Author: Insight Juliet
The so-called network is actually a projection of itself.
Two days ago, I suddenly received a WeChat message asking me to help her circle of friends like it.
Looking at this strange avatar, there is no other chat history except for this message of praise,
After half a moment of recalling, I still couldn't remember who she was, so I silently deleted it.
Then casually flipped through the address book, found that after adding WeChat, but never chatted, or just asked for praise, there are really not a few.
Every industry conference, or exchange training, WeChat address book can always get a lot of new names.
Meeting for the first time and adding a friend seems to have become a social habit of modern people.
The world always feels that "connections are financial connections", or "multiple friends and multiple roads".
But the question is, is it really useful to know so many people?
Is it useful to know a lot of celebrities?
A long time ago, I saw a story on Weibo.
There is a girl who in her early years was a reporter for authoritative media and interviewed a number of big names;
Later, I switched to public relations and dealt with people every day, either stars or people who often appeared in news headlines.
One day, someone asked her, "Who is the biggest wrist in your circle of friends?" ”
The girl thought for a moment and said, "Jack Ma? ”
The crowd exclaimed, "WHAT, you actually have his WeChat?" ”
The girl smiled, "Ma Yun is useless in my circle of friends, that is a long time ago because of an interview with each other's WeChat, so many years, not a word has been said." ”
The bystander asked reluctantly, "Can't you just say hello?" ”
The girl asked him: "If Ma Yun is in your circle of friends, what can you say to him?" ”
For a moment, the crowd was silent.
The girl wrote on Weibo:
No matter how good the people in the circle of friends are, they have nothing to do with you, because you are not a level of people at all.
"There are a lot of stars and big guys in my circle of friends, but there are no personal relationships except for formal work contacts.
Unless you yourself are mixed to a similar level, you can provide the other party with equivalent resources, and your spiritual realm can talk to others, you will have the possibility of equal dialogue.
Otherwise, how can people waste time dealing with you? ”
Not really.
Add a WeChat, take a group photo, and the other party can become your network?
If you are a small transparent, no senior background, there is no useful resources, even if you add to the WeChat of the big coffee, in addition to giving people a thumbs up in the circle of friends, what else can you do?
From the time you know each other, to the time you get to know each other and formally establish a partnership with you, there is a long, long way to go.
Adult socialization is evenly matched.
MIT economics professor Ariel has a brilliant statement:
People and people's feelings are a game of precise matching, and the most important thing is the door-to-door pair.
Different classes, do you make friends?
Really can't.
Just like Gu Jia in "Thirty Only", even if you spend all your savings to buy a Hermès bag, you can get the admission ticket to the upper class. In the end, it is only a pawn of the noble ladies.
There is a post on Zhihu.
A netizen attended a classmate party, thinking of reminiscing about the past youth with the same window he had not seen for many years, and he was very excited on the way to the hotel.
However, after arriving at the hotel, I found that all the students were naturally divided into two circles.
On one side are ordinary white-collar workers who work nine to five, while on the other side, they are either business executives or entrepreneurial bosses.
Between the two circles, there is a clear distinction: the former gossips about home, the latter talks about the economy.
White-collar students want to integrate into the boss circle of executives, but they are already surrounded by people, even if they are barely crowded on the edge, they can't speak.
This is probably the truest portrayal of contemporary interpersonal communication:
Circles are hierarchical, and people are divided into groups.
There is another piece of news.
Ma Yun and Zhou Xingchi, an Internet predator, a king of comedy, two people who have never intersected, but they can talk and laugh at first sight.
In a "peak dialogue" activity, Ma Yun vigorously promoted Zhou Xingchi's films, and Zhou Xingchi, who has always been very difficult to deal with, took the initiative to confess Ma Yun, saying that he had the "feeling of seeing idols", and even laughed that he wanted to find Ma Yun to make movies for a long time.
The first time they met, they felt so sorry for each other, and this appreciation had nothing to do with friendship, but only because they were all the best in their respective fields.
The world is utilitarian and fair.
Adult communication is more about weighing the pros and cons and being evenly matched.
People will only make friends with people of equal strength and equal value.
Small characters and big coffee, it is difficult to have the opportunity to go forward together.
Only people of the same rank are eligible to sit together.
The people you can help will become your connections.
"Connections" is probably the most confusing word in today's society.
People are always proud to have added a certain total WeChat and a phone number of some top 500 CEOs.
There are even special courses that teach ordinary professionals how to search for the contact information of big names.
It seems that as long as you link to a certain bull V, you can open all the way under their appreciation and solve all your life difficulties.
However, in the legendary stories of "who and who got the help of a celebrity, thus changing the fate of a lifetime", the core part is not that he met the nobles on the road, but how long he worked hard to let the nobles see his value.
Liu Run, a well-known business consultant in China, once told how he started his business.
When Liu Run was still working at Microsoft, he used his break time to create a public welfare website.
Because this website is extremely well run, it has attracted the attention of CCTV reporter Liang Zhengzheng.
Under her recommendation, Liu Run cooperated with CCTV to launch a larger charity plan, and famous hosts such as Bai Yansong and Jing Yidan publicized it.
With the resources of CCTV, this plan has successively received donations from many celebrities such as Pan Shiyi, and the influence of the activity has become increasingly large.
Jiang Xinrong, the winner of the first Miss China Universe Contest, also asked Liu Run for advice on how to do public welfare, and introduced him to Li Jiajie, the eldest son of Hong Kong's super rich man Lee Shau Kee, who is worth hundreds of billions.
Later, Li Jiajie led the establishment of the Bairen Foundation charity, with a total of 43 founders, in addition to Liu Run, the other 42 are all the rich second generation of Hong Kong.
Later, Liu Run resigned from Microsoft.
Li Jiajie came to him and said, "Come and work for me," but Liu Run had the idea of starting a business.
So Li Jiajie hired him as a personal consultant.
As a result, Liu Run had his first customer before he officially started his business...
Standing today looking back on the past, Liu Run frankly said:
"From Liang Zhengzheng to Li Jiajie, are they my connections?"
yes.
But it's not because they're valuable to me, but because I'm valuable to them.
The people you can help will become your real connections.
You don't have the ability to help others, even if you know more people, it is useless. ”
Many people, trying to please others, eat together every day, give gifts every New Year's Festival, and work so hard to drill the camp, just so that one day the other party can help themselves.
But if you have no value to others, why should he help you?
As the writer Li Shanglong said:
"If you are not strong yourself, social networking is actually useless, only equivalent exchange, you can get reasonable help." 」
Ability is 1 and networking is 0 after 1.
Without the previous 1, no matter how many 0s there is no point.
When you become strong, connections come uninvited.
There is a passage on the Internet.
When Monkey King was a monkey, he could only play with a group of monkeys.
When he learns a skill, he can call the Bull Demon King a brother and brother, and call the Dragon King to drink and grab the treasure!
Before the Big Trouble Heavenly Palace, the Giant Spirit God didn't take him seriously, and after the Big Trouble heavenly Palace, King Tota Li Also Respected Him!
Before going to Lei Yin Temple, he could only worship the bodhisattva, and after becoming a fighting Buddha, he and the bodhisattva formed a buddy!
Who you are determines who you can know.
Who you become, you have the opportunity to choose whom.
This experience of Sun Wukong tells us that only when we grow up, we will be seen.
What determines a person's height is always his own strength!
The ancients said that the rich have distant relatives in the mountains, and the poor have no one to ask in the downtown.
It was a little chilly, but it spoke a truth:
The greater your value, the stronger the interpersonal magnetic field, and the easier it is to build strong connections.
The essence of people-to-people exchanges is mutual benefit and win-win, rather than all kinds of friendship and attachment, it is better to think about how to make yourself bigger and stronger.
In the final analysis, the so-called network is actually a projection of itself.
If you're good, networking is the icing on the cake.
If you're mediocre, connections are a joke.
Spend less time on useless socializing, bury your head in the work, and work steadily.
There is no need to seduce someone, learn more in the time when there are no friends for a while, and strive to improve their ability and value.
Know that enriching yourself is far more powerful than pleasing others.
When you have the results you can get, get a salary increase, get a promotion, and have the confidence to introduce yourself to others, it will naturally attract the people you want to know.
Finally, a sentence from Ma Yun is a footnote with excellent connections:
Find yourself, be the best version of yourself, and the world will find you.