Defender Samuel Umtiti said his expulsion at Barcelona brought him to tears, but said he would not leave the club, although he was not part of manager Ronald Koeman's plans.
Umtiti, 27, was ridiculed by Barca fans during a pre-season friendly who believed his decision to stay this summer was one of the reasons the club could not keep Messi. Messi later joined Paris Saint-Germain on a free transfer basis.
The France international, who has yet to make a debut for Barca this season, says it's been a tough time but he wants to honour his contract at Camp Nou, which runs until 2023.
"The whistle hurts," Umtiti told Le Monde. "I never thought this would happen at this club because it's a club I love.
"(Mentally) it's tough. There were some tough moments with injuries, but I'm in a much better physical condition right now. I'm happy, but I want to play games and help the team. The coach made the decision and I had to prove that I was capable enough to play. I had to keep training hard. ”
Umtiti said he sometimes felt "lonely" and Barca even offered to let him leave for free in the summer.
However, he rejected the offer and an exciting conversation with president Laporta persuaded the club to give him a second chance.
"It was a very important conversation for me," he added. "I need to speak up about what's on my mind and let him know I'm in good shape and I want to help the team.
I cried at the meeting. We discussed some difficult issues; Very nervous. I don't say much, but if I do tell you something, it's from the heart. ”
Umtiti, who signed Barca from Lyon for €25 million, has said in 2016 he is healthier than ever to recover from a knee injury after he won the 2018 World Cup in France, adding that he will save his career at Camp Nou.
"There are 6 centre-backs here and I know it's difficult to get playing time, but that's how I am," he said. "If I have something in my head and I'm sure I'm good enough, I'll try to prove it."
"I'm in good shape right now, just missing a game and in better shape than when I first signed. Since then, everything has changed: training, my diet. I'm stronger and faster than I used to be.
"I don't think I'm going to play for other clubs, it's impossible. Now, I'm well aware of that. Football is my life and Barcelona is my life. I see myself here. I want to succeed here. ”