobile phone card falls off?" Customer service said: "Bring the relevant ID card to the business hall to apply for a replacement card." The guy said, "Can't I pick it up?" Customer service: "For your safety, we do not recommend that you bend down to pick up the card, the water in your brain is easy to spill." ”
5.
It's almost New Year's Day, and today I'm going to pick up a dog whose owner wants to go home and no one has kept. A child reluctantly held the dog to me: Sister, you have to love it well. Don't raise it for two days and eat it. "Oh, I don't eat dog meat" The little doll cried: I see your saliva is flowing out... I......
6
In the university, the class bell rang, the teacher entered the classroom, and there were only three students sitting in the classroom, and the teacher ignored it and gave two classes in a row. After the lecture, the teacher turned back and asked, "These three students have a very good learning attitude, why didn't the other students in your class come today?" The following student weakly replied, "Teacher, I don't know, we are not your students, we are here to study by ourselves..."
7
A man went to see the master, and the master was eating. This person said: I grew up without parents, did not read much, failed in everything I did when I grew up, and owed a lot of money to others, and now my daughter-in-law has left me... The master listened, poured one plate of dishes into another, and then buckled the plate. The man suddenly exclaimed: Master, do you mean that I can still turn the tables in the second half of my life? The master shook his head and said: You tell such a tragic story, can I still eat?
8
Mom's birthday, decided to give Mom a gift. Not much money, so the gifts bought were not good either - a hot water bottle. On my birthday, I gave it to my mother, and my mother knew that I didn't have any money, and she bought her a gift, which was very touching: "Son, you are really a mother..." I couldn't help but choke up when I said this. I also had tears in my eyes: "Mom, what am I for you?" Mom: You're so retarded! Buy a hot water bottle for the old lady on a hot day! ”
9
There is a school flower in the school that is very cold, and many outstanding young people have failed. I don't believe in evil, ready to try, there is a day after self-study I stopped the school flowers... Me: "What do you think of my character?" School Flower: "Very good..." Me: "Be my girlfriend, right?" School Flower: "Good" me: "What do you appreciate about me?" School Flower: "Brother, I'm your girlfriend, can you put down the knife first?" ”
10
"Waiter, find a lady!" "I'm sorry sir, we're a regular hotel here!" "Oh, got it! Call a senior technician! "Okay, wait a minute!" Then the landlord enjoyed a full set of blind massages and also gave a cupping.