Author | Time Island
Recently, the news of #Father Persuading Wine-style Persuasion Baby to Take Medicine has been on Weibo hot search. In the video, the little boy picks up a cup of medicine, without showing any embarrassment, and proudly "stuffy".
What kind of fairy child is this?! I knew it was medicine, and I could drink it so boldly.
It turned out that behind him there was a dad who "touted" him.
As soon as the child finished drinking, the father immediately praised: "Oh I went, too much", the child was more excited when he heard it, and he smiled and squinted his eyes and milky and followed "too much".
Netizens laughed with their aunts and expressed their envy in the comment area:
Every time my family drank medicine, it was like fighting a war, and there had never been such a harmonious picture!
This father is not simple, can make children happy to drink medicine, absolutely!
Without using "one soldier and one pawn", this thorny problem will be solved, and this father does have a set. This reminds me of Yu Qian's "flickering" of children going to kindergarten, which is similar.
In the variety show "Happiness Trio", Yu Qian said that in order to send his son to kindergarten, he laid out early. As long as the son behaves well, he will say:
"You're awesome, I'm sure I'll send you to kindergarten in the future!"
One after another, the child thinks that the kindergarten is a place to go if he performs well, so he redoubles his efforts. In this way, Yu Qian easily solved the problem of children going to kindergarten.
Xie Nan sighed after listening: The deepest road that children have walked is the routine from their parents.
The "routine" in parent-child relationship is sometimes not a pejorative term, but a way of education. At its core is love, but also wisdom.
Give him a "role" and he'll play it well
When it is time to brush your teeth, rub and do not brush,
When it's time to turn off the lights, ask for another story,
When it was time to go home, it was delayed again and again, and when it was in a hurry, it pretended to take the wrong road for you to chase...
Are each of these scenarios a headache?
Knowing that netizens @tiantian solution, she has won thousands of likes, and her secret is "role playing".
Don't brush your teeth?
Let the child become a health commissioner. Let him be responsible for arranging for mom and dad to line up, handing out toothbrushes and toothpaste in turn, and checking everyone's teeth after brushing.
Won't go upstairs?
That made him mom's little guard.
Mother show weakness: baby you walk in front, mother is afraid of the dark, you come to show your mother the way, call the lights on the corridor okay?
Don't sleep?
Just let him be the housekeeper. When it's time to call everyone to sleep, before going to bed, you have to check whether your parents are covered by the quilt, and the pillow is patted three times?
She said that after a few days like this, the child's enthusiasm and interest in doing things have obviously increased, and now his own affairs are rarely used by adults, and the family's major affairs are also very attentive.
In the book "Positive Discipline", it is said that in order to get the child to cooperate willingly, we need to win the child's heart first.
Smart parents are good at using some small "routines" to meet the needs of their children to be seen and respected.
The same approach applies to learning.
Writer Yin Jianli believes that it is better to let children be "little teachers" than to go to cram schools.
When her daughter Yuanyuan first went to elementary school, the teacher taught them to learn pinyin, and in order to let her daughter master it as soon as possible, Yin Jianli said to her:
"My mother's hometown speaks dialects, and the teacher's teaching is not standard. Mom pinyin did not learn well, did you come back to teach me at night after learning at school? ”
Yuanyuan was very happy to hear it and immediately agreed.
After that, the first thing she did when she came home every day was to call her mother to come to "class", and watching her daughter's "class" speak seriously and clearly, she knew that her daughter was studying well.
Appreciation is the true meaning of education, but also the need for children's mental health development.
To have a child play a role is to give him a responsibility and tell him that you can do a good job.
"If you want to get away with it", he will be more active
Former CCTV host Zhou Zhou talked about the interesting story of "routine" children learning the piano in "Maple Music Club".
Her son Jump jumped and began to learn the piano at the age of 5, and in the six months before that, Zhou Zhou deliberately took him to watch concerts and meet some pianists.
The child was very happy, showed a strong love for the piano, and proposed to learn the piano.
Zhou Zhou was very happy to hear it, but his mouth "disagreed" and advised his son: "Forget it, learning the piano is particularly bitter and tiring, let's not learn it." ”
Listening to the mother say this, the child has to learn more.
After a few months of tug-of-war, Zhou Zhou "reluctantly" relaxed:
"If you really want to learn, then Mom can give you the piano as a birthday present." But this is a special gift for you, oh, if you buy the piano back, you can't send it back..."
The son nodded firmly.
Under his mother's "routine", he began his piano learning career with a "sense of ceremony".
Smart parents know how to grasp the psychology of their children, and first show a relaxed attitude of "not demanding", so that the other party will have a sense of regret and become passive to active.
The other day I took the kids and a colleague's family to dinner.
These two children are difficult to eat at home, and when they meet together, they play and make trouble, that is, they cannot eat quietly.
I thought of a trick - I added some food to my son, and then immediately covered his bowl with my hand and mysteriously said to my son: "Eat quickly, don't let Han Han see!" ”
This aroused Han Han's curiosity, standing on the chair and looking hard into his son's bowl. The more she looked at my son, the more she wanted to keep it a secret, and she didn't care if it was good or not, and she ate all the bites.
Colleagues also used this trick when they saw the situation, and the result was not unexpected, Han Han was afraid of losing to his son, and he also ate quickly.
In this way, the two children ate clean in the bowl.
My colleagues and I looked at each other and smiled, and we won another battle.
Many times, when we deliberately ask our children to do what they want, it is often difficult to achieve their wishes. Try "doing the opposite" as well.
Not only is it not forced, but it also proposes a ban to satisfy the child's appetite.
In this way, the child's curiosity will be stimulated, but it will show "rebellious" behavior.
This is the wonder of "wanting to get away with it".
"Fancy rainbow boast", children are more confident
James Dobson, Ph.D., of the University of California, once proposed a principle called the "reinforcement rule" - which means that when a person's behavior is rewarded with satisfactory results, this behavior will be repeated.
For example, there is a girl who wears a beautiful dress, and is envied by her surrounding partners, and she will wear this dress a few more times;
If a boy wins a championship with a certain brand of badminton racket, he will prefer to play with this brand of racket.
These rewards for satisfactory results come from two words: praise and positive feedback.
Ying Caier's family used it very well.
In "Freshman Diary 2", Ying Cai'er let her son try to brush the dishes, he washed very carefully, and Ying Cai'er on the side even praised: Your dishes are really clean!
Jasper was encouraged to hear her mother's praise, and looked up happily and said: I like it!
Ying Cai'er not only directly praised the child, but also said to her grandmother: "You see he is really different, he is not directly stacked there after washing, but will be put up." ”
Grandma also walked over and nodded her head in praise: "Compared to your mother, you have huigen, you have a talent for washing dishes, and the dishes will be washed for you later." ”
A cascade of rainbow exaggerations made Jasper very useful, washing up even harder.
I have to say that Ying Cai'er has a set in educating children.
She gives strong positive feedback on the things that the child has done well, so that he feels that what he is doing is seen and strongly concerned.
Strengthen his sense of competence, and the child will naturally maintain the motivation of that behavior.
It's also a source of confidence.
To exaggerate effectively and exaggerate value, parents can try these points:
Exaggerate the specifics
"You brushed your teeth very well today, brushing up and down inside and out, not confused at all."
"Your state of climbing the mountain today is so good, you didn't ask your mother to hold you the whole time, and when you were tired, you only rested for a while and then continued to move forward."
Boast of progress compared to the past
"You got up very well today, instead of waiting for your mother to dress you like before, you put it on yourself, and you made great progress, and sure enough, you grew up a little bit."
"Your self-control over playing IPAD today is much better, your mother said that the time is up, you only delayed for 2 minutes to return it to your mother, there is no debt and no payment, it is really a word!" 」
Boast of what hasn't happened yet (but hopefully).
He said to his father: "My baby is an undaunted person, although she has tried many times to jump rope or failed, but she will definitely persevere to the end, maybe in half an hour she can jump 10 in one breath!" ”
"Baby today was great, she said she plans to eat all of her own dinner today, no grandma to feed, no running around halfway, she won't overtake all of us and become the first to eat, right?"
The psychologist James once said that the most ardent requirement of human nature is the desire to be affirmed.
The growth of a child is like the germination of a seed, and if you want to thrive, you can't do without sufficient nutrients. And praise is the most abundant nutrient.
Actor Xu Lu said in a family letter to her parents that she grew up in their routine:
When she was a child, the conditions at home were not good, and even when the sofa collapsed, she was reluctant to throw it away, and used old clothes to pad it inside to continue to use.
Eating is not like other people's homes, often making meat dishes, but Dad can say "flowers" of vegetarian dishes: "Scrambled eggs with tomatoes are our national dish, and it is a special thing to do." ”
"Mom's fried shredded potatoes have a unique secret recipe that can't be eaten anywhere else."
She had always believed in it, and later with the broadcast of "China on the Tip of the Tongue", she learned the truth. Instead of getting angry, she felt a "different kind of happiness":
It was her parents' "love routine" that made her happy through that "difficult time".
I have seen such a sentence: Good education is not always maintaining "correct principles" or even "selflessness with an iron face", but doing the right thing with appropriate means.
And the "parents' routine" is such a means.
It can turn the "bitterness" that children must do and are unwilling to do into sweetness, so that they can unconsciously learn some excellent qualities in play.
This method is not necessarily the most legitimate, and even some are not honorable, but it is the most acceptable for children at that age, and it is also the most warm guidance of parents.
May every child grow up and become talented in the "love routine" of their parents.
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Author: Shi Yu, post-80s Bao Mom, educator. Some of the pictures are from the Internet, and the copyright belongs to the original author.