<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > introduction:</h1>
"Marriage without love is immoral, but marriage without sex is equally immoral." - Engels
In life, everyone may want to find a soul mate. So how do you find it? Li Yinhe, a famous gender expert, once said: "First of all, you must have a soul, secondly, you must have the ability to love, and finally, luck." ”
If you really find such a partner, how to maintain this relationship? Li Yinhe also said: The two sides have nothing to talk about, they care and support each other, and most importantly, they have a continuous sex life.
I once saw a question on Zhihu: After the 80s, how do you face sexless marriage?
There is a high praise answer at the bottom of the comment: Once upon a time, we thought that sex without love was a hooligan. To this day, love without sex is the real hooliganism.
Deeply.
As the writer Lian Yue said:
"In marriage, it is also a responsibility to maintain sex."
For a long time, people have regarded raising eyebrows and respecting each other as the standard of marital happiness, but it is difficult to talk about sexual life. It seems that talking too much about conjugal life is destroying the beautiful existence.
In fact, Confucius once said: "The color of food is also the nature of man." It means that people cannot live without these two things, and if they lack the same, then life is bound to have problems.
The Republic of China film "Silver Jewelry" explores the role of sex in the relationship between husband and wife. In this movie, because the young master only loves men and does not love women, the young grandmother has been married for the past 7 years, or the daughter body. In the end, a series of emotional entanglements arise because of sex, which eventually lead to a tragic story.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >01: Married for seven years, her husband never touched her</h1>
On her blue face is the grandmother of Matilda Province, who wears gold and silver every day and looks bright and beautiful. In fact, no one knows the bitterness in her heart, she has been married for 7 years, but her husband has never touched her.
At first, Bilan thought that her husband did not like her, but after a long time, she learned that her husband did not dislike her, but did not like women.
Although he was a man, he had a daughter heart, liked pink shirts and skirts, rouge gouache, and liked the handymen in the house.
The great young master's habit has been there since childhood, and outsiders don't know it, but everyone in the family knows it. As the saying goes, the ugliness of the family cannot be publicized, and Bilan has to beat off his teeth and swallow in his stomach.
On weekdays, Bilan often went to a silver jewelry store to hunt for silver jewelry, and gradually became familiar with the young silversmith in the store.
The little silversmith was born white and pure, which is the age of fanggang. The widowed Bilan was not ready to move, but she never dared to take that step.
This kind of tormented day made her want to die, so she wanted to pull her husband to die. So Hu Bilan instigated the little silversmith to help her buy arsenic, and although the little silversmith hesitated to agree, he was stopped by the old silversmith.
This kind of thing that harms others and harms oneself does not dare to do it indiscriminately. But he was not good at disobeying Bilan's orders, so he quietly took out a bag of Chinese medicine, in order to fake the truth, and let the little silversmith send it over.
After the little silversmith did so, he was afraid that Bilan would find out that he had taken a fake medicine, and he was afraid all day. But the more he was afraid of something, the more something came, and a few days later, Bilan did come to him. The little silversmith came to Matilda with a nervous heart.
But Bi Lan not only did not blame him, but thanked him for saving his life. She wanted to pull her husband to death, but the moment she drank the medicine, she regretted it, and she was not wrong, why should she die?
In order to repay the little silversmith, she asked the little silversmith to meet him at Lamelin in the middle of the night tomorrow night.
In the middle of the night of the next day, the little silversmith arrived as promised, and Blue rushed up and hugged him. Then she said her pain, she had been married for 7 years, and she was still a girl. Deep in love, the two embraced and kissed each other and spent a beautiful moment.
Afterwards, the old silversmith learned of his son's behavior, sighed, regretted that he had not married him earlier, and now that his son had hooked up with the grandmother of The Great and Young in Matilda Province, he could not save his life.
Sure enough, what the old silversmith had feared happened.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >02: The private affair is exposed, and the husband offers a settlement condition</h1>
That day, when Bilan was meeting with the little silversmith as usual, she happened to be bumped by the big young master. But the young master did not debunk it in person, but when Bilan returned, he calmly said this matter.
Bi Lan was terrified when she saw that the matter had been revealed, and she knelt down in front of her husband and said that she would never dare again.
Who knew that the husband had a calm face, saying that he did not mind his wife meeting with the little silversmith, and would help to conceal it, only hoping that the little silversmith would give himself a pair of exquisite silver jewelry every half a month.
Bi Lan trembled and agreed, and gave all the things he had brought with him to her husband. While Bilan was glad to have escaped his own fate, he was lamenting where his fate should go?
After that, whenever Bilan wanted to have a private meeting with the little silversmith, she would ask her husband what silver jewelry he needed. Later, when she was having a private meeting with the little silversmith, she happened to encounter a heavy rain, and the two had to hide in the flower room.
After the husband learned about it, he told Bilan that he would come directly to their room in the future, so as not to be discovered, and he could go to the study to avoid it. Blue eyes with tears, this husband in addition to not touching himself, other aspects are still good.
Due to the excessive amount of silver jewelry, the small two mouths began to make ends meet. BiLan had to steal the old lady's money, at first the old lady thought that the next person took it, who knew an investigation, but learned that the thief was Bi Lan, and also found her private affair with the little silversmith.
After the old man knew, he asked the lady not to be silent first, and then had a plan.
On the pretext of beating silver ornaments, he invited the little silversmith to the house, and then his meals were drugged. After some time, the little silversmith was visibly emaciated. Even if you meet with Bilan again, you are powerless.
Finally finished playing the silver jewelry, the little silversmith returned home, and the old silversmith saw at a glance that something was wrong with his son and rushed to invite him a doctor. But the doctor could not see the reason, and only prescribed a few pairs of traditional Chinese medicine.
Soon after, Bilan came to see the little silversmith and brought ginseng and an old hen from the house. The old silversmith saw this and greatly changed his mind about the blue. Unexpectedly, after the little silversmith drank ginseng chicken soup, his condition became more and more serious, and he could not even get out of bed.
It turned out that this ginseng had been soaked with arsenic by the old master of Matilda Province. Within a few days, the little silversmith died.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >03: The truth comes out, and the husband commits suicide to end the tragedy</h1>
The old silversmith lost his beloved son and was bedridden at once. From time to time, Bilan came to visit him and received some broken silver from him.
Seeing that the old silversmith was physically weak, Bilan used the remaining ginseng before to boil the chicken soup, and the old silversmith was moved to a mess, and the broken silver in his hand accidentally fell into the soup, and when he took it out again, it turned black.
The old silversmith was stunned, and threw another one into it, but it still turned black. When he learns that Bilan has killed his son by his own hand, he is furious and decides to avenge his son.
The old silversmith struggled to get up, exhausted his life's craft, and created a silver collar, which he set up a mechanism, and once he put it on, he could not take it off, and it would lock tighter and tighter, and the life would strangle people.
He gave the collar to Bilan, falsely claiming that it was a gift from his son before he left. Bi Lan believed it to be true and immediately put it on her neck, and as a result, the collar locked tighter and tighter, making her breathless.
Looking at her in pain, the old silversmith angrily said his intentions. Bilan knew that he had wronged himself, but at this time she could not say anything, only a few words with difficulty, "I am pregnant with his child." "I lost my breath when I finished.
The eldest young master returned to his room and found Bilan's body, and he hurried to find the old silversmith.
The old silversmith did not deny it, saying that it was her own hand, because she killed the little silversmith with ginseng soaked in arsenic.
When the young master heard this, he knew that the old silversmith had wrongly blamed Bilan, and this thing must have been done by his father.
After the young master left, the old silversmith drank the bowl of ginseng chicken soup in one gulp and followed his son.
The eldest young master ran back to the house and questioned his father. The old man did not admit or deny it, in order not to let his son talk nonsense, he ordered someone to lock up the young master until the funeral of Bilan, and then let him out.
The next day, the desperate young master put on his favorite women's clothes and committed suicide by the blue grave.
He was finally relieved, and left a letter in his hand: "I'd rather die than be a member of the Matilda family."
That's the end of the story.
epilogue:
"Silver Jewelry" is another brand new love masterpiece by director Huang Jian's successor "Dahong Rice Shop", which is known as the most shocking tragic film in China in 2005, as well as the Chinese-style Mrs. Chatelei and her lover. Unfortunately, a review turned it into a joke.
The storyline itself is very good, but the director is too eager to show the feeling that love and sex are entangled, and the result is counterproductive, resulting in the film being banned from being released, even if it is later deleted and released, the word of mouth is not good, and the audience says that the adaptation is too chaotic, a bit of a boot itching taste.
Okay, let's not talk about how this film is, let's talk about our theme today, can a sexless marriage last? The movie "Silver Jewelry" gives us room to think. The tragedy of the blue blue is also the epitome of countless women under the patriarchal society.
Sexless marriages existed not only in ancient times, but also in society today. In 2009, sexology experts surveyed Chinese marital sex life, and the results showed that sexless marriage accounted for 25% of Chinese couples. That is, one in every 4 couples is experiencing a "sexless marriage."
In the face of unhappy marriages, many people think that it is extramarital affairs, mother-in-law relationships, widowed parenting, etc., in fact, the biggest enemy of misfortune is asexuality. Sexless marriage is like a chronic suicide, and if you can't help it, it will explode.
Wang Xiaobo once said:
Sex is the most primitive natural need of human beings, and it is as simple and beautiful as eating and sleeping.
Whether it's love or sex, pay attention to balance. In marriage, sex is not the icing on the cake, but the natural intercourse of love and desire. Only when love and sex are reconciled can marriage be peaceful and peaceful.